Jugs Like Jordan

Just incase you're in any doubt...THIS ISN'T ME!
Photo credit

If you've found this blog post via a Google search of the title, then I'm afraid you're going to be bitterly disappointed...and shame on you! *shakes head and tuts loudly*

Yes I'm breast feeding again.

I breast fed Mini Cheddar and was 'large' when my milk came in but jeez...this time...

This time my jugs were epic.

I don't think it helps that Baby E is a lazy little bugger. When my milk came in after I had MC, every time she fed it was like it was the last feed she'd ever have in her life. Baby E just sleeps and sleeps (and no, I'm not really complaining) and so my boobs were just throbbing and huge until my body established the whole 'supply and demand' scenario.

It's wasn't sexy, it was just plain awful. I had backache and I couldn't sleep properly. Why anyone would choose to have norks this humongous I'll never know.

I'm dreading post-breast feeding. After these bad boys go what am I going to be left with?

Spaniels ears?

Fruit Winders?

Bungee boobs?

Rocks in socks?

Whatever it is, it ain't going to be pretty but it will be worth it. Feeding my boy is something to treasure - that closeness, that bond...I love it.

So what if my tits head south and start poking out under my waistband...at least they will be like that with good reason.

In other, totally random news. I have found out I've been nominated for a couple of MAD Blog Awards. Last year I mad it through as a finalist for the Best New Blog which was amazing. I think this year I've been put forward for Best Baby Blog (not sure how as my baby is only a week old) and Best Pregnancy Blog - Yaye! Thank you SO much to whoever voted for me.

If you want to cast your votes for your favourite blogs then click on the MAD button below and make your favourite bloggers go a bit MAD. Feel free to throw me a nomination to if you enjoy my ramblings. My blog address is: http://sahmlovingit.blogspot.co.uk/

Post-Pregnancy Patter...He's Here!

So, our little baby boy arrived into the world at 10.44am on Wednesday 28th March.

I know I'm biased but he's beautiful.

Look...

So, that's the first secret out - I was expecting a boy!

The second thing I've kept to myself is that I was booked in for another c-section and I'd had my date scheduled since my last consultant appointment on 21st February. It wasn't a decision I took lightly but I knew it was the right one for me and I don't regret it for a single moment. I never thought it would be as good as the first experience with MC's birth but it was. In fact, it was better. I will report more on that soon.

So Baby E is here.

He needs a 'blog name'.

Mini Cheddar's name was born out of the fact some friends of mine call me 'Cheddar' or 'Ched' for short so it was natural we all had a laugh when I was pregnant with a 'Mini Cheddar'.  I had every intention of nicknaming this little one Babybel or BB for short but I'm not sure if it sounds a little girly? It's either that or Baby Ched. What do you think?

Baby E (as he will be known as for now) is a totally different baby to what MC was.  All he does is sleep. Honestly, you wouldn't even know he was here. Matt and I are getting good solid blocks of sleep each night - we are actually waking him for feeds or he'd sleep through the night. He just sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. I've never known a baby like it.

MC loves him very much as you can see from my Silent Sunday post yesterday. She's totally besotted and so gentle and caring with him.

So, this is a very quick update just to let you know how things are and to officially announce he's here.

I'm unbelievably happy. I have a new man in my life and he's the best.

I'm in love.

Pregnancy Dreams Are The Stuff Of Nightmares

It has to be said that being pregnant totally messes with our minds as well as our bodies.

Not only do I struggle to get through the simplest of tasks when awake I have found myself having THE weirdest dreams over the past months.

My head is constantly elsewhere, whether I'm working, doing things around the house or I'm snuggled up in bed.

Apparently it's the increase in hormones that cause our dreams to go wild. Everything gets blamed on them doesn't it? *shakes fist at hormones*

Let me share some of my dream gems:

• Driving a rally car with Craig David - and no, we weren't making love by Wednesday

• Running away from a giant tidal wave of Iced Gems. WTF?

• Blowing up a condom to giant proportions and using it as some sort of phallic hot air balloon

• Having an indepth debate with a tree about the pros and cons of camouflage. Again, WTF?

• Having my baby just appear in my arms and my tummy returning to normal size in an instant - I blame The Sims for that one

• Being cut in half by Paul Daniels. Now that's magic!

• Being a female 007 and managing to go undercover to foil a plot of world domination by thousands of seagulls. I think this is because my car has been attacked by poop lately.

• Having sex at a party with Simon Cowell (yup, that's the nightmare). Lets just say it was good and I got through to Judges houses!

So, there you have it. I'm actually surprised I have time to dream all this seeing as I feel like I'm constantly awake with heartburn or toilet trips!

I'm hoping normal dream service will resume shortly.

Silent Sunday #53

Inspired by...

I Can't...

                   ...see how I'm ever going to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes

                   ...find anything I'm looking for as my brain has turned to mush

                   ...figure out how I'm going to fit in freelance work around a 3 year old and a newborn

                   ...believe how much I miss my charity work already

                   ...see how we are going to fit two lots of child's accessories and toys in this house

                   ...see that my boobs will ever be the same again after another round of breastfeeding

                   ...believe I'll ever look at a bunch of grapes again without thinking about haemorrhoids

                   ...see my rings ever fitting back on my sausage fingers

                   ...work out how I'm ever going to get rid of the sock ridges on my puffy ankles

                   ...see how Matt and I are ever going to find the time (or the energy) for sex again

                   ...see me ever having a social life again

                   ...think there will ever be a time when I consume 144 Rennie tablets within 2 months

                   ...see my feet

                   ...see my foof

                   ...wait to meet my baby

Taken 2 weeks ago @ 36+1 weeks

Pregnancy Patter - 38 Weeks And About To Lose My Foof!

