I'm A Bad Person

Okay...I'm not a bad person really but today I did feel like one.

Something happened that made me realise I'd been stupid as I'd upset someone.

This person isn't a friend or anything like that but it doesn't mean I still don't feel bad.

This person and I are thrown together on very rare occasions. Sometimes we can go a couple of years without ever seeing each other. I always felt this person didn't like me. Their body language and other things I picked up on made me think this. For instance, I always felt like I made the first move to be friendly and break the ice. Now, having taken time to reflect, it was probably just the sheer awkwardness of the situation we were both put in.

Anyway, I said a couple of things on Twitter. Yup, public forum. No, I didn't threaten to blow up Robin Hood airport! In actual fact I didn't say anything bad about this person but I just said bad things about the situation that, in hindsight, I shouldn't have.

I (stupidly) have always looked upon Twitter as my escapism. My followers don't know the 'real' me in real life apart from one or two who don't really use it much anyway. Well, appears that someone on Twitter is showing a keen interest in me as this person supposedly found out through a friend who was watching my Twitter feed. This I find a little stalkeresque which I did mention to them.

It did cross my mind for all of 30 seconds to shut down Twitter and my blog but I don't think it's needed. Yes it creeps me out a bit that someone who doesn't know me but knows 'of' me is following my movements but hopefully they will get bored and move along. Nothing to see here and all that. After all, the people who actually know me and are friends with me know that I always hold my family and friends close to my heart.

I've just suffered a moment where I just didn't think about the consequences of online banter hitting me in real life. I got caught up in the moment. Never for a minute thinking about Twitter being a public forum. Doh!

I have apologised to the person involved and I think (hope) they realised how genuinely sincere I was and it's all water under the bridge now and we can move on. We actually talked more than we've ever talked before. The odd thing to come out of this is that I actually have a lot of respect for this person and really feel in another life we could have even been friends.

Strange what life throws at you sometimes.

Coming Out

Until the middle of last year only Matt knew about my blog. None of my family or close friends were aware of its existence.

It wasn't because I was ashamed. I'm actually really proud of my blog. I guess I just felt a little uncomfortable knowing they would be reading about things before I'd had chance to tell them myself. It's like having someone you know read your personal diary - I guess having strangers read it would feel different somehow, if that makes sense?

It wasn't until last Spring/Summer when I'd got some advice from a fellow blogger to help out my best friend. She asked me "So how do you know this person?". I was caught off-guard. I couldn't think of something quickly so I replied "Erm, well actually through blogging. I have a blog". Her response to my confession was very matter-of-fact. She didn't scowl at my secretiveness nor did she guffaw at my geekiness.

She merely asked how long I'd been doing it, looked slightly interested and asked me to send her the link.

I'd thought about coming out for a while and this was the first step.

When I made it to the MAD Blog Award finals last year I was over the moon. To be nominated for Best New Blog just 5 months after writing my first blog post was incredible.

I knew I wanted to go to the Awards Ceremony in London.

I decided to tell my parents about my blog *gulp*

I wasn't sure what they would think of their youngest daughter laying her life down on a computer screen to every Tom, Dick and Harry. I'd even featured pictures of my Mum and Dad and even their parents on my blog without them knowing. I'd given away secrets of my younger more crazy years and talked about  fuck buddies *cough cough*

Mum and Dad loved it.

Infact Mum reads it religiously and they always say how proud they are of me.

I love this so much.

Next I told a handful of close friends. I think one reads it religiously, a couple dip in and out and a couple probably don't read. As far as I'm aware they all think it's great and I haven't had any negative comments. Maybe I'm naive. Maybe they secretly think I'm a big geek!

Being nominated for 2 categories in this years MAD Blog Awards has completely blown me away. My blog doesn't have a massive following compared to others but it made the finals.

"Look Mummy! We are in the paper!"

An article went in last weeks local Chronicle newspaper about my blog being in the finals again and there's another article scheduled to go in another local paper either today or next week.

I have just shy of 200 'friends' on my personal Facebook, these range from close friends and family to ex-work colleagues, some old school friends, acquaintances I've made over the years and a handful of baby forum friends and blogging friends.

I keep my Twitter and Instagram feed separate from my personal Facebook account. I keep my blog Facebook page separate too.

