Sunday, 30 November 2014

#MeAndMine - A Family Portrait (November 2014)

I can't believe it's December tomorrow!

Where is 2014 going?

Life just doesn't seem to get any quieter. I thought I'd have more time to blog with TC starting to go to Play School a couple of times a week now but I don't. I'm desperately wanting to blog about my huge 80's themed 40th Birthday party but haven't gotten to that yet.  I have so much to do before Christmas and I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in.

Last time I blogged was about TC struggling to settle in to Play School but thankfully that all seems to be working out well now. He goes in without fuss now. I know he'd prefer to be at home or out with Mummy but he reluctantly accepts his time there and talks about all the fun he's had when I pick him up. I've noticed he's becoming more confident and less reliant on my apron strings so it's all a step in the right direction.

I was busy this month organising a charity event for The Lullaby Trust in memory of Matilda Mae. That consumed the vast majority of my time and, with the help of a few fellow bloggers, we managed to raise over £550 which will be doubled to over £1100 for the charity - it's more than I could've hoped for.

I between all the other stuff I've been doing I'm taking the children to private swimming lessons now. TC on a Wednesday and MC on a Saturday. The other Saturday we all decided to go and watch MC but we arrived early. Now, I'm always messing around with selfies of the children so I thought it would be nice to take some of us all. It wasn't my attention to use them for my Me and Mine post - they were for my '23 Snaps' app on my phone where I just share photos of the children with immediate family - but the series I took has made me laugh so much that I want to document them.

MC is a little madam and always like to be the centre of the shot…often to the detriment of her little brother…









Poor TC!
dear beautiful


Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Mummy's Boy! My fault?

Tiny Ched is my youngest.

My boy.

My baby.

My last.

Maybe it's my fault he's the way he is?

Maybe because I know I'm not having any more babies I've somehow made him more clingy.

He's a mummy's boy through and through.

"Want mummy to dress me!"

"Want Mummy to come!"

"Want Mummy to sit there!"

"Want mummy!"

"WANT MUMMY!"

"WANT MUMMY!"

It's both lovely and exhausting in equal measures.

Maybe it's a boy thing?

Maybe they are more dependent on their mothers?

MC was never like this.

Sure, she used to want me a lot but she was never this bad. She certainly never used to have to be physically peeled off me at the doorstep of play school.

Yes, TC has started going to play school. The same one that MC attended a few years back. The same women run it and I know how great it is there. The gender split is somewhat skewed there though.

"I think there was a 'boy boom' around here two years ago" they said to me as they signed him up before half term. "We have 18 children and only 4 of them are girls".

I think this could be where some of the problem lies. I'm not sure. TC is used to more female biased company. He spends a considerable amount of time with me and with MC. Also, he's certainly never been thrust into a situation where he's surrounded by 13 other boys - a couple of them boisterous at that.

Yesterday was only his 4th time at play school and I realise it's very early days but it was a particularly heart wrenching morning at the drop off. He started before we've even got out of the house...

"Don't want to go play school!"

Refusal to put his shoes and coat on.

"Want mummy come!"

Refusal to get in the car.

"Want mummy come to play school!"

Outside the gate he's sobbing. Not screaming or kicking. Just loud heart wrenching sobs and tugging at me to walk him away from the door.

The door opens.

The delivery of my boy is quick.

Like ripping a plaster off.

"It's the best way" they tell me.

As he's peeled from my arms he turns to me. Snot and tears fill his tiny face and he shouts "MUMMY!" with a look of terror one last time before they take him inside and I walk away.

I keep walking to the car.

I don't look back.

Snot and tears begin to fill my face.

I feel like the worst mother in the world.

I remember MC had a few wobbly moments. Half an hour later I would get a text message from play school to say she was fine. Sometimes they'd even send me a photo of her playing happily.

Not this time though.

They never text me about TC.

Because they know, and I know, he's not fine.

Through each session he doesn't want to join in. He doesn't want to play. He doesn't want to listen to stories. He doesn't want to have a drink or snack. He just stands there completely out of his depth silently sobbing occasionally.

Maybe it's my fault?

Maybe it is something I've done as a stay-at-home mum?

Maybe it's just a phase?

Maybe he'll grow out of it?

I really don't know.

What I do know though, is that having a mummy's boy is messing with my heart. On the one hand I want him to be independent but on the other I love the fact he wants me and I never want to let him go.

My boy.

My baby.

My last.




Friday, 31 October 2014

#MeAndMine - A Family Portrait (October 2014)

What a month it's been!

I turned 40 on October 12th and I have loved it.

I've embraced being a decade older as my 30's have been so much better than my 20's ever were. I am now married to the most wonderful man and we have two amazing children. I'm blessed with amazing family and friends - some I've known almost all my life now who I love dearly and some who I've met through work before children and some I even met online in the last few years. We now live in our dream house in the best neighbourhood ever and I've made some really close friends from my neighbours - people I can always rely on.

Not only that but this year I did something completely out of my comfort zone. Something I never ever thought I would do and I have the photographs to prove it.  I even took the big decision to blog about the photo shoot. It was incredible and I still feel amazing when I think about it.

My actual 40th birthday fell on a Sunday and so it was a fairly laid back day where we invited family and my best friend of 33 years out for a special lunch. I was spoilt rotten with amazing cards and gifts and I felt so blessed.

Then, for the 'mad' half of my 40th birthday we held an 80's themed party at the house for close friends and neighbours. It was an amazing night and I really can't wait to blog all about it...now I've just about got over my hangover!

Matt and I are still closer than we have ever been and he's also now sporting a stubbly beard look which I think really suits him.

After the chaos of my birthday we were looking forward to some family time last weekend. We spent a lovely Sunday morning at a local country park where we walked, talked, played, kisses, played Pooh sticks, jumped in muddy puddles, collected leaves and basically just enjoyed the outdoors. We followed it with a lovely Sunday lunch at a nearby pub.

It was perfect.

I thought it would be nice to set my 'big' camera up on a rock whilst we were out and take a self-timer photo of us all.

TC wasn't for coming out of the mud to pose for a photo and so we captured this…



When I looked at the photo on the back of the camera I laughed so much that I knew I didn't need to capture another one. 

TC is two and half now and I think it sums up his ever growing defiance perfectly!

And here are some of the photos I captured on my iPhone that day - it was a fairly inexpensive day but it is one that I will remember for a long time.










dear beautiful


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