Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Slimy Little F**ker

It's not often I swear in real life. It's not often I swear on my blog. Although I find myself writing that more often so maybe I'm in denial? 

Anyway, I need to swear. We've had an unwelcome visitor in our house over the last week or so.

A big fat slug.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. A slug.

Not just in the house. In the bloody kitchen!

Turning to my good friend Google, I found myself typing 'slugs in kitchen' into the search box and discovered it's a common occurrence to get slugs coming into your house. They wander in through air bricks or vents and decide to stay like disgusting gelatinous squatters.

I have been gagging at the thought of it. I say 'thought' because we weren't able to clap eyes on the slimy little fucker for over a week. We would just come down in the morning to its gross slimy trails all over the laminate floor. 

Now, there are numerous ways to evacuate the blighters from your home. There's the common 'salting' method. Anyone who's thrown salt at a slug will know the grossness that ensues - a fizzing brown mass of slug and guts. Just what I wanted in my kitchen. There are slug pellets that you can buy but again, I didn't like the idea of a big slug feasting on poison then sliming away to die under my washing machine or something. You can use human hair - apparently they get caught up in in. Although I'm in that post-pregnancy state of moulting (think a husky dog in Spring and you get the gist) and have enough hair spare to make Duncan Goodhew a weeks worth of wigs, I didn't fancy coating my kitchen in hair. So, we opted for beer. Slugs love it - apparently. They are supposedly attracted to the yeast in it and will fall into a pint after getting off their slimy faces.

At this point I have to say that Matt and I aren't really big drinkers. Matt moreso than me - I like the odd bottle *ahem* glass of wine. Not wanting to go off to the off-licence to buy the mini Jabba-The-Hutt some quality beer Matt said he thought he had some in the garage and appeared with a couple of bottles of Budweiser....dated best before June 2011. "It'll do" he assured me. So that night we poured the beer out into some disposable cups and set them out on the kitchen floor then went off to bed.

The next morning I was expecting to open the kitchen door and find a drunk, totally wasted slug floating in the makeshift booze bait. But no, they were empty. No sign of the slug. Then, out of the corner of my eye I noticed something on the kitchen wall. It wasn't the the remains of what appeared to be a slug party on the paintwork. The slimy little fucker had only gone on a rampage all over one of the walls! It was if it had sniffed the stale beer and thought "Those bastards can't even afford decent beer. I'll show them how much I like a good party". The trails went swirling around the wall and he/she (slugs have both reproductive organs apparently - just call me a slug expert) had even slimed our beloved framed San Francisco prints. I swear it was trying to spell out 'LOSERS'.

Plasticine reconstruction - no, the slug wasn't blue
(didn't want to gross you guys out with a picture)
So, the next night (after scrubbing the walls with antibac) we set the alarm for 3am - not a decision any parents of 2 small children takes lightly - but it was if Tiny Ched knew we had declared a slug war and he started to stir at 2.30am and woke me up anyway. I settled TC back to sleep and armed with my phone torch and an old plastic takeaway container I made my way to the kitchen and there sliming nonchalantly across the floor was Mr/Mrs Slug. He was a biggun'. 

Trying not to throw up, I had to bash the slug with the container several times to unstick it from the laminate and then using the lid I scooped it into the container and pressed the lid down.

Job done I left the container on the floor, washed my hands and headed back to bed.

Matt woke up. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"I caught the slug. It was massive."

"Great" He replied a little less enthusiastic than I would have liked but I let him off as it was 3am. "Did you put it outside?".

"No, it's in the container on the kitchen floor. We can get rid of it tomorrow".

Then my mind started racing. Imaging the giant slime ball forcing it's way out of the container like a slug Houdini and going on a rampage on my kitchen worktops, flicking the v's with its tentacles. So, after about 30 minutes of wrestling with my thoughts I ran back downstairs and wrapped the container with tape.

So, we are officially slug free.

Let's hope the slimy little fucker hasn't had any babies.


Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Bump, Birth & Beyond - The Britmums Carnival Is Here!

I didn't really have a firm theme in mind when I signed up to host the Britmums Carnival sometime last year and a lot has changed since then.

Just these last 5 months I've gone from this:

To this:

And I couldn't be happier.

So what better theme to host on my blog than 'Pregnancy and Birth'. Although it's a theme the rules, as always, are pretty relaxed so grab a cuppa, sit down, relax (if possible) and enjoy these amazing blogs that I've brought together for your enjoyment...

