A Risky Business

I'm taking a bit of a risk writing this post.

Some of you may have seen that my activity on my blog (and Twitter and Instagram) has been almost non-existent over the past 2-3 weeks. Once again, I apologise.

Well, you remember back in early Spring, Matt was searching for a new job?

Yes?

It was a search that took him off to America when I was heavily pregnant. A search that eventually ended up with him starting a new job in early June.

For a while everything was rosy.

But then a few weeks ago, just after a weeks break in Tenby, it all turned pretty sour.

I won't go into details because I don't want to be accused of bad-mouthing the company...just in case. Although I've never divulged the name of the company on my blog. You can't be too careful though, you never know who's reading!

The upshot of all this is that Matt quit his job just over 2 weeks ago.

For a family of 4, with me earning a very limited salary from a small bit of freelance work, this was a pretty scary decision but one I backed Matt on fully. No great salary or fancy car was worth that. Thankfully we are financially secure enough for him to afford to do it for a while.

We both went through a fair few nights of very little sleep because of the fall-out from his resignation.
It turned a bit nasty. I won't say anymore than that.

Thankfully things are on the up.

Matt had managed to secure an interview within 48 hours of his resignation. He had an interview today, has another one on Thursday and one next week. He's also been headhunted by a direct competitor who heard he'd left and say they want to talk to him about joining them.

I haven't been able to blog about it because we still haven't told Matt's parents yet - Matt wants to tell them in person. Although they don't know about my blog so they wouldn't find out I just felt a bit strange writing about it without them knowing. They were supposed to come up this weekend but they cancelled so it drags on another week. If they do eventually discover my blog and read this then I apologise!

I have been itching to blog about it. Blogging can be a great therapy sometimes. Plus, I really wanted to share it with you guys so you understood why I'd been a little quiet of late.

That should change now.

I'm eager to get back to blogging and reading the blogs I love and I'm also looking forward to attending Blog Camp in a couple of weeks. I was unsure if I'd make it as Tiny Ched has a penchant for boob but the other day, for the first time, he actually took a whole bottle of milk!

This was after a great week of finding out I'd been chosen to be a Cosatto Brand Buddy (I love this brand so SO much) and then scooping the Best Baby Blog Award at The MAD Blog Awards on Friday.

Yes things are definitely on the up!*

My world

*I say this but Mini Cheddar has had some awful sickness bug the past 2 days. Can't win 'um all ;)

Guest Post...Alyson's Blog - Bring On The Grecian

Alyson, who blogs over at the wonderful 'Alyson's Blog', and I first met in the virtual world (Babycentre forum) when we were both expecting - her with her third child and me with my first. That was well over 3 years ago now and, despite living a good 1.5 hours drive from each other, we still try and meet up as much as humanly possible with our hectic lives. 


I class Alyson as true friend. When I found out I would have to have a c-section when I was pregnant I was a mess, distraught at the thought of my plans for a natural water birth going out of the window. Alyson picked me up and supported me and I owe it to her that I had the most wonderful c-section experience ever.


Alyson's 3 children are a delight and Emma (who is only 1 day older than MC) is gorgeous but, as Alyson explains here, the cuteness comes at a price.  I now hand you over to Alyson and her guest post - Bring On The Grecian...


I should probably introduce myself, I'm Alyson, writer of Alysonsblog, RL friend of Heather here at SAHMLovingit and when she asked me to write a guest post I was thrilled to oblige. I'm a 37 year old married mother of three daughters ranging from 13 - 2 years, and there is NEVER a dull day in my house, we like life to be busy, end to end, almost like an episode of Total Wipeout.. or that's how it feels sometimes. I'm studying for a degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy and absolutely loving it and I blog about my life, my work at uni and my volunteering too. So enough about me, onto my guest post.



As a 37 year old bottle blond, I'm not used to seeing the flash of silver in my hair but see this face.

This face is responsible for knocking actual years off my life and introducing me to the joys of the silver foxy.

I swear after having 2 other children, I thought I knew how this parenting/mothering gig worked, thought I had it down pat.. well I thought wrong.

Remember this face?

Well this face tests me in ways I didn't even know could exist.

In 2011 we have had no less than 3.. yes 3.. life altering moments, heart stopping, stomach in mouth moments with her that I can honestly say I didn't have with my others. Meg was calm, placid, polite, eager to please, Lucy was funny, spirited and a true comedian, but Emma... man alive where to start with Emma.

