Blogging Confessions And Tiny Ched

My name is Heather and it's been two weeks since I last blogged.

Yes, this feels very much like I need to join some sort of blogging confessions therapy group. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm not feeling the love right now.

I don't know if it's to do with the summer holidays, the house move, my new life in a new home and neighbourhood, lack of time, lack of motivation or what but I can't seem to get my head into blogging much right now. I've stepped back from Twitter too. That's generally a lovely place to be but, quite frankly, I've heard about some bad stuff on there of late.

I'm also trying to decide where I should go with my blog. I need more time. It is desperately due an overhaul. I haven't got time in the evening as Matt works hard all day so we like to spend time together at night.

Perhaps the blogging mojo will come back after September when Mini Cheddar starts full time school. Who knows?

At the moment we are middle of the school holidays. MC has made lots of little friends in our new neighbourhood and so, when we are at home, she's playing out most of the day. I could be throwing myself into my blog a bit during the day but I'm trying to spend time enjoying my little man (and when he's napping I'm just enjoying time on my own - or cleaning the house!).

Tiny Ched is growing up so fast it's scary. Doesn't seem like a minute since he was born (although it also feels like he's always been here in a strange way) and yet, here he is, almost 17 months old.

TC is my last baby. I said I'd like either 2 or 4 children and, although our new house could more than easily accommodate 2 more, Matt and I feel like we should quit while we are ahead in a way. We have been truly blessed with two very bright, very happy and, thankfully, very healthy children. Plus, I turn 40 next year *screams and runs for the wrinkle cream*

So 2 it is.

2 is more than enough though.

TC is a spirited little man. He's full of smiles and cuddles, has THE cutest waddle and grin but at the same time he is the biggest drama queen when he can't get what he wants. If you tell him no or even just look at him and shake your head he'll act like it's the end of the world.

He's also a climber.

Sir Edmund Hillary scales another chair mountain

I don't remember MC being this bad. Perhaps it's a girl / boy difference or perhaps it comes from the fact the second one always wants to do more to be like their older sibling. It can be exhausting.

Seriously exhausting.

Some days I feel like I'm constantly telling him not to do something. I seem to spend my time plucking him down from cabinets he's trying to scale like Edmund Hillary. Or I'll be trying to grab something from him that he shouldn't have and he knows it. He'll look at me with a cheeky expression, show me what's in his hand and then run off at full speed laughing as he knows I'll take chase. I swear he's going to be a serious contender to Usain Bolt's records soon. The boy is fast.

But I'm enjoying it.

I'm enjoying watching him explore his new and exciting world. I'm enjoying the fun he brings to our lives. I'm enjoying the fact he absolutely loves his sleep. I'm enjoying his cuddles when he's tired. I'm enjoying his loving and incredible bond with his big sister - we will both miss her on a daily basis in September - the kids generally play so lovely together.

Yes, I'm enjoying my kids and I'm enjoying my life.

Each and every day (even when it's not a particularly good day) I am so thankful that both my children are here with us and happy and healthy.

I feel truly blessed.

Blessed with a beautiful family, supportive parents and Sister, amazing friends (both near and far) and a wonderful home.

What more could a girl (I can still call myself a girl at almost 40, can't I?) possibly want?

I guess I want my blogging mojo to return for the sake of these two as I love having somewhere to look back on a record of their lives and I want them to have it to read when they're older.

I am hopeful it will return in full force but, for now, I'm sure they will understand mummy has taken a little break.

The Lullaby Trust - A Beautiful New Name

Today marks a historic occasion.

The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) is changing it's name. The charity was founded well over 40 years ago, in 1971, so this is a big deal.

From today the charity will be known as The Lullaby Trust.

Beautiful name isn't it?

So very fitting.

A kiss goodnight for Tiny Ched

You hear the word 'lullaby' and already you feel an overwhelming sense of calm. Lullabies have been used to soothe babies to sleep throughout history and some of the ones we still sing now are hundreds of years old.

I have to say that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has always been a favourite in this house. I still sing it to Mini Cheddar, if she's poorly or just wants comforting, even though she's 4 now. She will also sing it to her baby brother, Tiny Ched. Whenever I am comforting TC it's always the lullaby I choose.

The lullaby has more significance with me now though. I can't sing it without thinking about Matilda Mae, beautiful daughter of Jennie, who was taken away at the age of 9 months to cot death or sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Cot death.

Two words that strike fear into any parent, especially those with young babies.