I can't believe the end is almost here. It's the home run now and it can't come quick enough.

I've been suffering the past week or so with sickness, dizziness, tightenings and pressure 'down below'. I actually said to Matt the other day "It feels like my foof is going to fall out!" He just looked at me confused and slightly disgusted. Men!

It only seems like yesterday I was sat in Tesco cafe crying (with happiness) after founding out we were expecting a baby again and here I am 34 weeks later about to bring another baby into the world. It's been a bit of a roller coaster this pregnancy. It's been SO much harder than when I was pregnant with Mini Cheddar. How I ever coped driving 124 miles every week day to and from work I'll never know.

We still aren't entirely ready for the new arrival. I still have washing, ironing and sorting to do but if the baby did put in an early appearance then we'd cope which is the main thing. Problem is, we are considering putting our house on the market and have gone so far as to have valuations done on the house. We certainly pick our moments don't we? What with MC being ill it's been a bit crazy this last week or so. I have a list as long as my arm of things to do but most of the time I'm too knackered to do a thing!

I'm feeling more and more at ease about things as I near the end but I'm still so scared that something is going to go wrong or there will be a problem with the baby. I just can't seem to shake off the feeling. It wasn't helped by the fact I bumped into my neighbour who lost her baby the other week. We hadn't had contact apart from me sending her a card and her texting me as she's been keeping herself to herself, understandably. It was in a place neither of us expected to see each other and all the time I was trying to cover up my bump with my coat so as not to flaunt it in her face. I could see the pain in her eyes and it broke my heart.

My new baby!

Matt went away down to London this weekend for his best mates stag night. Unfortunately, the timing and location of the wedding means we won't be able to attend. It's really upset us as this wedding has been planned for over 18 months and I was really looking forward to taking MC to her first wedding. I wasn't too worried about Matt going away - even if he was missing for the morning of Mother's Day. MC had made me a lovely card and a painted heart in a trinket box in play school which she brought into my room of her own doing - melted my heart. We picked Daddy up from the station just before 1pm and we went to McDonalds to grab a quick lunch. Nothing like being treated on Mother's Day! Anyway, Matt excelled himself totally as, when we got home, he produced a beautifully wrapped present and card from 'MC & Bump'. As I was opening it he said "Don't get too excited, it's not much". My jaw hit the floor when I realised it was a new iPad3! The boy done good...he can go away more often!

Heartburn is still getting to me although not as bad. The dreaded 'cankles' have started to form slightly. I took to wearing Matt's socks the other day as the sock marks mine left were getting pretty bad. Thankfully they aren't as bad as when I was pregnant with MC. It was proper baking bread in my shoes that time (in case you don't get that reference then watch this you tube clip - don't watch it in front of the kids!). The amazing news is I've managed to get through another pregnancy without a single stretch mark! Woohoo! You watch, now I've said that I'll get one overnight.

I've been sent some fabulous goodies to review for the new baby. The superb new Sanamama baby carrier which I can't wait to try out. It certainly looks and feels excellent quality. Having tried a carrier with MC which she really didn't like, this one looks 100 times better (easy to use and a better position for baby) and I'm hoping bump will enjoy it when the time is right.

This morning I received the new Mirano change bag from Pacapod. I had been looking at the Pacapod change bags following recommendations from some Twitter friends but I had opted for Logan style as I reported in a previous update. So imagine how delighted I was to be offered the gorgeous new Mirano. It's such a beautiful bag and I'm in love already - can't wait to use it!

So, that's about it for now. I wonder if I'll make my next update due at 40 weeks? Guess you'll just have to wait and see...

NOTE

2 weeks ago I ran a competition to win a bumper pack of HiPP Organic goodies. 

I'm pleased to announce that the winner (selected by random number generator) was 

Zoe Corkhill

Well done Zoe!

Pregnancy Patter - 36 Weeks And A Bumper HiPP Giveaway!

COMPETITION UPDATE: THIS COMPETITION CLOSED AT 9AM 19th MARCH 2012

The winner chosen by random number generator was:


Zoe Corkhill


Congrats Zoe :)

1.     Emmainbromley (comment)

2.     Jenny (comment)

3.     Zoe Corkhill (comment)

4.     Zoe Corkhill (tweet)

5.     Katherine De Riera (comment)

6.     Katherine De Riera (tweet)

7.     Marianne Whooley (tweet)

8.     Alison T (comment)

9.     Alison T (tweet)

10.  Gifts From Nature (tweet)

11.  First Time Daddy (comment)

12.  First Time Daddy (tweet)

My last update at 34 weeks was a bit of a low point. For that, I apologise.

I know I've thanked you all for all the support you gave me but I wanted to do something else to say thank you (more on that in a moment).

I'm feeling more positive about things now, although the feeling of anxiousness won't dissipate until our baby is in my arms, safe and healthy.

We've had our consultant appointment where we discussed whether it was to be another c-section or a VBAC. Well, after lengthy talks we came to a decision and all will be revealed in due course. You know me, I've kept the sex secret and now the birth...I just love surprises! All I can tell you is it wasn't an easy decision to make and I'm nervous.

Since the last update Matt has been away to America for a job interview which was extremely hard. I didn't realise just how difficult those days without him would have been. The time difference and distance was just awful being so heavily pregnant but he's home now and it's helped ease my feelings. He's still waiting to hear about the job but because they've kept him waiting so long he doesn't think he's got it. He told me again last night he'd be relieved as at least he wouldn't have to make the decision on whether to take it or not. We'll see...

