2 weeks of knowing the sex of our baby, it's a strange feeling...one I'm still not really used to. Part of me wishes that I didn't know as some of the excitement has gone now. Matt wanted to know (and I didn't) so I'll blame him happily. Still, at least it gives me something to focus on and the opportunity to look at proper themes for the nursery rather than just going neutral like we did last time.
In my last update I told you that I was ill with a sore throat and headache and that Mini Cheddar had been suffering badly with an awful cold and cough. Well, that transferred to me and I've spent a good amount of time in bed over these past couple of weeks feeling truly horrible (hence the lack of blog activity). I still have an awful cough now. Just as I was starting to recover at the end of last week I was hit with a stomach bug (or I ate something that didn't agree with me) and spent another day and a half in bed - and on the loo!
I'm hoping that after 3 weeks of illness I'm finally bug free and can look forward to Christmas - and our yearly December mini holiday up to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks. I'm also hoping to catch up on everyones blogs again!
So, on to other things...
As most of you know I had to have an elective section due to Mini Cheddar being well and truly stuck in the breech position.
The thing is, I'd planned a natural water birth so when I was told this news I was completely crushed. My NCT course covering natural birth (with a brief 10 minute section on caesarean birth) seemed pretty pointless at the time. I spent a good couple of weeks in tears and took to a baby forum where, with help from others in the same situation, I got through it and accepted I was having a c-section.
I turned it into a positive in the end and, as it happened, I had an amazing birth. The caesarean was a lovely experience and one I will cherish.
|Shortly after the birth of Mini Cheddar|
(eyes and nose puffy from blubbing)
The thing is, after being so totally crushed at not being able to go through a natural birth process last time, I always thought I would jump at the chance for a VBAC. But now, faced with the decision I find myself wondering if I really want to try for one. My head is filled with so many questions...
1. What if my scar ruptures?
2. What if I can't get through the natural birth and end up having an emergency caesarean?
3. What if something awful happens?
4. What if, what if, what if?
I know it's just me being silly and worrying but I know so many women who have gone through natural labour only to end up having an emergency caesarean. I don't think I could cope with that after having such a positive first birth experience. The thought of everything spiralling out of control makes me very nervous.
However, it may not come to that...everything could be fine.
If I choose an elective section the thought of having to spend 2 nights in hospital away from Matt and Mini Cheddar after afterwards also fills me with dread. The thought of not being able to pick MC up or do much around the house etc. is not something I would want either.
However, when I had my first caesarean, as it was elective, I had a great recovery. I was driving 2 weeks afterwards and healed really quickly.
I have been told if I go for a VBAC then they will only allow me to go a week overdue and if there are no signs of labour they will go ahead with a caesarean anyway so part of me is thinking I should just go ahead with a section and save all the faffing!
Oh decisions, decisions.
I'm seeing my consultant 21st February 2012 so I have until then to decide. I'm trying not to think about it until after Christmas but it's not going to be easy.