In the Summer whilst on the boat, we were mooring up in the harbour, both Tim & I busy doing our parts tying up, putting out fenders etc and we both heard a BIG splash, looked at each other in horror and did that thing where you whirl around to see what or who fell in, a very quick assessment showed Lucy sat reading her mag and no Emma, NO EMMA, ... Oh God No NOT EMMA. Tim started running, I started running round the boat, all side,  desperately trying to see into the marina to know where to jump in... 'did she have her life jacket on' 'I don't know' cue Tim & I both crying, running and screaming her name.. an awful awful feeling to anyone who has ever experienced a lost or endangered child.

In that very moment the cupboard door on the boat flew open and out danced Emma shouting 'ta-da' with her arms out stretched, I didn't know where to cry, scream or fall to my knees, I think I did all three. That was when after 3 children and some pretty lax rules for the boat the new 'getting on the boat' charter was launched meaning that the children are not even allowed to step foot in the marina without their life jackets on and MUST wear them all day - 'no life jacket no boat' is the mantra. You may think it shocking that we didn't already have this in place before and looking back it is really, but the children were always so good around the boat until Emma.. we never had a single incident with the other 2 so I suppose stupid assumptions came into play.

Then we had the car incident that I blogged about here.. Emma ran into the middle of the road, a VERY busy road, which finished up with both Emma and I led in the road being 'saved' by a white van man, another moment that took proper years off my life expectancy.

And then the icing on this cake of parenting nightmares came last week in a routine trip to the local Gym/Swimming Pool, we go every week, its one of Emma's favourite things to do, she loves launching herself fearlessly into the water, sinking like a stone and then bobbing up with the aid of her float suit. As I started to get changed last week, I gave Emma the task of taking off her shoes, I bent to pull my swimming costume up, looked and she was gone, literally in a split second gone. My heart stopped, the swimming pool is only say 12 feet away, and I ran, arse hanging out of suit, to the side of the pool and desperately scanned the bottom of the pool, I screamed to Lucy to check the jacuzzi, I ran into the showers, people were understanding that something was very wrong, I was crying, screaming her name, running back and forth to the pool and in the changing room.

Staff and people are coming running, this is bad, very bad. Someone sits me down as everyone continues the search and the shaking starts, uncontrollable shaking as I'm trying to stand and keep looking, about 4 or 5 minutes passed, I could feel my throat tightening, this is going to end badly I just know it
An elderly lady wanders in from the showers amid the commotion and opens a locker and says 'is this what you are looking for?' I whirl around and there she is, Emma half naked and sat in an actual locker with the door closed, like a little elf, grinning wildly and shouting 'BOO'

Its no exaggeration to say that I sobbed, completely sobbed, heaving, shaking and snotting everywhere, Emma laughing and dancing from foot to foot, whilst people gave her a stern look or a waggly finger about 'not frightening her mummy like that'

We didn't end up going swimming, frankly my nerves wouldn't have stood it, we went home and it was her turn to sob then

I'm reaching for new and unchartered depths in my parenting with Emma, proof if it were needed, that children can be and are SO very different and one size most certainly does NOT fit all, way back in my ignorant, blissful, smug, single child state, mother of a perfect daughter I used to believe it was all about the parenting, that when a child was a naughty tornado that must have meant something was missing or wrong in their life or that they weren't getting enough attention at home... yeah and I also used to believe in the tooth fairy as well,  just shows how wrong you can be

My Always Shining Star (My Birth Story)

This post has been a long time coming and a few weeks back I was prompted to mention it on a post by Karin at Cafebebe. She contacted me and told me she'd love to hear it and I think it will be a good one to blog about as a memory and may help some people out there facing an important birthing decision.

This will probably be the biggest blog post I've ever written and the most personal photos I'll ever share.

Before I start though, I'd just like to let you all know that I'm guest posting over at Chronicles Of A Reluctant HouseDad today so, after I've bored you with my birth story, you can head over to Keith's place and I can bore you with why I love being a Stay At Home Mum!

So, got yourself a brew? Comfy? Then I'll begin.

Back in July 2008 when I found out I was expecting my first child at the age of 34 I was ecstatic! So began my preparations over the following months - picking out nursery furniture to convert the spare room, buying baby clothes, choosing names and also writing my birth plan.

I wanted a water birth.

Think low-lighting, music playing.  I had the perfect picture in my head.

I started listening to hypnotherapy CD's to help me with the birth and I thought I was in control of everything.

My bump had never caused me concern until around week 28 when, at a midwife check, I was told the baby was feet down (breech). The midwife didn't seem too concerned saying there was plenty of time for he/she to move.

As the weeks went on it was apparent that the baby was not turning. By 35 weeks I was really starting to panic and booked to have a treatment of moxibustion to try and turn the baby naturally. We even continued this at home - yes, Matt ended up basically burning candles on my toes! I was also positioning my body to encourage turning and also playing music to my lady garden! The things you'll do.