Whilst he was away I've been busy 'nesting'. I've washed all the baby clothes and bedding, sorted the nursery (got everything ready for the new arrival and hung the new curtains) and I've made sure my hospital bag is completely packed. I've bought a brand new change bag which I absolutely love! I've also got all birthdays, anniversaries and weddings up until the middle of May covered by buying cards and presents in readiness so I don't have to think about it for the first month of the new arrival. How organised am I?

My heartburn is getting worse. A lot worse. I seem to be living on Rennie at the moment. Chocolate gives me bad heartburn. Does it stop me eating it? Hell, no! I'm not mad! Om nom nom.

So far *touches as much wood as I can* I haven't got the dreaded 'cankles' that I did when pregnant with MC. Also, I keep checking my stomach for stretch marks and so far, I'm escaping them again. Huzzah! However, over the weekend my hands decided to swell. I have been in total agony (even with ice cold water and soap) trying to get my engagement and wedding rings off. Thought I was going to dislocate my finger at one point and was close to tears it was so painful. Managed to get them off and I now feel naked without them.

Anyway, on to more important things. The very lovely people at HiPP Organic got in touch with me a couple of weeks back and offered me some goodies that I could keep for the new arrival or giveaway. Being the lovely and generous person I am *ahem* I'm putting them ALL up on here for you to have a chance to win the whole bundle as my way of saying thank you to all my readers.

I've always been impressed with the range of HiPP Organic products and I used to buy them for MC. I also joined the Baby Club online which is a great source of information. There, amongst other fabulous things, you'll find a wealth of information for your exact needs, polls, quizzes and superb special offers. What I loved most was the chat forums and the fact you could even 'ask a HiPP expert' a question. It's a fun and friendly place to be. Basically the club has everything for mums (and dads!) and mums-to-be. Make sure you sign-up.

So, fancy winning this bumper pack of HiPP Organic goodies for your little one?

2 x Banana Porridge Cereal

1 x Banana and Peach Breakfast
1 x Apple, Organge and Banana Cereal
2 x Apple, Strawberry and Banana Fruit Pouch
3 x Mango, Apple and Peach Fruit Pouch
1 x Coco and Vanilla Dessert Jar
1 x Apple and Vanilla Dessert Jar
1 x Spaghetti Carbonara Jar
1 x Spaghetti Bolognese Jar
1 x Celeriac and Tender Beef Hot Pot
2 x Little Nibbles Organic Carrot and Pumpkin Rice Cakes
2 x Little Nibbles Organic Apple Rice Cakes
1 x Little Nibbles Organic Apple and Blueberry Rice Cakes
1 x Little Nibbles Organic Tomato and Sweet Red Pepper Rice Cakes

Yes, this giveaway is worth over £30! I can also guarantee your little one will love it - as will you.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below saying you'd love to win and what you think your little one would like from the pack (if you win, you will receive the whole bundle). It couldn't be simpler!

For an extra entry, those of you on Twitter can tweet the following:

I'd love to win the Bumper HiPP Organic Giveaway with @SAHMlovingit & @HiPPOrganic http://alturl.com/nm3zb

I'm not asking for follows but if you wish to follow me, or HiPP on Twitter, please do so - my ramblings can be quite entertaining sometimes...even if I do so say myself (there are other ways to follow me... just look at the top of the side bar of my blog). It won't get you any extra entries though. Sorry!

One lucky winner from the entries below (and from Twitter) will be drawn at random. The closing date for the competition is 9.30am Monday 19th March so you have two weeks. Go!

Competition is open to UK residents only.

Competition closes at 9am Monday 19th March 2012.

Entries will be drawn at random after the closing date and notified by Twitter/Email as soon as possible.

Winner will receive the complete bundle of HiPP Organic goodies listed above.

As always, views, opinions and words within this post are entirely my own.

Pregnancy Patter - 34 Weeks And Fighting Bad Feelings

I'm quite up and down at the moment.

Some days I'm fairly full of life and positive but there's something eating away at me which has been since 1st August when I first found out I was pregnant. This has only been fed more by some devastating news I found out on Thursday just gone.

Our neighbours who were expecting a baby a mere 7 weeks after our baby is due have recently lost their little bundle. I don't know the full details, I'm not sure I want to (as awful as that sounds) but they had to go through the birth knowing the outcome - their baby had died.

I can't begin to imagine the pain they must be feeling and they are constantly on my mind. We were only at their wedding in the early summer. It's just heartbreaking.

I know it happens. Only in 2010, my friends Sister lost her baby at 36 weeks. That was a complete shock to the system. I'm not stupid, I know so many pregnancies end in miscarriage but when it's so close to home it feels more 'real' if that makes sense.

The thing is, all along in this pregnancy I've been so much more nervous, so much more aware of the possibility of things going wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it but I think it's due to a number of things.  The miscarriages I hear about, whether in 'real life', in the news or through blogs I read. The fact having given birth to a beautiful daughter I am more aware of what I stand to lose if something goes wrong. The worry that I can't possibly be blessed with two happy, healthy and beautiful children. I just can't shake this bad feeling.

All these thoughts have been spinning around in my head for a long while now but the news last Thursday really brought them all up to the surface once and for all. I've shed a few tears and I try to keep busy to keep my mind away from bad thoughts but it's so hard. I've said before how active this baby is so when I don't feel any movement for a while I start to panic and it causes me really restless nights. So I'm either kept awake by the baby constantly kicking me in the ribs or I'm kept awake with worry about lack of movement. I can't win.

I feel drained.

I feel nervous.

I keep telling myself I'm silly to dwell on things so much but pregnancy emotions really don't help.

It's also not helped by the fact that Matt is flying to the U.S. on Friday and he won't be back until the following Tuesday. This is the longest he's been away, plus he's never been away over a weekend before...let alone over 3,500 miles away! He has to go as it's a job interview and a superb opportunity - I've told him to go - but I'm nervous. I'll be 35 weeks and I'm just hoping I don't go into premature labour. I need him here. I want him here. He has to be here.