It's something that has always been in my mind during the early months of both children. Something that will now stay with me forever having a friend who's experienced the pure devastation of losing a baby.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Jennie and her family. I know that I'll never listen or sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in quite the same way.

The work of The Lullaby Trust is so important. No parent should have to say goodbye to a child, especially not a happy and healthy baby taken without warning. The Lullaby Trust is there to offer families, like Jennie's, the support and guidance they need to deal with the loss of a baby to cot death.

It is hoped that the new name will be a gentler approach to help more families access support and information. Apparently more than 600 healthy babies in the U.K. die without warning every year. Shocking statistics. That's 600 devastated families. The Lullaby Trust are striving to reduce that number to under 200 by 2015 then further again.

Please take a moment to help spread the word about the name change for The Lullaby Trust and the amazing work they do. Blog it. Tweet it. Facebook it. Talk about it. Help raise awareness now.

I, for one, think the name change is beautiful...just like Matilda Mae.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Tilda Star xx


This is MC's favourite version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - she loves to watch the owl and the star dancing together.

Pink Or Blue – Which One Are You?

When I discovered I was pregnant back in July 2008, my husband and I were thrilled. We decided to keep it secret until we had the all clear at the 12-week scan – it was the hardest couple of months of my life but it was also lovely to be carrying such an amazing secret.

As soon as we announced the pregnancy, I was immediately hit with a question I hadn’t even thought of.  “Would you like a girl or boy?”.  I hadn’t even given it a thought, to me just carrying a healthy baby was all I cared about, the sex was just one of those things we’d wait until the birth to discover but have fun guessing along the way.  But then I heard those fateful words “Well, I hope it’s a girl, I never had a girl so it would be lovely for me”.  For you?  For You? Errr, excuse me, this is OUR baby, NOT yours!  I dismissed it.

However, as my pregnancy progressed I felt more and more pressure from a couple of members of our family to deliver them a baby girl.  I remember those words down the phone the morning of my 20-week scan “Have a word to him upstairs please, I want a girl”.  These words still make me so angry.  To the point where I actually started to think I would like a boy just to p**s them all off!  Harsh I know, but when your hormones are raging during pregnancy it can make you a tad crazy.

Our beautiful baby girl was born in March 2009 and she was perfect.  We were so happy.  I thought that would be the end of the whole ‘gender preference’ but no.  It still continues now.  I face regular battles over present buying, amongst other things, hearing the words “Well, I never had a girl so I haven’t experienced this or this so I want to do this, buy this blah blah blah”.

All the while I sit and suffer in silence.  I’ve tried to politely get my point across but it’s getting to a stage now I’m about to snap.  I’m not a ‘girly’ girl myself, indeed I’m no tomboy but I’m just not into the whole fluffy bunny fairy pink princess glittery stuff.  Obviously the girl obsession within the family means we are regularly showered with overly pink, frilly, fluffy hideous items that aren’t practical at all.  My husband and I want to have another baby sometime in the future and if we do have a boy he will have to make do with lots of pink hand-me-down toys because, rather than buying neutral, these family members are properly pink obsessed!  A member of that side of the family is pregnant at the moment  with her FIRST child and she actually said to me when she was trying to conceive “I don’t want a boy, I just want a girl.  All my friends have boys” and then she topped it by making a “Bleurgh” noise and screwing up her face in disgust.  I was horrified. 

So, the regular battles with the gender preference from the family will no doubt continue. Only yesterday I faced such hurdles, which is the catalyst for this post.

The thing is, I’m honestly not bothered in the slightest what sex our children are.  All that matters to me is they are healthy.  Surely that’s the real wish that any parent should have?  I read somewhere that some parents become so obsessed with wanting a particular sex that they suffer depression and bonding issues with the child.  There’s even a proper term for it - ‘gender disappointment'. Google it.  You’ll even discover one woman who has admitted that she would have terminated her little boy if she could have done so without anyone knowing.

A member of my family can’t have children and I have many friends who've experienced miscarriages at various stages of pregnancy but yet there are people who want to be so fussy as to choose the sex of their baby.  Maybe I’m extremely naïve but I just don’t understand it.  Maybe if we are lucky to be blessed with another child and we have another girl, maybe I’ll start to get the longing for a boy.  Who knows?

So, my question is, what are your thoughts?  Do you think it’s right, wrong or are you impartial?  Do you have a gender preference yourself?  Have you any experience of this that can help me?

image: www.momsbreak.com


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