The Emotional Hangover - #BritMumsLive

It's Sunday 23rd June as I start to write this and I have an unbelievable hangover.

I didn't even drink last night.

I have an emotional hangover.

Yes, I spent Friday and Saturday at BritMums Live in London.

I'm sat here in a daze, trying to find the right words to sum up what I've just experienced.

Overwhelming, crazy, amazing, inspiring, happy, sad, whirlwind are just a few that spring immediately to mind.

There's one word that would stand out from them all though.

Friends.

When I started blogging 2.5 years ago I had no idea of the emotional journey my blog would send me off on. I had no idea just how much sheer joy and also sadness it would bring into my life. But I also had no idea just what amazing friends it would help me find.

Like minded people with a passion for sharing their stories.

Stories from the heart. Stories of love. Stories of tragedy. Stories that make you wish you were wearing Tena Lady!

Each and every one of us has our own stories to tell and the last 2 days have brought together some of the best storytellers around.

I can't begin to tell you how many people I admire that I saw again or met for the first time this weekend. I can't possibly name everyone so I apologise for that. I can only name a few or this post would go on forever. But, if we met and shared a hug (or many hugs like the very lovely Lauren), a smile or a natter, know that you are included in this post.

Firstly, I have to show huge love to my gorgeous friend Heather (aka @photopuddle who blogs at the lovely It's All About The Photos).

13th March 2012, just 15 days before I had TC, an email dropped in my inbox. Heather and I had been chatting on our blogs and Twitter for a while and getting to know each other but then she emailed me out of the blue. 107 lengthy emails later... (I work that out at over 1.5 emails a week average), sharing tales of our similar aged families, our hopes, our dreams and our secrets...we finally met on Friday morning at Euston Station.

It felt like we already knew each other. As someone who met her husband online just under 10 years ago I know just how great a bond made over the Internet can be.

Heather and I spent pretty much the whole weekend together and I enjoyed her company a lot (I just hope she felt the same!). We also treated ourselves to rooms at a gorgeous hotel only a stones throw from The Brewery.

Saying goodbye to her on Saturday evening was strange. Knowing that she lives so far from me (about 250 miles) is quite gutting. We have a girl and a boy both of very similar ages and living closer would mean the kids would probably be friends too. I'm hoping we can see each other as often as we possibly can though.

There were incredible friends I'd already met quite a few times this year. Susanne (@ghostwritermumm) and Lisa (@hollybobs). The 3 of us will always be good friends, I know we will. I don't need to tell you all just how much I think of them - they know. Susanne and I will also always have that bond as we shared our journey and our tears at Matilda Mae's funeral.

Matilda Mae.

A name that will be forever on my lips, in my head and in my heart.

Her mummy. Jennie (@Edspire). Someone I'm truly honoured to call a friend. She is, quite possibly, the most loveliest, kind hearted, honest and most inspiring person you could meet. It was so lovely to wrap my arms around her again this weekend.

7th March was the last time I had hugged Jennie. It was at Tilda's funeral. Susanne and I had read on behalf of the blogging community at the funeral and this time we had been asked to read Merry's words again.

At BritMums Live!

In front of a huge conference room full of extremely talented women (and men). Far more talented than me.

On stage.

Hot glaring lights dazzling our eyes.

I'd been emotional from the moment I woke up on Saturday (just ask Heather). I'd not been able to sleep the night before (despite the gorgeous hotel and comfortable bed) which only made everything worse. Listening to words read by the amazingly inspiring Katie Piper that morning sent me over the edge and I lost control.

At various points during the day I gave into the overriding emotion of it all.

Susanne and I got through speaking though. Holding hands. Just like we'd done at Tilda's funeral.

Somehow I did it even though I was completely terrified and emotional. I found it so much harder than I did at the funeral. The funeral was intimate, it was close family and friends of Jennie's. It seemed easier, although that seems like the wrong word to use.

With thanks to the wonderful My Two Mums for
capturing this moment for Susanne and I

This was more out there. More open. More people. More expectation. It was also being streamed over the Internet and I knew Merry and others would be watching us. Reading someone else's words, especially when they are watching, is hard. Really hard.

My heart, like everyone else's, aches for the loss that Jennie has had to go through. I didn't know how I was going to stand strong enough to read about it again.

I faltered a few times.

Fighting back tears.

Susanne grabbed my hand.

Then I could hold my tears back no longer.

I cracked.

But I finished my piece.

Although a lot redder and snottier than I'd started! I'm so glad we'd taken tissues up with us.