I'm guessing what will be, will be though and no amount of worrying is going to help me - or the baby.

I have the appointment with my consultant tomorrow which should determine the choice of birth. I'll let you know how that goes in my next update.

I'm sorry this is a depressing post, I just needed to get it all out - having a blog is great therapy sometimes.

Pregnancy Patter - 32 Weeks And It's All Starting To 'Kick' In

Well, this post should now bring me up to date and back on track after last weeks 28 and 30 weeks double catch-up post.

I'm 32 weeks today. 32 weeks. That's just under 2 months until EDD. Eek.

I really can't believe how quickly it's going. Maybe it's because I have Mini Cheddar to look after now and what with the holiday last month it's all systems go in the Lucas household to prepare for the new arrival. We have MC's 3rd birthday in just under 5 weeks so I have that to organise too which will keep me busy, as well as continuing my freelance work.

I went for a routine midwife appointment last Wednesday and all was fine. Measuring well and the baby was head down at the time, although that could change on a minute by minute basis for a while.  I know the baby was breech on holiday as the kicks were really low down exactly how I carried all along with MC and I knew it had turned because the kicks are under my ribcage now.

I mentioned last time that the baby is a lot more active that MC was - well, it's not letting up. Sometimes the kicks are really painful and the weird shapes my stomach makes are quite freaky. The Braxton Hicks contractions are really something now too - so much so that last Friday evening I had one that was so intense that I did think for a few minutes I was about to go into premature labour.

This has prompted Matt and I to organise my hospital bag this week. We bought new born nappies on Sunday in readiness and I already have items of clothing for the new baby so it is starting to come together. I just need to wash all MC's old newborn items and tidy up the nursery and we are almost ready.

I say almost because we have a bit of a problem with the cot.

MC was using it as a cot bed up until November so we need to convert it back into a cot (and buy a new mattress). When we made it into a cot bed we put the screw set for the cot somewhere safe. Somewhere a little too safe unfortunately. Luckily we are able to order a new set of screws for it and we are waiting on delivery - just hope they come soon.

It's really starting to hit Matt and I that we are going to have two children soon. It's a strange feeling sometimes. I know when I was on holiday last month there was a time when MC was asleep in the buggy at EPCOT and I was on my own with her for a while. I just sat there looking at her and thinking about how I'm going to spread my love across two children. I know I will. I know I will love this child just as much as I love MC but I can't help but cherish these last few months with my darling daughter.

Oh, and as a follow up to last weeks bump pic - I found an even better one from holiday which really shows off the size of my belly! This was actually taken 10th January at Chef Mickeys - so I've grown even more...needless to say, I'm struggling to stay in my size 8 maternity jeans now :(

Pregnancy Patter - 28 and 30 Weeks...The Disney World Edition

Last time I wrote an update was just after Christmas when I was 26 weeks so I've missed 2 whole updates. I'm 31 weeks today so I thought I'd better get back on track ready for the 32 week mark next week.

As you all know we spent from the 4th January to 25th January in Orlando, Florida. To say it was an amazing holiday would be a bit of an understatement if I'm honest. We all loved it. 3 weeks of pure happiness (apart from Mini Cheddar being really poorly for a couple days - and costing us $360) and not one of us wanted to come home. I would urge anyone and everyone to get there at least once in their lifetime, it really is the most magical place ever...and amazing weather to boot. What's not to love?

I have to admit, I was a little bit apprehensive about travelling so far when so heavily pregnant. When I was pregnant with MC I had severe swollen feet and ankles (aka cankles) in the last month or so. Therefore I was terrified of the 9 hour flight. I needn't have worried though, my Boots flight socks did me proud. No swelling at all! It helped that Matt had upgraded us on the flight so we had huge leather seats, bags of leg room, endless drinks (orange and water for me *sob*) and so on. It really was the most comfortable flight to the US I've ever experienced and a great start to the holiday.

The only pregnancy problem I experienced on holiday was when we landed. Those of you who have travelled to the US will know how hard the immigration people can be at the airport. The US is a tough country to get into, not just to live but to visit. Waiting in line I could see the official had already clocked I was pregnant so I was prepared for the worst. The grilling I received was so bad though, at one point I was scared he was going to refuse me entry. I think in the end he saw the look of panic on my face so he went easy on me and said "Don't worry ma'am, I'm just doing my job" and then smiled a little - very rare for someone in US immigration...or it could have been wind! Yeah, probably wind.

I was still able to enjoy the holiday to the max, despite being pregnant. Of course there were rides that I couldn't go on but I did the main Magic Kingdom rides at Disney Land, Paris many moons ago. The only ones I would have loved to go on were Test Track at EPCOT (Matt did ride this alone and loved it), The Tower Of Terror at Hollywood Studios and Kraken at SeaWorld (Matt was too much of a scaredy-cat to ride). Next time though - yes, we already have plans to go back!

I went away with a bumper 72 pack of Rennie. I had been getting heartburn quite bad before I went and I know the food in the US is immense so I was well prepared. I think I used about 8 tablets. I think the US food agrees with my pregnancy more than the food in the UK.

My bump has grown a lot over the time I've been away. I was watching videos from the holiday earlier today and you really can see the difference as the weeks pass. I'm getting really strong movement now, so much so that I can easily freak people out by asking them to watch my belly. This baby moves a lot more than MC did and I thought she moved lots. If I put a hand on my stomach the baby will kick or punch it off - needless to say I almost lost a sandwich the other day after resting my plate on it!