I was in sheer panic at the thought of not being able to deliver my baby naturally. I cried endlessly and sought comfort in baby forums.  I was a wreck although I hid it from the outside world.  We had paid for NCT classes and felt we were so knowledgeable about natural birth but we weren't prepared for the possibility of a caesarean.

At 36 weeks I was offered an ECV to try and manipulate the baby to turn. I did a lot of research on the procedure and spoke at length to the consultant. As it happened, when we had a late scan, the baby was well and truly stuck the wrong way so Matt and I decided that it wasn't for us. We opted for an elective caesarean section. I fought with many demons over this decision but it will, to this day, be one of the best decisions I ever made.

I was booked in to have the section Wednesday 11th March 2009 (due date was 16th March).  There was only one person, other than Matt, that knew I was booked in and that was my Sister. We took the decision not to tell anyone to lessen their worry and also let it be a surprise when the baby was born. Again, this was one of the best decisions we made.

I used the next couple of weeks to prepare myself for everything I would need to get through the section with as little upset as possible.  I bought the NCT Caesarean Birth book which was excellent.  I bought myself a caesarean belt from Mothercare and I bought myself some arnica pills from Boots.

The night before the section Matt and I went out for a meal to the restaurant he'd proposed marriage and where we'd had our wedding reception meal.  It was lovely. The two of us were wrapped in this little bubble - we knew we were going to be parents the next day and our lives would change forever.

That night I woke up at 2am and I was really sick.  I had bad tightening pains that felt like severe
menstrual cramps start in the morning and I was leaking fluid.  On the way to the hospital I had a couple of really bad pains and I'm still convinced that I was in early labour and that the baby knew it was time to come out.

I was so calm at the hospital until the anesthetist came in to talk to me about what was going to happen. I felt uncontrollably teary and down the corridor I heard a baby enter the world with it's first cry and I started to shake.

Sexy *cough*

I needn't have worried though...my tears turned to laughter later when Matt appeared in the room looking more like some idiot from Scrubs rather than George Clooney in ER as I had hoped (sorry Matt!).

I couldn't believe how relaxed and friendly it was inside the theatre when we got there. The radio was playing and everyone was lovely.  The spinal block I had was fine although the sensation of not feeling your legs is a little strange at first! Matt was sat next to my head holding my hand. I felt quite calm.

Within 5 minutes of them starting the procedure I remember the midwife (who was standing next to us) saying "Your baby is about to be born".

Matt and I both got a little emotional as we looked at each other for a brief moment as 'childless parents'. Matt said "listen to the radio" and I heard an old early 90's song called You from Ten Sharp playing with these words:

You, you were always on my mind
you, you're the one I've been living for
you, you're my everlasting fire
you're my always shining star

Then our beautiful baby was held up by the for us by the obstetrician so we could both see she was a little girl.

New (and knackered and emotional) parents

We both started crying and I vaguely remember Mini Cheddar deciding to poo meconium at that point. Always one for an entrance is our daughter!

Matt was able to cut the cord and then she was passed to us for some immediate skin-to-skin.  We were just so happy, even writing this post makes it all come flooding back like it was only yesterday.

I was stitched up and we were taken back into the recovery room where we were able to cuddle our daughter and then phone our families.  They were so shocked as we hadn't told them. I'll never forget phoning my Dad, who was on the golf course at the time and I heard him get very emotional.

When I think back to how upset, angry, worried and frustrated that I couldn't have the 'natural' birth I wanted I have to laugh at myself. For me, my section was the most amazing experience ever.

Freshly wrapped Mini Cheddar

I took arnica from the moment of my operation and my recovery was excellent. I was in far better shape a week later than a friend who had a natural birth just 2 days before I had my caesarean. I was also back driving within 2 weeks and leading a normal life (as normal as life can be that is with a new baby!)

I know when there was the prospect of me having a caesarean I did receive a couple of comments (one from a stranger and one from a 'friend' who is anti-caesarean) who made me feel bad, like I was failing at being a 'real mother'. Well, you know what? I don't feel any less of a woman for not delivering naturally, in fact I'm proud of myself that I went through all that I did.

However a child is born us mothers are strong, determined and courageous to carry our bundles and give birth - whether that's naturally or not.

Flashback Friday - Scary Bear

You think of childrens theme parks and you think of Disney World maybe...or perhaps the recently opened Peppa Pig World in this country. You have visions of people dressed in fantastic character costumes delighting the children!

Even now with holiday parks such as Haven and you think of lovable characters such as Rory The Tiger or Bradley Bear. Ah, how fabulous.

So, what was on offer at our holiday park when my Sister and I were kids?

A big moth-eaten scary old bear that's what!

I'm useless with ages but I'm guessing that I'm about 5 or 6 in this photo (I'm the one on the right) which would put the year at about 1979/1980.