I can't really remember walking off the stage. I do remember I walked off still clutching hands with Susanne. I can't remember any clapping. I don't even know what Katy Hill (who was utterly amazing!) said when she came back on the stage. I just remember seeing Jennie's face and hugging her tightly.

The amazing keynotes continued and then came more emotional outpouring as we all joined together to remember Kerry who passed away at the end of last year. Kerry is another blogger friend I'd had the pleasure of meeting and the memory of her gorgeousness will stay with me forever.

I don't think there was a dry eye in the house throughout the whole evening.

It was all so powerful.

So emotional.

So real.

I ended it all with this tweet

Because I do.

I'm Going To BritMums Live!

You know me? Always late to the party, especially recently.

In fairness though, this linky made an appearance a couple of day before my extended holiday and, what with drowning in boxes since my return 11 days ago, I'm just glad I'm able to get this up 4 days before the event.

Yes, I'm going to BritMums Live!

Yaye!

I booked the ticket when they first came available. In hindsight, had I known I would be going to Orlando for over 3 weeks and moving house at the same time, I probably wouldn't have signed up.

But I'm so glad I did!

It's going to be stressful and I'll probably be completely knackered (I'll be the one snoozing in the corner), I haven't even glanced at the agenda yet but I can't wait to wrap my arms around some old friends and meet some new ones. There are people going that I have known for over 2 years in the online world who I class as 'friends' but I've never actually met in person. How mad is that?

Anyway, enough ramble. Here goes with the linky...

Name: Heather

Blog: SAHM Loving It

Twitter ID: @sahmlovingit

Height: Just under 5ft 6" (the good thing about moving house is there's a tape measure to hand!)

Hair: Longish - highlighted. Probably with roots as I won't have time to get to the hairdresser.

Eyes: Two. Brown.

Is this your first blogging conference?
No, but it may as well be as I didn't attend any last year so it's 2 years since my last one.

Are you attending both days?
Most definitely - the more days I can avoid packing boxes, the better.

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live?
Giving very special people very special hugs. I'm also looking forward to staying in a luxury boutique hotel with my lovely friend Photopuddle (we both deserve a treat) and I'm looking forward to meeting her - although it seems like we know each other inside out pretty much. We have separate rooms but will probably be in and out of each others. I may take some wine to calm our nerves before the conference.

What are you wearing?
Clothes. Whatever hasn't been packed for the move!

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live?
Apart from meeting old and new friends, I'm hoping to reignite the spark I had for my blog sometime ago. The two of us have become quite distanced from each other in the last 6-12 months.

Tell us one thing about you that not everyone knows
That's a toughie as I think I've blurted out lots of secrets on this blog. Erm, ooh I know...I can't stand it if there's a plug socket with no plug in it but the switch is on. It makes me twitchy.

Bump, Birth & Beyond - The Britmums Carnival Is Here!

I didn't really have a firm theme in mind when I signed up to host the Britmums Carnival sometime last year and a lot has changed since then.

Just these last 5 months I've gone from this:

To this:

And I couldn't be happier.

So what better theme to host on my blog than 'Pregnancy and Birth'. Although it's a theme the rules, as always, are pretty relaxed so grab a cuppa, sit down, relax (if possible) and enjoy these amazing blogs that I've brought together for your enjoyment...



First up is Mum On The Brink who takes us on the roller coaster ride of the recent birth of her beautiful baby boy...how she managed to tweet through it all I will never know. Respect!

Trying to conceive a child can be a stressful and lonely time sometimes so it's lovely to hear Gillian from A Baby On Board talk openly about fertility problems and then finding out she was pregnant. I'm sure it will give many couples some much needed hope.

Emma who writes over at They Grow So Quick explains the good, the bad and the ugly about being pregnant. I can certainly sympathise with a couple of things - especially the heartburn. She also shares the birth story of her son which didn't go quite to plan.

Next up is a controversial (but I do have to agree) view of the NCT and their promotion of 'natural birth' in Actually Mummy's super birth story.

Rachel from Three Years & Home shares her sheer and utter disbelief when she found out she was 4 weeks pregnant. I think anyone who's peed on a stick can related to this one!

Maggy from Red Ted Art wants pregnant ladies to relax with these lovely lavender bath sachets. Then, after your bath, why not eat some scrummy healthy blackberry tartlets which she has blogged about on her other blog, Life At The Zoo.

Missy B was pregnant at the same time as me so we followed each others ups and downs. Here she shares the birth story of her beautiful daughter who arrived with one contraction! Yes, I repeat, one contraction!

Right, sound the trumpets because our first 'BritDad', Daddacool would like to share his birth story - the birth of the baby he almost missed. Please note, no speeding was involved during the race to the hospital.