First up is Mum On The Brink who takes us on the roller coaster ride of the recent birth of her beautiful baby she managed to tweet through it all I will never know. Respect!

Trying to conceive a child can be a stressful and lonely time sometimes so it's lovely to hear Gillian from A Baby On Board talk openly about fertility problems and then finding out she was pregnant. I'm sure it will give many couples some much needed hope.

Emma who writes over at They Grow So Quick explains the good, the bad and the ugly about being pregnant. I can certainly sympathise with a couple of things - especially the heartburn. She also shares the birth story of her son which didn't go quite to plan.

Next up is a controversial (but I do have to agree) view of the NCT and their promotion of 'natural birth' in Actually Mummy's super birth story.

Rachel from Three Years & Home shares her sheer and utter disbelief when she found out she was 4 weeks pregnant. I think anyone who's peed on a stick can related to this one!

Maggy from Red Ted Art wants pregnant ladies to relax with these lovely lavender bath sachets. Then, after your bath, why not eat some scrummy healthy blackberry tartlets which she has blogged about on her other blog, Life At The Zoo.

Missy B was pregnant at the same time as me so we followed each others ups and downs. Here she shares the birth story of her beautiful daughter who arrived with one contraction! Yes, I repeat, one contraction!

Right, sound the trumpets because our first 'BritDad', Daddacool would like to share his birth story - the birth of the baby he almost missed. Please note, no speeding was involved during the race to the hospital.

Mum Reinvented also managed to tweet her way through labour and managed to make two tiramasus and a buffet lunch. Read the first part of her birth story and you'll be hungry to read the second part too!

Want to see someone looking utterly gorgeous post-birth after delivering twins by c-section? Then check out Marianne from Mari's World and her fabulous birth story of her beautiful twin girls.

Diane from Bringing Up The Babies shares her previous birth experiences and compares these to the home birth she chose to have with her fourth child. It's a really great post for anyone contemplating a home birth experience.

Now, Katie from Mummy, Daddy and Me Makes Three may have to change the title of her blog soon with this absolutely gorgeous announcement that will melt your heart! Check out the cute video.

A great one from the archives now from Simon who blogs at From Rat Racer to Homeworking Parent. She explains how even on maternity leave she couldn't rest so decided to volunteer.

Emma from Outmumbered shares with us the first moments of her two sons lives and how different they were. She also bares it all for us with her post-pregnancy belly acceptance and how much it doesn't matter. Hear hear!

This post from SouthwarkBelle is one I can really relate to. That big question that faces mums who've previously had a caesarean section...VBAC or repeat section? Perhaps those of you who've been there can offer some support?

Mamabmumto3 shares her wonderful birth story of Elena Grace and empowers women to trust their maternal instincts. She also has the most amazing photos.

Laura from Mumories has blogged about the condition Hyperemesis which will causes problems for around 1 in 50 pregnant mothers. If ever you feel like complaining about the usual morning sickness - just read this. I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be.

Not My Year Off talks about naming our children and how possessive we can feel over names. There's also usually some 'horrible cow' ready to spoil our special moment!

Zoe from Mama Geek has some exciting news for everyone! Her and her husband are so thrilled but it seems their daughter is more captivated by the local hospital gnome garden.

Over at Dear Beautiful Boy, Lucy shares those niggling thoughts that all mothers who are expecting their second child goes through I think. I know I did. This is a really powerful post.

Emma from Me, The Man & The Baby writes an amazingly honest post about how tough her recent pregnancy was and explains why she had a mental health midwife. Big love going out to her.

Want to now how it feels to give birth in France? Franglaise Mummy shares her super birth story from over the other side of the channel.

Most of us have felt pressure at some point during pregnancy and birth and sadly, a lot of the time, it appears to surround breastfeeding. Jo's Nursery shares her breastfeeding experience and how she tried her best but her experience hasn't put her off trying again in future.

Carolin from Mummy Alarm takes a break from writing and hands her blog over to her other half Ben who relives the birth of their daughter Amy through his words.

Munchies and Munchkins asks that well-known question - How do you learn to be a parent? I think we've all experienced the motherhood education journey.

Know how giving birth to one baby feels? Well try two! Crazy With Twins shares her gory birth story with us. She's now officially my hero.