Every time my Sister and I see this photo we end up in hysterics laughing at the state of the bear.  This was obviously taken in the days when you could sit on a bears knee to have your photo taken (what a shame!).  I do believe there is another take of this photo where my Sister and I are looking totally horrified but I can't find it.

I'm not surprised we were looking horrified, just look at the state of the bear. Look at his shoes sticking out the bottom of the costume. Look at his eyes! 

It's a wonder we didn't have nightmares if I'm honest.

Now head over to Cafebebe and check out the other entries and why not join in yourself?  The link up has been struggling a little the past few weeks - I know I've not joined in because of holiday and other commitments - so let's keep this wonderful linky alive!

Bye Bye 'Pider

I really don't like spiders.

I wouldn't say I'm an arachnophobe, I just don't like them. End of.

Photo credit: Ross Haddow

Unfortunately I married a man who can't even stand the thought of one, let alone to actually clap eyes on one. He puts them in categories.

"Heath! There's a category 2 on the stairs!" I'll hear him cry.

This poses a bit of a problem.

My dislike for the eight-legged blighters has been passed onto me by my mother and my husbands phobia has been instilled into him by his mother.  I really don't want us to end up passing this fear onto Mini Cheddar - our 2 year old daughter.

Basically I've had to grow a pair of balls, man-up and not show my fear when one enters our abode.  Luckily, during the dreaded 'Spider Month' (aka September) when all our eight-legged friends decide it's starting to get a little chilly and venture indoors, Mini Cheddar has been asleep so she hasn't heard the girly shrieking that goes on when one is discovered...or heard me trying to calm my husband down!

But lately I've noticed quite a few making an appearance around the house and garden during the day. Since Mini Chedder was tiny I've always tried to point spiders out to her if I see one crawling about.

"Oh look sweetie, there's a lovely spider"

Secretly I was screaming inside.  But lately I've become rather hardened.  Whether it's because I've grown quite fond of our creepy crawly friends or whether it's because there's this inner power within in me to hide my fear from Mini Cheddar, I don't know.  I just wish I could convince my husband adopt the same stance and not holler at me to get the vacuum every time he thinks there's one in the house.

Knowing the lack of spider love in the house my Sister bought us one of these spider catchers for Christmas and I used it for the first time last week.  I have to say it's amazing.  No, this isn't a sponsored post.  I just love the item so much.  You don't really have to look at them when you do it - genius.

I picked the scary offender up without harming him/her (how do you tell the sex of a spider?) and transfered him/her outside.  See, it's even humane!

"Bye bye 'pider" as Mini Cheddar says "Put 'pider outside".

So long as she's not afraid of them I don't mind.  My work will be done.  I just don't want her being so brave that she can pick them up and thrust them at me.  I've become hardened yes, but I still dislike the creepy little buggers.

Movie Meme - Horror

It's Horror this week over at Hannah's blog.

This week she wants films that scare us.  I wouldn't say I get scared too much by horror movies (not like my wussy husband).  I'm not a huge fan of all the ones that are full of guts and gore that's for sure.  I love the creepy ones, the ones with atmosphere like Jacobs Ladder, The Exorcist, Poltergeist and Stir of Echoes to name but a few.

The film I've chosen for this week, like Hannah, is one that scared me when I was younger.  I can remember watching it on TV with my Mum and my older Sister when Dad was on night shift and I think I ended up in Mums bed for about a week!

It just happens to be an 80's film so maybe my love for 80's movies extends to this genre too.

My choice...The Thing.

Released in 1982 and directed by great John Carpenter who also directed Christine (another horror I love) it stars a young Kurt Russell in the lead role as MacReady who is part of an American science team in the Antarctic. The film starts in the cold mist with some Norwegians chasing a dog and trying to kill it but they fail. Later the dog starts attacking the other dogs and so 'The Thing' starts to move and mutate throughout the compound.

Being made in 1982 the effects aren't the best but it's full of atmosphere (and gore too) and the fact that you don't know 'who' has been taken over by The Thing makes it even more terrifying.

The classic moment in this film and the one that still scares me when I think about it now is the bit when they are trying to resuscitate a guy.  I remember it so clearly, the chest opening, the teeth, The Thing appearing but the worst part is the screams and the noise that goes with the scene. It's terrifying (well, it was to me when I was younger) and the head detaching itself, using it's tongue to drag itself then growing legs and running away like a freaking spider!

It's only 8am and I'm scaring myself.  Maybe I need to watch it again now I'm older and it won't haunt me as much.  For the moment I'm off to grab a cushion and get a cuddle from my husband.

Apparently they've made a sequel which is due for release this year.  I bet it won't be half as scary.

What's your favourite?  Head over to Hannah's blog and link up...