Mum Reinvented also managed to tweet her way through labour and managed to make two tiramasus and a buffet lunch. Read the first part of her birth story and you'll be hungry to read the second part too!

Want to see someone looking utterly gorgeous post-birth after delivering twins by c-section? Then check out Marianne from Mari's World and her fabulous birth story of her beautiful twin girls.

Diane from Bringing Up The Babies shares her previous birth experiences and compares these to the home birth she chose to have with her fourth child. It's a really great post for anyone contemplating a home birth experience.

Now, Katie from Mummy, Daddy and Me Makes Three may have to change the title of her blog soon with this absolutely gorgeous announcement that will melt your heart! Check out the cute video.

A great one from the archives now from Simon who blogs at From Rat Racer to Homeworking Parent. She explains how even on maternity leave she couldn't rest so decided to volunteer.

Emma from Outmumbered shares with us the first moments of her two sons lives and how different they were. She also bares it all for us with her post-pregnancy belly acceptance and how much it doesn't matter. Hear hear!

This post from SouthwarkBelle is one I can really relate to. That big question that faces mums who've previously had a caesarean section...VBAC or repeat section? Perhaps those of you who've been there can offer some support?

Mamabmumto3 shares her wonderful birth story of Elena Grace and empowers women to trust their maternal instincts. She also has the most amazing photos.

Laura from Mumories has blogged about the condition Hyperemesis which will causes problems for around 1 in 50 pregnant mothers. If ever you feel like complaining about the usual morning sickness - just read this. I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be.

Not My Year Off talks about naming our children and how possessive we can feel over names. There's also usually some 'horrible cow' ready to spoil our special moment!

Zoe from Mama Geek has some exciting news for everyone! Her and her husband are so thrilled but it seems their daughter is more captivated by the local hospital gnome garden.

Over at Dear Beautiful Boy, Lucy shares those niggling thoughts that all mothers who are expecting their second child goes through I think. I know I did. This is a really powerful post.

Emma from Me, The Man & The Baby writes an amazingly honest post about how tough her recent pregnancy was and explains why she had a mental health midwife. Big love going out to her.

Want to now how it feels to give birth in France? Franglaise Mummy shares her super birth story from over the other side of the channel.

Most of us have felt pressure at some point during pregnancy and birth and sadly, a lot of the time, it appears to surround breastfeeding. Jo's Nursery shares her breastfeeding experience and how she tried her best but her experience hasn't put her off trying again in future.

Carolin from Mummy Alarm takes a break from writing and hands her blog over to her other half Ben who relives the birth of their daughter Amy through his words.

Munchies and Munchkins asks that well-known question - How do you learn to be a parent? I think we've all experienced the motherhood education journey.

Know how giving birth to one baby feels? Well try two! Crazy With Twins shares her gory birth story with us. She's now officially my hero.

Bex from The Mummy Adventure is another one with some exciting news - check out her recent Silent Sunday photo and share with your congratulations with her.

Another amazing home birth story shared here by Emma from 4 Munchkins Plus Mummy but this time with added cleaning and vacuuming! I kid you not.

Want to go on a 16 year journey? Sonya from The Ramblings of a Formerly Rock'n'Roll Mum looks back on the birth of her 16 year old daughter and shares a truly beautiful verse with us too.

Now prepare yourself with some tissues - this birth post of baby Holly from Becky over at The Ar-Blog made me blub. The photos are truly amazing.

Sound the trumpets again - we have another 'BritDad' onboard from Baby-A blog. Here we have a great Dads perspective of the pregnancy journey and beyond . I think every new Dad will be able to relate to this. We also have another post from Baby-A blog which is a must for anyone thinking of having a water birth.

Keep the trumpets going for our third and final 'BritDad'. James Newhouse describes what exactly it feels like to be a Dad in the delivery room with not a dinosaur or sabre-toothed tiger in sight!

The Real Housewife of Suffolk County, Lauren, is wondering when the waiting game of pregnancy will be up and she will have her little baby boy with her. We've all been there with anxiousness in some shape or form.

Last, but by no means least, is a collection of posts which can be found over at This Baby Likes... which is a collaborative blog from mums and babies under one year old sharing ideas, development and products they love.



So, there we have it. An incredible carnival I think you'll agree. I've loved reading through each and every one of these posts and I hope you do to. I've found some great new reads too!

Thank you to everyone who sent me a post.*



*If you tweeted me, rather than emailed me, there's a chance your tweet could have been lost by Twitter as one I knew I'd read had gone missing but I did remember it (who says I have baby brain!) Please let me know if you should be here and you aren't.