Join in the childish Toilet Tuesday (yes I know it's Monday still!) fun now on Wendys blog.
I think most people enjoy a bit of toilet humour (even if they don’t openly admit it), giggling like school children when someone ‘lets one go’ by accident. When I was growing up one of my favourite programmes was The Young Ones, much to my mothers disgust, then as I got older I loved Bottom. Says it all really.
It’s surprising then to learn that was actually in a relationship for almost 7 years with a man who hated flatulence. In those 7 years I actually only broke wind in front of him twice. I still, to this day, wonder how I managed to get through all that time without breaking wind in his company. It’s a wonder I didn’t become a victim of spontaneous human combustion!
The last time I did float an air biscuit in front of him I remember so vividly. We were walking back home hand in hand in the early hours of the morning on New Years day after enjoying a party at a friend’s house when it started snowing. There weren’t many people about as it was about 4am – yes, there once was a time when I could arrive home with the milkman – it was so beautiful. Almost picture perfect, like something from a movie. He stopped me and pulled me in close and told me how much he loved me. Perfect I hear you say. Well, it would have been if, when he kissed me and cuddled me, I hadn’t expelled a loud gassy noise from my derrière. He dropped me like a hot brick and called me disgusting. Of course this just made me laugh and the more indignant he got about it, the harder I laughed (and the amount of cider and vodka I’d consumed didn’t help). We walked home the rest of the way in complete silence. Happy...or should I say Crappy New Year!
* I would just like it noted that I only farted, I did not crap myself but 'crappy' was the best idea I had for a post title at the time of posting :-)