Absence Really Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder

According to Elton John, 'sorry' seems to be the hardest word.

I'd like to challenge Mr. John (or should I say Mr. Dwight?) over that song. For me 'goodbye' seems to be the hardest word.

As those of you who read my Pregnancy Patter post last Monday will know, Matt had to go away for a short while.  He's still away now, as I write this, and I can honestly say it's been really hard.

It sounds so silly being so upset about him going away for what works out to be not even 5 days but he works from home so I'm used to having him here. Of course, he goes away on business a bit but he usually only goes for one night and the most he's ever been away in the past 8 years has been 2 nights. Also, the furthest he's ever been is Holland.

This time he's over 3,500 miles away.

In America.

We all had a last dinner out together before we
took Daddy to the station - this was just before
we left the restaurant to catch his train

Saying goodbye to him at the end of last week was really difficult. I hate the thought of him being so far away from us. Being 35 weeks pregnant is really making this so hard. I miss him terribly and every time I think about it I get all blubbery and snotty. It doesn't help that Mini Cheddar keeps cuddling me, stroking my hair and saying "It will be okay Mummy. Daddy will be home soon".  I feel like MC is looking after me at the moment! Thankfully yesterday we had 2 video calls with him on Skype which helped a lot.

It's really made me appreciate everything I have. Really made me realise just how much I love my husband. I've always loved him, right from when we first met, but this ache in my heart is horrible. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones heightening everything (I think it is) but the distance and the different time zone that's between us right now is something I can't get my head around. It's also been hard that it's completely taken away our 'family time' at the weekend. Having inlaws in Nottingham means one day every other weekend is spent seeing them so it reduces our weekends together enough as it is.

All I could do last week when we parted was think about how it must feel for people (especially those with children) to be separated for long periods of time. I have a friend who's husband is in the US Army and they went for 15 months without seeing each other - they have 3 children. I just don't know how you get through that. I have a new found appreciation for all the people who spend long periods of time away from their families. Especially those in the forces who can't guarantee that their loved one will return home to them.

A final kiss for Daddy at the train station

I know Matt is finding it equally hard. He was fighting back tears (as was I) as he kissed us goodbye at the train station to get his train down to Heathrow. Before I'd even returned to the car he'd sent me a text saying "I just want to get off this train and come home with you". A couple of days before he was due to leave he started questioning whether he should go or not. He just kept saying "I don't think I can leave you both". The thing is, this is a great opportunity for him - if he gets the job. He's not happy doing what he's doing at the moment and I can see how much it's frustrating him. Problem is, if he does get this job it will eventually mean more travel as the role covers Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Thankfully his immediate focus will be in the U.K. but my mind keeps thinking about the possibility of being separated from him again in the future...and we will have two children by then.

I'm guessing what will be, will be. He has to get the job first.

For now I'm just concentrating on getting through the next couple of days until he's home safe with us again. I can't wait to pick him up from the station on Tuesday afternoon.

It's true what they say - absence does make the heart grow fonder. I didn't think it was possible to love my husband any more but I do.

I miss him so much it hurts.

Silent Sunday #49

Inspired by...

Silent Sunday #38

Inspired by

Missing In Cyberspace

As the technological world grows more vast we rely on the relationships we build up with people we've never even met before. Although we've never met them before we feel close to them.  I've built up some fabulous relationships on BabyCentre, Twitter and through blogging. Through these digital social networks I've met what I consider to be friends even though I've only ever 'spoken' to people with type and only ever seen photos of them.

Photo credit: jscreationzs

We make friends with people all over the world and build up fabulous online relationships, sharing little corners of our lives with them. Laughing at jokes, crying through sad times, congratulating eachother on achievements and special occasions.

I've blogged about how online relationships really matter to me before in one of my first ever posts. As a stay at home mum, sometimes these connections are so important - they really kick in when you have a poorly little one or the weather is bad and you can't venture out into the 'real world'.

Over the past couple of weeks I've become increasingly concerned about a blogging friend of mine.  She's not posted on her blog or on Twitter for 4-5 weeks. There was no notification that she was going away - it just stopped. This is someone who I considered a friend even though she lives far away from me and I've never met her. I've messaged her on Twitter and nothing and still her blog remains untouched.

It's got me worried that something serious has happened. I hope it hasn't, I hope she's just taking some time out from the digital social network.

I think this is the real downside to online relationships.

I read a couple of years ago about this happening. People will lose touch or go AWOL from cyberspace then eventually it becomes apparent that the person is seriously ill or even worse, has passed away. After all, we don't truly know these people. The only contact we have with them is through the Internet so when something like that happens, they just go missing.  Like they've dropped off the face of...well, cyberspace.

It's moments like this when I dislike the 'virtual world'. I hate not knowing if something bad has happened to someone or if they need help in some way. It's totally out of my control as I sit at my laptop not knowing if someone, somewhere in cyberspace is going through a bad time.

I hope she's okay.