Monday, 28 November 2011

Pregnancy Patter - 22 Weeks And The Big VBAC Debate

I can't believe it's almost 2 weeks since my 20 week scan. I'm 22 weeks tomorrow - eek.

2 weeks of knowing the sex of our baby, it's a strange I'm still not really used to. Part of me wishes that I didn't know as some of the excitement has gone now. Matt wanted to know (and I didn't) so I'll blame him happily. Still, at least it gives me something to focus on and the opportunity to look at proper themes for the nursery rather than just going neutral like we did last time.

In my last update I told you that I was ill with a sore throat and headache and that Mini Cheddar had been suffering badly with an awful cold and cough. Well, that transferred to me and I've spent a good amount of time in bed over these past couple of weeks feeling truly horrible (hence the lack of blog activity). I still have an awful cough now. Just as I was starting to recover at the end of last week I was hit with a stomach bug (or I ate something that didn't agree with me) and spent another day and a half in bed - and on the loo!

I'm hoping that after 3 weeks of illness I'm finally bug free and can look forward to Christmas - and our yearly December mini holiday up to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks. I'm also hoping to catch up on everyones blogs again!

So, on to other things...

As most of you know I had to have an elective section due to Mini Cheddar being well and truly stuck in the breech position.

The thing is, I'd planned a natural water birth so when I was told this news I was completely crushed. My NCT course covering natural birth (with a brief 10 minute section on caesarean birth) seemed pretty pointless at the time. I spent a good couple of weeks in tears and took to a baby forum where, with help from others in the same situation, I got through it and accepted I was having a c-section.

I turned it into a positive in the end and, as it happened, I had an amazing birth. The caesarean was a lovely experience and one I will cherish.

Shortly after the birth of Mini Cheddar
(eyes and nose puffy from blubbing)
So, now I'm pregnant again and over half way through. I saw my consultant a couple of weeks ago and she gave me a leaflet on having a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). They are recommending I try for a VBAC as I have no real medical reason to request a caesarean but I can push for one if I wish.

The thing is, after being so totally crushed at not being able to go through a natural birth process last time, I always thought I would jump at the chance for a VBAC. But now, faced with the decision I find myself wondering if I really want to try for one. My head is filled with so many questions...

1. What if my scar ruptures?
2. What if I can't get through the natural birth and end up having an emergency caesarean?
3. What if something awful happens?
4. What if, what if, what if?

I know it's just me being silly and worrying but I know so many women who have gone through natural labour only to end up having an emergency caesarean. I don't think I could cope with that after having such a positive first birth experience. The thought of everything spiralling out of control makes me very nervous.

However, it may not come to that...everything could be fine.

If I choose an elective section the thought of having to spend 2 nights in hospital away from Matt and Mini Cheddar after afterwards also fills me with dread. The thought of not being able to pick MC up or do much around the house etc. is not something I would want either.

However, when I had my first caesarean, as it was elective, I had a great recovery. I was driving 2 weeks afterwards and healed really quickly.

I have been told if I go for a VBAC then they will only allow me to go a week overdue and if there are no signs of labour they will go ahead with a caesarean anyway so part of me is thinking I should just go ahead with a section and save all the faffing!

Oh decisions, decisions.

I'm seeing my consultant 21st February 2012 so I have until then to decide. I'm trying not to think about it until after Christmas but it's not going to be easy.


LauraCYMFT said...

Glad to hear you're finally feeling better! Enjoy your mini break to Edinburgh. I love it there (though I may be biased lol) but haven't been in ages. I think there are pros and cons to a c-section. I remember being told I may have to have one with Wee Z because I hadn't dilated any in 6 hours. I was so scared and that must have worked on getting him moving because by the time they came to do the forms I was fully dilated and ready to push. I think so long as the baby arrives healthy and you are all happy then it doesn't matter where they make their exit from!

Mama Syder said...