I was due to have a GTT at the hospital the day after we got back but I felt terrible with a cold I picked up just before we left Orlando - add onto that severe jet lag (I got about 10 minutes of sleep on the night flight home, I was a wreck!) so I cancelled it. I need to reschedule it as it was due at 28 weeks! Oops.

I have a routine midwife appointment tomorrow and then my consultant appointment is 21st February which is when I'll find out if it's another section or a VBAC. I can't believe it's only 9 weeks until my due date - exciting times!

So, those of you who have been following my updates will remember I have twice promised a bump picture. Not wanting to disappoint again, here is me (with a couple of my new friends). They actually patted my bump after this picture was taken.

Pregnancy Patter - 26 Weeks...The Christmas Edition

Firstly MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you all had an amazing time full of love and laughter.

Yes, I know, I'm 2 days late. I did wish everyone a Merry Christmas on Facebook and Twitter and I had plans to write a post but time (and illness) didn't allow.

Secondly, dear readers, an apology.

2 weeks ago I promised you a bump picture in this update and I've failed. I have a good excuse though - I've been poorly again this last week. I went downhill fast, managed to get through Christmas Day and then crashed into a bed-ridden state yesterday. Matt has been really ill too so it hasn't been a totally great Christmas in our house, sadly. I've actually got up out of bed today but still not feeling great. We were supposed to go to Nottingham to visit the inlaws Boxing Day but so far, we haven't made it. We are hoping to go tomorrow.

Mini Cheddar has been so well behaved. She has a cold but has been feeling okay despite having to have her nose wiped every second of the day. We felt so bad for her yesterday as she was just left to her own devices whilst Matt and I did relay sleeping as we both felt terrible.

Still, on the positive side, at least (hopefully) all our illnesses will be gone in time for the holiday next week.

Back to the pregnancy...I'm still suffering with heartburn but oddly I haven't had it as bad as I would have expected after overloading on meat, brussell sprouts, cheese and cake etc. Baby is still partying hard inside - making me wince sometimes it's so uncomfortable.

I have a midwife appointment first thing tomorrow morning just to check everything is okay before we go away. I'm hoping to find out which way the baby is as I'm convinced this one is breech again like MC.

Matt and I are starting to panic a bit about space in the house. Christmas has brought an influx of toys and games to the house - far too many. Come April we will have a baby and I dread to think how much stuff next Christmas. When we return from Florida we are going to have to do some serious sorting out. At least the nursery is decorated and so is MC's new bedroom so that's a weight off our minds.

Yes I'm still in two minds over the whole VBAC v's elective caesarean section but I've promised myself I'm going to forget about it for the next few weeks and just enjoy the break away.

So sorry about the rubbish update but I'm hoping this picture will make up for it. This is MC taken Christmas morning with one of her presents over her PJ's. This is what has kept me going through feeling rubbish...

p.s. Whilst I'm away in January I have 7 great bloggers lined up with some fab guest posts for your reading pleasure. Really looking forward to show-casing some of my blogging friends to you...more news on that next week and I promise a bump picture next time *hangs head*

What A Difference 3 Years Makes

This time 3 years ago I was pregnant with Mini Cheddar. About the same stage as I'm in with my current pregnancy. She was to be our first baby and Matt and I were very excited. However, Matt was quite over-protective.

I gave up work Christmas Eve even though MC wasn't due until mid-March as Matt didn't like the idea of me driving up to Preston and back (a 128 mile round trip) every day. To be honest, I was grateful of this. It gave me a chance to look after myself and fully prepare for the new arrival.

Matt didn't like me driving anywhere and would worry about me - and the baby - constantly. He would get nervous if I was planning a night out or anything out of the ordinary that meant I was leaving the house for any substantial amount of time.

We had decided to spend our 'last Christmas on our own' and I mean quite literally 'on our own'. We had Christmas dinner and the whole of Christmas Day at home, just the two of us (and the late Betty Dogface). I had wanted to go abroad for Christmas as a treat but Matt was nervous about straying too far away from home incase anything happened and we needed to get to the hospital. I suggested going up to Bamburgh (a place we both loved) but even that, a mere 4 hour drive, was too far for comfort for him.

It became mildly frustrating - especially as his nervousness *ahem* also affected our sex life a bit.

However, looking back I understand.

What I'm failing to understand this time around is just how relaxed Matt is about the new arrival. He's taking it all in his stride - in fact, he's admitted to me that most of the time he even forgets I'm pregnant! How he does this I'll never know as I'm sporting a mighty bump.

That will be me in 2 weeks (hopefully)
Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net

We've just returned from a 4 night break in Edinburgh (a 4.5 hour drive away from home) but more importantly, in October Matt only went and booked a 3 week holiday to Florida and we fly out 2 weeks today! I'll be 27 weeks on the day we fly and 30 weeks on the way back. I've even had to get a 'fit to fly form' signed by my consultant for the return journey.

I know it sounds a bit daft but I didn't want to go at first. Matt took a good couple of weeks to persuade me. I think it was the fact that he wanted to book it at a time when I was feeling so ill in the earlier stages of my pregnancy. I would have thought that he would have seen how ill I was and thought that a holiday wasn't the best idea.  Oddly though, Matt was persistent - even when I told him that airlines get a bit nervous taking pregnant women after the 28 week mark. How times have changed in the mind of my husband it seems!

Still, I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband who wants us to really enjoy these last few months as a family of three.

So, that's it. We are going. That is if nothing happens in the next 2 weeks to stop us. I'm coming around to the thought of the holiday now and I am quite excited but I still have doubts - I think it's the fact it's right after the Christmas break and I have so much to do my head is in a spin.

Matt seems so relaxed about it all and now it's my turn to be a little nervous!