An old school friend posted on my personal Facebook wall last week that she had seen the article in the local paper and that she had a look at my blog. She said it was amazing.

It's got me thinking.

Should I just come out properly once and for all?

What am I so afraid of?

It's been in the newspaper so anyone can see it if they care to look. I'm proud of my blog so what do I care if people don't like it or think I'm stupid? My blog has made me some pretty fabulous friends and brought our family some amazing treats, freebies and even some money.

Will people read it religiously anyway?  They may have a look when I announce it but once they've had a good look (and a laugh) they will probably never look at it again.

I don't know why it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. But then I thought I'd feel uncomfortable about my parents knowing about my blog but it doesn't - I really love it. I guess there would be a small handful of people I wouldn't want to see it so maybe that's what is putting me off?

I agreed for it to go in the paper so I must secretly want people to know about it. I think this is what I'm battling with at the moment. I think I am hoping people spot me up for an award in the paper so it makes me look better for having a blog maybe?

I'd love to hear if your friends and family know about your blog. Have they known from the start or did you 'come out'? If so, how did you do it and what was their reaction?

Only time will tell if I'll come out properly but for now I'm just jumping in and out of the shadows waiting for someone to put the light on. If the spotlight does go on my blog you can bet I'll break out in a cold sweat at the thought of everyone who knows me having a look at my secret blogging life.

*gulp*

Guest Post...Mummy From The Heart - 5 Top Tips To Avoid Social Media Fatigue

Michelle is a true heart and soul blogger and someone I really admire. She is one of the bloggers who immediately spring to mind when I think about blogging and the amazing people I've met. Her blog 'Mummy From The Heart' is exactly that, it's an open and honest account of her life and her thoughts. 


She is so supportive of new bloggers and she is the person who helped me so much when I first stepped into the blogosphere so I'm honoured to have her guest post on my blog. I've met her a couple of times and was fortunate enough to spend a good amount of quality time with her at the MAD Awards in September and she's a wonderful person.


Michelle makes no secret of the fact that she battles with blogging sometimes (as we all do) and she's great at giving advice about how to find a happy balance. Here, in her guest post she shows us her 5 Top Tips to Avoid Social Media Fatigue...

Image credit

It is so easy to get burnt out in any part of your life.  You find something new, enjoy it, get absorbed in it, make friends, find new avenues, overcommit yourself and before you know it, you feel completely burnt out and what was super fun before no longer is.

Balance is what it is all about; this is what I have discovered.  


Blogging and other forms of social media, such as twitter and facebook are highly addictive and offer many false highs and you can become addicted to those.  The buzz you get when the comments roll in or your visitor stats go up all give you that fleeting thrill but truly that is all it is – momentary. The next day fewer people visit your blog and it is easy to wonder why.  Is my writing not so good today? Am I not as popular as I was?  But of course it is not that, as just one person we are just a very small part of a massively growingblogsphere and loyalty is not something that is at the forefront of many bloggers and readers minds.

Most bloggers are out there seeking new blogs to read, searching for new material, trying to make a name forthemselves in a saturated market, perhaps chasing paid work or aiming to write a book.  Everyone has different reasons for blogging and for a few it is to make solid friendships and those people will come back again and again to your blog but many people will just dip in and out and be acquaintances and this is nothing personal, that is the big thing to remember.

So as someone who has suffered social media fatigue a number of times in the last 3 years or so I thought I would share with you my 5 top tips for staying real –

1.

Accept that you are human and you have real life obligations. There is no point in getting resentful that you have to go to work or that you need to bath the kids, as you would rather be sat there chatting at a laptop.  Yes it is fun to chat on twitter and to blog but if it was not for our real lives and our families what wouldwe have to talk about?  Especially for those of us who are parent bloggers, the kids and our journey into parenthood were our inspiration to start a blog and they should remain at the very heart of it.

2.

The minute you feel you must blog or that blogging feels like hard work, take a break. Nip it in the bud if it seems that you are getting too attached to your blog. Being in the top 20 of any kind of ranking system or having an influence score of 60 or 70 does not define you.  It does not make you a better person.  From personal experience I can say that it may just make you feel sad and inadequate. Know what it is that you blog for and stay true to that.

3.

