2nd May - Tilda's Day

It's just a date, right?

Well, yes it is, of course.

But this is a date that will be in many people's hearts and minds for the rest of their lives.

A date when an amazing mother and father should have been celebrating the 1st birthday of their beautiful baby girl, Matilda Mae.

It's not right.

It's not fair.

I've been struggling all week. Not knowing what to write. My heart is heavy and my mind can't concentrate.

I have a book that I write in each day that my best friend bought me. It's a five year book that asks a question each day, so you can compare your answers over 5 years. A couple of weeks back the words read something like "I wish I could stop ____________ from happening".

I wrote 'cot death'.

I don't think my answer will change, even by 2018.

As I look at Tiny Ched, I think of Tilda and everything she should be. Everything that Jennie and David have lost.

2nd May will be a date, just like 2nd February and 7th March that will live with me forever.

Pink angel slices for a sweet angel

I've made plans for today. Plans to celebrate Matilda's short life and honour her birthday in some small way. I'm meeting Susanne and Lisa with our children for a picnic in the park. We are meeting where we will be walking a mile in memory of Matilda in less than two weeks.

We are going to blow bubbles and enjoy pink treats. I'm also dressing myself and the kids in pink and purple.

There will be lots of tears (I have invested in a multipack of tissues) but there will be happiness too. Susanne and I have a unique bond from our journey to Tilda's funeral and back and I know, when I see her tomorrow, all those memories will come flooding back.

We will, as we have done everyday, think of David, Jennie and Matilda Mae.

Then tonight, as the sun sets on 2nd May, I will be lighting a candle for Matilda as her parents say goodbye to their precious little girl in a way that Jennie describes so beautifully.

It's something no parent should have to do and I hope they somehow find the strength to get through it.

It's not just a date. It's a remembrance and a celebration.

Of a short life.

Of a life of love and beauty.

It's also a time to reflect.

Of what could have been.

Of what should have been.

2nd May.

A date that will never be forgotten.

Tilda's day.

Happy 1st Birthday in the sky sweet angel xx

I've blogged before about an auction taking place in memory of Matilda Mae. This auction will be running from 11th May - 20th May 2013 with all proceeds going to The Lullaby Trust (formerly FSID).  They help support families, like Jennie's, who have experienced the loss of a baby from sudden infant death syndrome. 

There is an ever growing list of generous people and companies who have donated to the auction and full details of everything available will be online soon. Please help support the auction in any way you can by bidding, tweeting, posting on Facebook, emailing etc. Get the word out there!

If you require any further information, you can contact Jennie or Susanne.

This post was written as part of a blog hop for Matilda's 1st Birthday. You can view the other entries here:

Happiness Is...Being On Twitter On A Friday Night

My blog has been seriously neglected lately and, for that, I sincerely apologise to all my lovely readers.

Life with a new baby has been a blur. The past 6 months since his arrival have just flown. I honestly thought time went fast when Mini Cheddar was born over 3 years ago but now, the arrival of Tiny Ched has made each day whizz by in a blur of happiness.

Talking of happiness blurs. I'm very happy today.

I shouldn't be! I only had about 4.5 hours sleep last night. No, TC is still sleeping through.

I didn't sleep because at 9.55pm last night I received this tweet:

I had to pinch myself.

Seriously.

I should have been in a swanky London hotel enjoying the company of some fabulous bloggers and friends but I chose not to go. This was for two reasons if I'm completely honest. I have a baby who is exclusively breastfed (and I live in North Wales)...plus, I never in a million years thought I'd actually win an award.

I'm still shaking.

So, I'm just writing this quick THANK YOU to all my wonderful readers who voted for me. I honestly can't believe my little blog has won an award. I can proudly say I am 'Best Baby Blog'. Also thanks to Sally and the whole team at The MAD Blog Awards and to the lovely team at Emma's Diary for sponsoring the award (and collecting it on my behalf).

The last couple of weeks have been quite up and down for me so I've not been around - I'll be able to blog about it all soon - so this has really made my day (and week, month, year etc.)

A proper thank you post and details will follow but I just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive and regular blogging will commence shortly.

Thank you once again - and thank you from this little guy too...

Heather xx

Silent Sunday #71

Mini Cheddar's 3rd Birthday

On Monday I put some pictures up on a post showing Mini Cheddar on the same day each year from 11th March 2009 to 11 March 2012. 3 years. 3 whole years. I honestly don't know where they have gone.

As I sit here waiting for the arrival of baby number 2 my mind is cast back to the birth of MC.

3 years ago.

3 years!

My little girl has grown and blossomed so much in those 3 years. She's a right little chatterbox and comes out with some corkers. She's definitely got a great sense of humour.

Sadly she was ill over her birthday. She started with a bad cold on the Friday night but thankfully by the Sunday she was that excited it was her birthday that she just got on with it.

As my due date is so close we decided not to organise a big party for her. Can you imagine if I went into labour and we had to cancel? We just decided to invite family over to ours and then we all went out for a meal at lunch time. I had organised a cake for her and the restaurant (and my Sister) decorated the table with balloons, streamers and glitter.

Perfect. No cleaning or washing up involved!

Sunday night, Matt and I had planned a 'Minnie Mouse' themed tea party for just the 3 of us. Trying our best to capture the small amount of time we have left with just MC before we become a 4. Unfortunately MC took a turn for the worse and was sick mid tea party. So we had to abandon it and it was an early night for all of us in the end.

She's still not right bless her.  My mind flicks back to her birthday week last year that ended up with her in hospital.

I'm hoping her 4th birthday will be a more healthier occasion and she will also have a little sibling to share it with.

I still can't believe my baby girl is 3 years old. I was fighting back the tears as we sang Happy Birthday to her and she blew out her candles.

Here are the photo's of us celebrating her birthday with her...

The scene in our lounge the night before

First ride on her new Minnie Mouse bike

Cheeeeeeese!

A quick wash 'n blow dry straight and she looks even older

Enjoying her birthday lunch out

I'll always love this photo of her

Me 'n my gal

A kiss for Daddy

Balloons thanks to her Aunty Sharon

Ice cream - om nom nom

This may end up being the last photo of us as a 3

Lunch was clearly exhausting

Feeling poorly but always time for balloon fun

Just before she took a turn for the worse and threw up

Illness kicks in and it's an early night

Silent Sunday #37