Pregnancy Patter - 24 Weeks And 'Viable'

Well, I've reached it! That second big milestone after those nervous first 12 weeks - the week the pregnancy becomes viable. I know things can still go wrong but I have to say I'm relieved to reach this milestone. I don't know why but I've been much more nervous about everything this time around.

It's been a bit of a rough ride at times what with sickness, a severe headache then just 2 weeks of feeling 'normal' followed by the most awful cold and cough and the stomach bug.  I'm happy to say that, although I still have a cough, I'm feeling quite good at the moment.

If you're reading this today (Tuesday) I'm currently in Edinburgh in the middle of a 4 night break away with Matt and Mini Cheddar.  We went up there last year so it may become a 'Christmas tradition'. It's the one city in the U.K. I would love to live in - I adore the place. It's lovely to get away before Christmas and, to be honest, I need the break. I know we are going to Florida in January (fingers crossed) but this is a more relaxed affair and after all the illness it will be lovely to just chill out before the festivities.

My bump is growing nicely and I'm in size 8 maternity jeans (whoop whoop!). The maternity jeans I had when I was pregnant with MC were a size 12 and they hang off me so despite my bump being quite large it seems my arse has remained fairly small this time!

The baby is a right kicker, same as MC was. The worst is when I feel the kicks really low down in my groin - sometimes it's almost unbearably uncomfortable. It makes me jump. I'm starting to wonder whether this baby will end up breech the same as MC did (maybe my pelvis is that way inclined?) and the decision for another c-section or a VBAC will be taken out of my hands! Despite me wanting to try and forget about it for another 10 weeks I find it's a decision that's on my mind constantly.

In addition to the kicks I can really see the baby move now - I'll just sit and watch an arm, elbow or whatever stick out and move about. I always thought it would be something I would freak out about (I used to have a bit of a phobia of pregnant bellies) but it's something I love about being pregnant.

The other good news is that I popped in to see my midwife last Wednesday and there was no trace of glucose in my urine which my consultant (and I) was worried about at 20 weeks - damn all that pineapple juice! It's a weight off my mind as there's a history of diabetes in the family and there's no way I want to be on a diet whilst in Florida! Om nom nom.

With all this good news, comes the bad. My heartburn is getting worse so it won't be long before I'm keeping our local chemist on his toes ordering stocks of Rennie and Gaviscon. I had never had heartburn in my life until I was pregnant with MC and it seems this little one is bringing it back into my life even earlier this time.

That's it for me for a couple of weeks again - next time I promise to include an updated 'bump' picture!

Pregnancy Patter - 22 Weeks And The Big VBAC Debate

I can't believe it's almost 2 weeks since my 20 week scan. I'm 22 weeks tomorrow - eek.

2 weeks of knowing the sex of our baby, it's a strange feeling...one I'm still not really used to. Part of me wishes that I didn't know as some of the excitement has gone now. Matt wanted to know (and I didn't) so I'll blame him happily. Still, at least it gives me something to focus on and the opportunity to look at proper themes for the nursery rather than just going neutral like we did last time.

In my last update I told you that I was ill with a sore throat and headache and that Mini Cheddar had been suffering badly with an awful cold and cough. Well, that transferred to me and I've spent a good amount of time in bed over these past couple of weeks feeling truly horrible (hence the lack of blog activity). I still have an awful cough now. Just as I was starting to recover at the end of last week I was hit with a stomach bug (or I ate something that didn't agree with me) and spent another day and a half in bed - and on the loo!

I'm hoping that after 3 weeks of illness I'm finally bug free and can look forward to Christmas - and our yearly December mini holiday up to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks. I'm also hoping to catch up on everyones blogs again!

So, on to other things...

As most of you know I had to have an elective section due to Mini Cheddar being well and truly stuck in the breech position.

The thing is, I'd planned a natural water birth so when I was told this news I was completely crushed. My NCT course covering natural birth (with a brief 10 minute section on caesarean birth) seemed pretty pointless at the time. I spent a good couple of weeks in tears and took to a baby forum where, with help from others in the same situation, I got through it and accepted I was having a c-section.

I turned it into a positive in the end and, as it happened, I had an amazing birth. The caesarean was a lovely experience and one I will cherish.

Shortly after the birth of Mini Cheddar
(eyes and nose puffy from blubbing)

So, now I'm pregnant again and over half way through. I saw my consultant a couple of weeks ago and she gave me a leaflet on having a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). They are recommending I try for a VBAC as I have no real medical reason to request a caesarean but I can push for one if I wish.

The thing is, after being so totally crushed at not being able to go through a natural birth process last time, I always thought I would jump at the chance for a VBAC. But now, faced with the decision I find myself wondering if I really want to try for one. My head is filled with so many questions...

1. What if my scar ruptures?
2. What if I can't get through the natural birth and end up having an emergency caesarean?
3. What if something awful happens?
4. What if, what if, what if?

I know it's just me being silly and worrying but I know so many women who have gone through natural labour only to end up having an emergency caesarean. I don't think I could cope with that after having such a positive first birth experience. The thought of everything spiralling out of control makes me very nervous.

However, it may not come to that...everything could be fine.

If I choose an elective section the thought of having to spend 2 nights in hospital away from Matt and Mini Cheddar after afterwards also fills me with dread. The thought of not being able to pick MC up or do much around the house etc. is not something I would want either.

However, when I had my first caesarean, as it was elective, I had a great recovery. I was driving 2 weeks afterwards and healed really quickly.

I have been told if I go for a VBAC then they will only allow me to go a week overdue and if there are no signs of labour they will go ahead with a caesarean anyway so part of me is thinking I should just go ahead with a section and save all the faffing!

Oh decisions, decisions.

I'm seeing my consultant 21st February 2012 so I have until then to decide. I'm trying not to think about it until after Christmas but it's not going to be easy.