Don't make an idol of any other blogger.  Some people are destined to do well with their blog, they have that natural talent and their writing is amazing. In every walk of life there are people who have that special je ne sais quoi and chances are if you do not effortlessly have it then you may never. I am not saying you will not be good or even great at what you choose to do but that special intangible quality that some people have just comes without effort.  Imitating another blogger will leave you frustrated as you will never do what they do,quite as well as them. However, when you use your own original voice and are comfortable to reveal you, that iswhen you excel.

4.

Enjoy making friends and reading their blogs. I have been blogging a fair while but it is in the last year that I have developed some serious blogging friendships.  People that I know I would wish to keep in touch with even if I never blogged again.  When I feel down, these people get in contact with me and I love to come and visit their blogs and see what they are up to. You cannot be best friends with everyone, just accept it and work on the relationships that make you happiest.  Hankering after being in the popular crowd is a sure way to feeling depressed.

5.

Set yourself a time limit.  If you know that hanging around twitter for too long gets you down, don't do it. Come on the laptop and do what you need to do first and then visit twitter second (if you feel you must).  If it is making you happy while you are there, stay, have fun.  If not make sure you have given yourself a get-out clause and you know that after ½ hour (or so) you will switch off!

So there you go.  These are the things that I keep in mind nowadays.  When I start to feel unhappy in all things blogging and social media I come back to the reasons why I blog and I remember that I do not want to be the number 1 UK parenting blogger, I want to be someone who shares her faith, makes good friends and gives and receives love and support during tough times.

How about you?  Do you know what you want from your blog? Is it time for a good hard think?

There Was Me Thinking My Partying Days Were Over

Well, they are pretty much...yes, nowadays the only parties I get to attend are the British Mummy Bloggers Twitter Parties!  Saying that though, they are such good fun - even if they are somewhat less alcohol fueled than those I was once used to. Ahem.

The latest party was a Spring Clean Twitter Party which was fairly apt as I had blogged about doing a Spring Clean myself only weeks earlier.  Never would I have thought I'd be blogging about cleaning.  For those interested (that will be no-one I imagine) you can read my domestic mutterings here.  I try and keep the downstairs of my house fairly tidy but at the moment, if truth be told, upstairs has gone to the dogs a bit.  Sorry, I digress...

I was actually 15 minutes late to the party last week so imagine my surprise when Bottle PR contacted me to say I was one of the top 5 contributers!  Clearly, my love of housework saw me through *cough cough* Actually, it's probably just because I thought tweeting about housework sounded much more fun than actually doing it.

The Twitter party was sponsored by Rentokil and asked for everyones cleaning tips to be tweeted between 1pm - 2pm last Thursday using the hashtag #springclean.  It generated approximately 1,350 tweets from over 500 contributers and the power of British Mummy Bloggers got the hashtag trending twice during the hour!  Go us!  There were some great prizes up for grabs which generated fantastic tips and advice and some truly deserving winners.

These are just a few of the Rentokil tips I saw that I think are definitely worthy of a re-tweet or two:

This was one of my tweets during the party:

I'm a bit of a stickler for vacuuming - although probably not on the same level as some people.  My Sister vacuums every day.  I secretly call her 'Monica Geller'.

If you think we are both sad then maybe you should have a read of this blog post from Rentokil but be prepared to feel itchy and be reaching for the vacuum cleaner faster than you can say "dust mites"!  Most of us probably think our houses are pest-free but you'd be surprised.  I'm not saying I'm going to turn into Aggie MccKenzie or anything but I'm still determined to finish my spring clean.

So, all in all, I think the BMB Twitter Party was a great success and has helped me boost my spring clean determination.

I look forward to the next one!  Being part of BMB and the Twitter Parties is great.

For more tweets and cleaning tips from the party, head over to here British Mummy Bloggers now.

Dear So And So...

When I stumbled across this on Kat's blog - 3 bedroom bungalow - the other day I thought I'd start to take part in her Dear So and So linky.  It's quite therapeutic...

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Dear Washing Basket

How come, even when I've emptied you out completely, as soon as I've turned my back you're full again.

Yours Washer Woman

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Dear New Neighbours

If you drive your car over our front lawn one more time when getting out of your driveway I'll take some scissors to your pot plants.  Learn to drive!

Yours

Disgruntled Neighbours

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Dear Cancer

Why don't you just f*** off and leave my lovely friends and family alone.