Bex from The Mummy Adventure is another one with some exciting news - check out her recent Silent Sunday photo and share with your congratulations with her.

Another amazing home birth story shared here by Emma from 4 Munchkins Plus Mummy but this time with added cleaning and vacuuming! I kid you not.

Want to go on a 16 year journey? Sonya from The Ramblings of a Formerly Rock'n'Roll Mum looks back on the birth of her 16 year old daughter and shares a truly beautiful verse with us too.

Now prepare yourself with some tissues - this birth post of baby Holly from Becky over at The Ar-Blog made me blub. The photos are truly amazing.

Sound the trumpets again - we have another 'BritDad' onboard from Baby-A blog. Here we have a great Dads perspective of the pregnancy journey and beyond . I think every new Dad will be able to relate to this. We also have another post from Baby-A blog which is a must for anyone thinking of having a water birth.

Keep the trumpets going for our third and final 'BritDad'. James Newhouse describes what exactly it feels like to be a Dad in the delivery room with not a dinosaur or sabre-toothed tiger in sight!

The Real Housewife of Suffolk County, Lauren, is wondering when the waiting game of pregnancy will be up and she will have her little baby boy with her. We've all been there with anxiousness in some shape or form.

Last, but by no means least, is a collection of posts which can be found over at This Baby Likes... which is a collaborative blog from mums and babies under one year old sharing ideas, development and products they love.

So, there we have it. An incredible carnival I think you'll agree. I've loved reading through each and every one of these posts and I hope you do to. I've found some great new reads too!

Thank you to everyone who sent me a post.*

*If you tweeted me, rather than emailed me, there's a chance your tweet could have been lost by Twitter as one I knew I'd read had gone missing but I did remember it (who says I have baby brain!) Please let me know if you should be here and you aren't.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Teething Trouble

You know I blogged the other night about TC and his sleep? Well, seems I should have kept my mouth firmly shut again.

It's at times like this I wish babies were born with a full set of teeth.

I think after 2 or 3 years I had managed to block out the full horror of teething.

The whinging. The crying. The screaming.

Blocked it out like a bad dream. Or a nightmare. But no, it wasn't a nightmare. It was a reality.

And it's back!

Yes, my lovely little happy chappy is starting to cut his first tooth. He's only just (a month or so ago) managed to cope with his new digestive system and that pesky menace known as wind. Now he has another demon to cope with. Bloody teeth.

He's still happy enough but then occasionally the pain will come and he looks at me and screams in horror. Tired and hungry cries I can cope with but the cry of pain cuts right through me. All I can do is be there for him with cuddles, teethers, powders and Anbesol liquid. I know it's only going to get a lot worse.

TC chewing on Sophie La Girafe
Have some of that Sophie, you squeaky bitch!
Thankfully it's not making him cry at night but it is disturbing his peaceful sleep patterns a little so he will fidget and wake us up.  But I know it won't be long. Won't be long before his sleep will become more unsettled until that first little white invader pokes its head through his gum.

Of course, the first major disturbance of his sleep happened the night I blogged about what a great sleeper he was. Then I had to go and face a Baby Sensory class the next morning bleary-eyed. What did TC do half way through the class? He fell asleep, naturally.

Anyway, Sophie La Girafe is taking a bit of a hammering. The squeak is driving me a little nuts. I was kind of hoping he'd chew it that much that the squeak would dislodge within a matter of minutes - that's what used to happen when our old dog Betty got her gnashers on a new squeaky toy.

He's exclusively breastfed still and a few days ago he bit me. Not once, not twice, but 3 times. Yes 3!

It hurt.

A lot.

I screamed.

He screamed.

He hasn't done it since. Now when he gets a pain when he's feeding he turns his head and bites my arm. Needless to say my arm has become a massive source of comfort for him.

At least my arm doesn't squeak.

Every cloud...

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

The Perfect Sleep Thanks To The Little Green Sheep

I honestly don't know where the time is going at the moment. My days are a blur but most days I'm struggling to think of what I've actually achieved. My blog keeps getting neglected, although I do try to post at least once a week and try to read as many posts as I can but it's so hard sometimes.

I can't even say it's because I have a (fairly) new baby. Yes, he demands a certain amount of attention but he's pretty chilled and I'm also getting a decent amount of sleep.

Yes sleep.

The holy grail of motherhood.

The thing (or lack of) that turned me into a zombie during those first few months with Mini Cheddar.