I know the dilemma you are facing as I had to face it with my 2nd child. I was told with my first baby that my pelvis is too small to ever give birth naturally and that I'd always need a c-section. My Doc with my 2nd child disagreed with this and put me through a trial labour and I ended up needing an emergency C-section. However, lots of Mums do go on the have a natural birth after a C-section Heather...Just go with your gut instinct, you'll make the right choice for you. Always about if you want to chat about it x

Northernmum said...

Oh the joys of labour!

I can only share my experience, I went for a vbac. was surprised by how much it blooming hurt, after 12 hours of me cursing like a solider on leave the baby became distressed and I went into theatre and out popped BB through the sunroof.  All was fine and I was relieved.

I did however exert myself a little post birth, chasing round after two four year olds took its toll and six weeks later my scar did rupture - reality of a ruptured scar is they stiched me and sent me home and all was well - although I rattled from the amount of antibiotics.

This may not sound like a cheery tale but my point is as a mum you merely get on with it and take it in your stride; as long as the baby is fine that is all you will care about post preganancy.  Dont beat yourself up whatever you decide!

Good luck mrs

j x

Mari said...

You know you can sit and worry till the cows come home but the fact is What will be will be. Sadly you cannot plan a damn thing as you just never know and if you manage to get your head around that and let the worrying take care of itself you'll be ready for whatever situation arises. think on the bright side IF you have to have a c sec you know your body is capable of going through it and you have a remarkable recovery speed and with a bit of luck it will be the natural birth you're hoping for.
With a twin birth I had all of those decisions taken out of my hands and just had to get on with what came my way but the end product was all very worth it xxxx

Notmyyearoff said...

You have my sympathies. I had a caesarean with my baby boy and I've no idea what I'll do For my second. Like you I keep thinking mostly about the rupturing and if I got rushed for a second again. I think you have to do what young feel what is right for you. I am leaving towards a planned section because the first was such a close call.

Mummyandthebeastie said...

You have a had a really rough time lately and I really hope you are out of the woods with your bug, out the way for Christmas! I feel EXACTLY the same as you with regards to a c section, I could have written that myself. I will be having an appointment with my consultant at 28 weeks but have yet to hear when this will be. So I will be discussing it then but I think a VBAC is not what I want, just not looking forward to coming up against resistance! xx

SAHMlovingit said...

I have had a bit of a rough time but I'm hoping *crosses fingers and touches wood* that it's all over and done with now. 

The whole section v's VBAC is a toughie for me as I have no real medical reason to have another section. I'm really torn xx

SAHMlovingit said...

My consultant did tell me that in her 12 years of doing her job she's never seen a rupture so that gives me hope. x

SAHMlovingit said...

I know, I know...I do need to stop worrying.  I laugh now at all my plans for my first 'natural' birth that were thrown out of the window. You are so right Mari, what will be will be xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks Jane (although no thanks for the rupture story haha!). I'm just going to see where it takes me....I could end up worrying like mad only to find this little bundle wants to stay breech too! x

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you SO much Mama S. It gives me hope that so many mums do go on to have a natural birth after a section.  I'm going to try and forget about it for now and just enjoy Christmas :) xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Yes, you're right Laura, It doesn't matter....think I'm just going to go with whatever will be will be :) x

alysonsblog said...

You know my feelings about C-Sections especially planned ones - but ironically now I honestly wish I had tried with a VBAC but I just know that I couldnt have done another emergency section no way no how, so I think it depends on how will you are to go with it bearing in mind your reason for an elective with MC might not be there so there is no reason to expect that you 'couldnt' do a VBAC IYKWIM - I dont envy you but there is no need to decide now - take your time with it lovely x

mummydaddyme said...

Heather this sounds like it could have been written by me.  If i was pregnant of course! ;)  But seriously, I had an elective c section for the same reasons as you, as I am sure you know.  When I hopefully have another one I think I will have exactly the same concerns as you- I don't like the thought of the recovery period but at the same time I would be worried about the what if's?  I hope that you come to the decision that is right for you. xx

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