Yours

Hurting Lots

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Dear Scientists

Please find a cure for cancer quickly.

Yours

Hurting Lots

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Dear Hannah

My lovely friend, thank you for the wonderful Fish Finger Butty and Cider night you hosted at your house last night.  Sorry I wasn't on top form.

Love Heather xxxx

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Dear Random Illness

I'd rather be not ill or properly ill than feel like I do at the moment.  Feeling completely exhausted all the time is not good.   Kindly vacate my body as you put a downer on my night last night.

Yours Ill Person

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Dear Magners Cider

I'm sorry I didn't finish you all last night but blame Random Illness.

Yours Lightweight

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Dear Twitter

Thanks for being there with new friends and old to cheer me up when I'm feeling blue.

Yours

@SAHMlovingit

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Dear Blog Readers

I love you all, now go write some letters and link up!

Love Me x

Twitter World - The Extended Friday Follow #ff

Ella from Notes From Home has invited people, as part of the Friday Club Carnival, to blog about Twitter today and talk about who they follow and why.

The thing is, for me, I have only recently gotten into using Twitter despite opening my account a while back.  I wanted to see what all the fuss was about but I just 'didn't get it' at first so I didn't use the account.

As someone who used to pretty much live and breathe Facebook it was a big step for me to deactivate my Facebook account but I did it back in September and I haven't looked back since.   It pushed me to jump on the Twitter train and I'm glad I did.  I find Facebook can be rather intrusive, whereas Twitter is quick.  It doesn't consume your life with long-winded status updates, hundreds of photo albums and wall posts.

The thing about Twitter is you need to get yourself out there and meet new people, you need to tweet, you need to answer peoples tweets but most of all I think you need to polite (e.g. thank people for following you, thank people who give you a shout out or retweet etc.)  All these little things go a long way.

If you haven't got a Twitter account I highly recommend it.  You can follow celebrities, find out all the latest gossip but most importantly meet new people and have a lot of laughs.

Here are just a small handful of people I've followed for a while (in no particular order) and why:

• @shitmydadsays - A famous twitter feed started in 2009 by a young guy called Justin who tweets funny and random quotes his Dad says on various subjects.

• I'm a BIG lover of comedy so I follow @daraobriain, @MrEdByrne, @Herring1967, @Serafinowicz, @mrTonyLaw and the lovely @SarahMillican75.  Sarah has 'retweeted' me a couple of times too *proud face*.  I follow so many comedians I can't possibly mention them all.

• @hotpatooties - Dawn Porter, journalist and presenter and all-round fabulous woman with a big heart who you would just love to be your best friend.  Her tweets can be so random and funny they make me giggle a lot and she's the person I most look forward to in my Twitter feed.  I've had a few small conversations with her on Twitter and she's lovely.  She follows me too *another proud face*

• @flounderingsahm - I've been following Tina for a long while now and she was my initial inspiration for taking the plunge into the world of blogging. Like me, she's a SAHM but unlike me she is very up on her technology, I've gained a lot from reading her articles.

• @lauraloveday - I think Laura started following me after we shared some banter over the last series of X Factor.  She's a lovely girl, very warm, friendly and very very quick-witted.

• Finally, I would like to give a shout out to one of my best friends Claire, @clairepennphoto and her fab husband Tim, @mrparsley.  Claire has an amazing natural talent for photography and Tim has an amazing natural talent for witty remarks - he's the only reason I continued to watch X Factor.

Since I've started blogging (all of 2 weeks now) I've come to use Twitter more and more and have recently met some fantastic people online.  I'm just sorry I can't mention everyone but I'll be getting them all with a traditional #ff at some point in the near future.  I can be a bit picky about who I follow (oooh get me!) so EVERYONE in my follow list is definitely worth checking out :)

Here are the other entries in this Twitter Carnival:

Nova at Cherished By Me posts Tweet Tweet

Hayley at Simply Hayley posts Twitter :: Tips to stay safe!

Cass at The Diary of a Frugal Family posts Twitterholics Anonymous….

Ghostwritermummy posts Twitter

Kelly from Domestic Goddesque posts The Twitterverse

Maggy at Red Ted Art posts Nothing To Do with Anything and Everything.

Ella at Notes From Home posts her Twitter for Beginners - 5 tips to getting started.

Tweeties image (top) by Chris Wallace