Pregnancy Patter - 20 Weeks And Scan Time!

Hello baby!

We had the 20 week scan today and it was fabulous. We got to see the baby in so much detail and it really cheered me up as, despite having a much better time with the sickness etc., I've had a bit of a crappy time over the past couple of weeks - all starting with my beloved dog being put to sleep just over 2 weeks ago. I should be feeling really happy as we have so much to look forward to over the next few months but I've been a bit down. I'm guessing pregnancy hormones just make everything feel 10 times worse.

I was feeling very anxious before the scan. I just wanted to know that everything was alright. Even though I've been having good movements now for a long time there's always that niggling doubt.

We ended up finding out the sex of the baby this morning. I didn't want to find out but Matt did and as I wouldn't let him find out with Mini Cheddar it was time to concede. We weren't going to tell anyone but our parents asked so we told them. My Sister said she doesn't want to know though - so hoping my Mum and Dad don't spill the beans! It feels very strange knowing...I still wish we hadn't found out but I'm happy also that we did. I know, I don't make any sense but hey, I'm pregnant!

We spent a long time with the consultant after the scan. I'm consultant led as I had to have a caesarean section with MC. I have until 34 weeks to decide to try and push for another caesarean or to try for a VBAC. I must say at the moment that the VBAC is looking more desirable - the thought of staying in hospital for 2 nights with MC at home will kill me. It's funny because first time I was so prepared for a natural birth and was destroyed when I knew I'd have to have a c-section. Now, after having such an amazing c-section birth, the thought of a VBAC scares the hell out of me! What will be, will be I guess.

The glucose levels in my urine were VERY high today which is of concern to them. I am due to have a GTT at 30 weeks anyway because of family history of diabetes - I had to have one with MC but it was fine. Hopefully it's just the amount of pineapple juice I drank this morning when I woke up (oops!) and the fact I had THE biggest chocolate panettone at Piccolinos last night. 

In other news I'm feeling really ill in a non-pregnancy related way. My throat feels like it's on fire, my head aches and tonight I've started aching. Really hacked off as I had my flu jab in October. MC is really struggling. She's had a bad cold and the worst cough ever for almost 2 weeks and tonight she's thrown up everywhere. She's had a sleep for an hour and then woke up coughing and crying and talking about wanting to go to Asda (?!?!). Back to the doctors for us tomorrow!

That's all for now...enough of my ramblings. See you in 2 weeks!

Pregnancy Patter - 18 Weeks And Loving It

Well, 2 weeks has passed since my last proper update and I have to say things have turned around remarkably in those 2 weeks.

I feel alive!

On the Tuesday of that time I was at my worst when a package arrived from the lovely people at WaterBaby. I took my first drink that day and haven't looked back since, it was literally like I'd been reborn the following day. I even managed to do housework which I hadn't touched in a long while.

It could be a total coincidence but I think not.  I've now run out of WaterBaby and, although I'm still feeling reasonably OK, I do have to say I haven't got as much energy as when I was drinking it. So...I've just ordered a bumper pack with them.  Hope it arrives quickly.  I just need them to start doing some sachets of the drink that you can add to water so I can take them on holiday with me!

In other news, it's just less than 2 weeks until our 20 week scan.  I'm very nervous but also excited.  Matt is still saying he wants to find out the sex but I don't. I've agreed that if he is adamant then I'll go along with his wishes and we'll find out as we didn't with Mini Cheddar.

I've also got all my old maternity clothes out of the loft. I thought I was lucky in that I'm pregnant at exactly the same time of year as I was with MC...then Matt went and booked a big holiday for January! So it's going to be a bit of a scrabble trying to find some very cheap Spring/Summer maternity wear.  We have so much to do over the next 2 months we've had to write a list to keep track of it all. Somewhere in the middle of it we are going up to Edinburgh for 4 nights for our usual Christmas jaunt...I feel like a pregnant Judith Chalmers at the moment.

The only bad thing that has happened in these past 2 weeks is the fact my chin erupted in the worse case of spots I've ever seen...I was just lucky that I was potty training MC so I didn't really need to go out. My skin wasn't even this bad when I was a teenager. My bathroom cabinet is like an advert for Clean & Clear. Lets' hope they are under control soon!

Yesterday I was lucky enough to be invited to the head office of Mamas & Papas for an exclusive look at their new Spring/Summer range. I have always loved Mamas & Papas but now I'm 'in love' with them completely (and the Mylo!). The staff there are so lovely, knowledgeable and passionate about their products. I'll be writing up a blog post about my trip there very very soon - exciting!

So, enough of my ramblings for now...I'll be back in 2 weeks with news of the scan.

You Know You're Pregnant When...*

You can't walk around Asda for 15 minutes without gagging at certain foods.

Open my food cupboards and these fall out...
I'll be looking like a Fruit Mento soon

You are addicted to eating fruit Mentos.

You drop a fruit Mento in the footwell of your car whilst driving and almost cry.

People keep telling you how big you're getting and you don't (most of the time) feel like punching them in the face.

You think nothing of putting chilli jam on a roast beef sandwich.

You sit and eat pickled onions straight from the jar.

You put the butter dish in the bin and some rubbish in the fridge.

You're in bed before 8pm on a Friday night.

You're still in your dressing gown at 11am and don't feel guilty about it.

You see some gorgeous Autumn outfits in the shop just because you know you can't buy them.

You have to have a lie down after doing anything that involves standing up for more than 30 minutes.

You can't watch a game show without getting emotionally involved with the contestants and sobbing like a baby when they win/lose.

You find yourself standing by yourself looking down and wondering if it's the last time you'll see your feet.

Your husband surprises you with a plan to go to Florida on holiday 3 months before the new baby arrives and you aren't sure you want to go.