Thankfully Tiny Ched is such a contented little boy and he loves his sleep. Babies love feeling secure and snug at night time and he's no exception, which is why we were delighted to try out a gorgeous organic plush sleeping bag from The Little Green Sheep. I was immediately drawn to the company as they are so eco-friendly and also donate 5% of their profits to charity too. As a charity volunteer myself, this is a really important standout from other companies.

LIttle Green Sheep Organic Sleeping Bag Interior
Gorgeous soft organic plush lining
I used sleeping bags with MC and they were great but this sleeping bag is just so lovely. It's superb quality and made from 100% certified organic cotton and lined with a gorgeously soft plush inside - 2 tog equivalent - which is perfect for all year round. It's more expensive (they start at £25.95 for the flannelette bags and £35.95 for the plush bags) than sleeping bags I've previously owned but it's definitely worth the extra expense.

The zip on the bag starts up the top so this means you can easily access baby's bottom for those pesky night changes and also keeps the zip tag away from the baby.

The Little Green Sheep provide a wide range of natural quality products which help promote natural sleep for your baby. These range from natural baby toiletries right up to mattresses and furniture. They even do a lovely range of gifts.

We were also sent an organic wash mitt too which is really soft and practical. TC has lots of cute baby folds and the mitt it perfect for getting them clean. Definitely better than any baby sponges or flannels.

So, it's a big thumbs up for The Little Green Sheep from mummy and it's a definite thumbs up (not that he can do that yet) from this little man...

TC all snug and cozy sleeping in his new Green Sheep organic sleeping bag
TC loving his new organic sleeping bag

I know I'm biased but he's just gorgeous...can't believe he'll be 20 weeks tomorrow!

This is not a sponsored post.  
We were sent an organic plush sleeping bag and wash mitt 
to review but all photographs, words, views and opinions are my own.

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

A Mini Cheddar A Day Keeps The Bad Feelings Away

I talked not so long ago about how I feel time slipping away from me and how I've had some times where I've felt everything getting on top of me*

Even on the most rubbish of days, Mini Cheddar has this unique ability to make me smile and laugh (apart from when she's possessed that is).

I haven't done one of these posts for probably over 6 months. I feel bad about that as I know I will have missed out lots of gems that have come from Mini Cheddar's mouth but here are the ones I can recall...

MC: "Mummy, where did you go?"
Me: "I went next door to see Sandra"
MC: "SANTA? But Santa doesn't live next door. He lives in the North Pole!"

MC: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes darling?
MC: When you go to work will you see Darth?
Daddy: Who? What?
MC: Darth! Darth Vader?
Daddy: No, why would I see Darth Vader?
MC: But Mummy said you were going to Darth to work
Daddy: DARTFORD sweetie, I'm going to D-A-R-T-F-O-R-D

(whilst waiting in line to meet Winnie The Pooh on holiday at EPCOT in Florida)
Cast Member: I'm sorry but Pooh is just going to take a 2 minute break but you're next to meet him.
MC: Has he gone for a poo?

(whilst bathing TC she points at his willy)
MC: Mummy! His willy looks like an elephants trunk!

(whilst in a public toilet with my Mum)
MC: My baby brother has a willy
Grandma: Really?
MC: Yes, he has a small willy and Daddy has a BIG willy!

(whilst on the sofa with my husband)
MC: Daddy, I'm going to have to get back is killing me.

(in a cafe)
Waitress: Can I take your order?
MC: Yes please, I'll have a cheese sandwich and a glass of milk
Waitress: Large or small milk?
MC: Small please
(waitress turns to me)
MC: My mummy has milk in her boobies!

(whilst looking at a photo of a man in a kilt, MC points at his sporran)
MC: Look mummy! He's got a pet hamster!

MC: Mummy? I want to get married
Me: I think you're a little bit young sweetie
MC: No I'm not! I'm 3!
Me: Well who would you like to marry?
MC: Daddy

*That was all brought into perspective last week by the news that a lovely blogger friend Kerry is seriously ill in a coma. There hasn't been a day since I found out that I've not spent a lot of time thinking about her and hoping she pulls through. I was lucky enough to become very friendly with her in our blogging early days and then had the pleasure of spending some time with her at Cybermummy last year. She's such a wonderful person. I'm not a religious person but even I've said a prayer or two for her recovery.


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