You scream hysterically at your husband if he gets himself a chocolate/biscuit/cake without getting you one.

Your craving for meat is that bad that you can't drive past a McDonalds without using the drive thru to just grab a Sausage McMuffin or Big Mac.

Your craving for meat is that bad that you make your husband go to the 24 hour McDonalds at midnight.

You don't really care that there are actually 565 calories and a shit load of salt in a Double Sausage McMuffin as long as you get your fix.

Your chin resembles that of a 15 year old McDonalds worker because of all the crap you're eating.

You have to run out to the shop to buy a cabinet full of spot treatment.

You visit the toilet for a pee more than 7 times in a couple of hours during the night.

You are tempted to take your pillow and duvet into the ensuite and sleep on the loo to save getting up.

You use the fact you have a pregnancy related 'illness' to get out of having sex.




* Okay, so these are all ME but I just had to share

Pregnancy Patter - 16 Weeks And Still Sick

Yes, I know my bump is huge already
(At least MC's hand makes it look a little smaller)

It was about time I got around to blogging about my pregnancy. I didn't really take any photos of my bump (apart from a couple) when I was pregnant with Mini Cheddar so I have nothing to look back on.

I've decided this time it's going to be different. Now I have this blog to use as a diary too. I'm not going to blog about it every week but just when I have some news.

I was 16 weeks yesterday. The time I'm supposed to be 'blooming'.

Yeah right!

I'm off blogging again as I've been feeling a bit rubbish this week.

Yesterday I spent most of the day on the sofa, unable to move without feeling sick or my head pounding. I was that poorly that when one of my friends rang me to see how I was I started crying as I felt so sorry for myself. I honestly thought that I was over it but no, I don't know what my body is playing at but some days (thankfully most) I feel fine but then others I'm of no use to anyone.

Matt found me curled up on the sofa at 5.30pm yesterday, no dinner prepared, nothing. I didn't have the energy to interact with my daughter, let alone tidy the house and I felt awful about it all. Luckily I have a superb husband who, despite being out at meetings all day and driving a few hundred miles, came in and ran around the house like 'Super Dad', tidied up, sorted out Mini Cheddar and the dog, got me some water, nursed me and then...rang up Dominoes Pizza who delivered our dinner in 30 minutes. What a star!

Today is a totally different day. Today I feel remotely human again. I've done some freelance work, been to a play school meeting, been to see my midwife, done some more work, tidied up and organised dinner (left over pizza yes, but hey at least I thought about it!).

The trip to the community midwife went really well and, as this is my second baby, I don't have to go back until I'm 28 weeks. I have my 20 week scan at the hospital booked for the 15th November so looking forward to that. Matt wants to find out the sex of the baby but I'm not so keen. I guess it will be a last minute decision.

I have been feeling the baby move for the past couple of weeks now, in fact I'm convinced it was after the MAD Blog Awards in London whilst I was in bed in my hotel room that I felt the first movements - must have been all the excitement! The midwife even said she saw the baby move when I was laid on the examining table. I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat today for the first time too - I remember this so well with Mini Cheddar and it would always get me really emotional.

So, that's it in a nutshell. I have to say I've felt a lot more sick this time than I did with MC and a lot more zapped of energy. The lovely people at mywaterbaby.com heard my moaning about sickness last week on Twitter and very kindly sent me a box of their folic acid hydration drink which arrived yesterday - perfect timing! It's early days yet but maybe that's why I am feeling much better today. Who knows? I will report back soon on my findings.

MC is loving the pregnancy so far (we told her at 12 weeks) and she regularly talks about her "baby in Mummy's tummy" and talks to the bump or puts her hand on it. She seems excited and keeps asking for "baby to come out now". Let's hope she's as excited when her new sibling enters the world.

24 weeks and counting.

The Day I Cried In The Tesco Cafe

Monday 1st August 2011 to be exact.

It wasn't due to the fact I have grown a hatred for Tesco and their awful customer service. No, it was something much deeper than that.

I was happy deep down and I guess they were tears of joy mixed with tears of confusion and the unknown.

For only 2 hours before the water works started in the cafe, my husband and I had just clapped eyes on this.

I know I announced my pregnancy with my Silent Sunday post and shocked you all (sorry), it's been hard to keep a secret from everyone and we only told our own parents the other weekend. Yes it's been the 'real' reason I haven't been blogging much as I've felt quite rubbish if I'm perfectly honest. Life has been a bit crazy for the last couple of months. There have been ups and downs - elation, happiness, sickness, tears, extreme exhaustion and confusion.  Oh and not to mention the whole headache scare last week. Thankfully, as I write this, today is the first day in well over a week that I haven't had a severe headache. I actually feel like I've been reborn (dramatic eh?).

Anyway, this pregnancy was planned. Completely planned.

So why cry?

I can only describe the moment, that exact moment when my pregnancy hunger and craving for meat (more on that another time) led me to stop off for a bacon sandwich at Tesco cafe only 2 hours after consuming my breakfast at home! Yes my waistline (and arse) is expanding rapidly.

I was with Mini Cheddar and we both sat next to each other on the sofa.  Maybe it was the fact she was secretly after some of my bacon butty (probably, knowing her!) but she looked at me, put her head on one side, put her hand on my hand and said "I love you Mummy". It was if she just knew.

That was enough in my emotional, newly pregnant state for the floodgates to open.

Being a stay-at-home mum means that MC pretty much gets my undivided attention. In 6 months time that will change and it's going to be a big learning curve for both of us. Back to having a new baby for my husband and I. Having a sibling for Mini Cheddar.

Here's to the journey of pregnancy and birth again and all it brings with it.

Silent Sunday #35