#MeAndMine - A Family Portrait (January 2015)

Things were supposed to be less busy after the hectic last quarter of 2014.

I had plans.

Plans for my family and plans for my blog (I still haven't written about my 40th Birthday Party in October!).

TC is settled at play school meaning I have two mornings a week (if not more thanks to my parents) that I could use for blogging. 

That time has not been forthcoming.

January has passed by quicker than December and I find myself taking a couple of selfies the day before Me and Mine is due to go live. Doesn't help that Matt broke the lens of my 'proper' camera just after Christmas so I'm limited to my phone at the moment.

The old me would have got down about it. Been annoyed that I haven't been more organised but, you know what? I don't feel it. I'm in a wonderful place in my life right now. We are living in our dream home, I have amazing best friends and I've met some amazing neighbours who I've become close to, the children are happy and healthy and I'm just loving life - despite it being so hectic.

I love spending quality time with the kids and, as of the next two nights, I'll be spending quality time with my gorgeous husband.

Exactly 11 years ago today I went on a 'blind date' with a man I met on an online dating website just 5 days earlier. Little did I know I would find my soul mate. My one true love. My best friend. My lover. My life. 

Matt.

Also, little did I know that exactly 3 years on from that first date he would ask me to marry him over a romantic dinner and a beautiful emotional outpouring.

We should have had a break away last year to mark 10 years from our first date but one of my besties was having a Hen Weekend and I didn't really feel ready to leave TC with anyone else but Matt for 2 nights at that point. 

This year though, we are going away.

To York.

I haven't been there for absolutely years and I cannot wait.

We have a luxury apartment right next to York Minster. We have bubbly and chocolate and we have each other. From tomorrow lunch time until Monday lunchtime. 

Bliss.

2014 was a year that something happened I didn't ever think was possible - Matt and I became closer than we ever had. We have always had a fantastic relationship but last year it just went from amazing to absolutely out of this world.

I love him so much.

I know we will miss the kids but this time is important.

Anyway, before I have you all throwing up, I'll fill you in on this months photographs. After we picked MC up from school yesterday we went to our local Starbucks for babycino's and shortbread as a treat as we won't be back until Monday afternoon. MC had run out of school all excited as she'd brought 'Fflic a Fflac' the school Welsh puppets home. She has to fill in a diary of her adventures with them this weekend as return it to school on Monday - all written IN WELSH! 

I'm smiling on the photos but inside I was crying at the stress of having to organise the diary in advance! My parents are having the children but I didn't want them to have the pressure of trying to help Freya as their Welsh is pretty much non-existent. Of all the weekends for her to bring them home!

Obviously Fflic and Fflac had to get in on our photographs and even managed to take them over!

Here's to a less stressful February.

7 Years

7 years of happiness

7 years of love

7 years of fun

7 years of desire

7 years of laughter

7 years of amazing!

7 years on and I still feel exactly the same as the day I said I do.

18th May 2007.

A small intimate wedding ceremony (performed by my sister) at the registry office followed by a meal.

It was perfect for us.

The engagement proposal just 3 and a half months earlier. These words spoken over dinner out, celebrating 3 years of the say we first met.

"You must know how much I love you, Heather. I can't imagine you not being in my life. I want to spend it with you. Will you marry me?"

"You're shitting me?" was my reply and we both laughed hard. I was a bit shocked!

Then he said "I'd like a marriage, not a wedding".

Another reason why I love him so much.

They call this time the '7 year itch'. Well, I'm not itchy in the slightest so no scratching needed either.

7 years

7 years!

It feels like so much longer - in the best possible way.

It feels like Matt has always been in my life.

7 years of perfect.

Here's to the next 7.

#MeAndMine - A Family Portrait (January 2014) The 10 Years Today Edition

I'll admit it, this was a last minute post. Written at 7pm before I went out last night. Two quick photos taken before we put the kids to bed and I escaped for a meal out with my neighbours.

"Quick, everyone on our bed!" I shouted.

"Why?"

"Because mummy needs a photo".

Then Matt chips in, "Oh I look a mess, my hair looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell! Can we do it another time?"

"No!"

"I'm not doing it' he says

"Fine!"

He knows from my tone what to say.

"Ok then, let's do it" he grumbles but also laughing.

10 years ago today I met up for a first date with a guy I grew to knew on an online dating site. 10 years of happiness, laughter, love and attraction. I love him more today than I have ever loved him - it sounds corny but my love does grow stronger for him with time.

In 10 years we've only had one really bad argument where we've really had a go at each other. I don't think that's bad going?

It's been 10 years but it seems like much longer, in a good way.

In those 10 years we've moved house twice, travelled to some amazing places, married and had two beautiful children.

This weekend I'm going to miss my family like crazy. I am going to London on one of my besties hen weekends. It's bad timing with our anniversary but I'm also feeling very emotional about Matilda Mae's anniversary on Sunday.

But I know that my wonderful friends will take care of me and when I return on Sunday my wonderful family will be waiting for me.

There's not much more a girl could ask for.

Love Is...Denying Your Wife Chocolate (Apparently!)

I love my husband.

I mean really love him.

I love how he takes care of our family. I love how he loves me and the kids so much. I love how he is the one who baths the kids and puts them to bed more than me. I love how much he does for them. I love how successful he is in everything he does. I love how we connect and I love how our relationship is full of love and laughter.

Yup, I love him.

There's something I don't love though.

He has a major sweet tooth and a particular fondness for chocolate.

I'm told quite frequently by his parents about how, when he had moved into a house on his own (just before we met), his family went to visit him. His Grandma made him a big chocolate cake. He made them all a cup of tea and never offered them a slice of cake. No, not even a crumb.

I've experienced his mild possessiveness over chocolate occasionally during our 9 years together but nothing prepared me for last night.

He's just started a new job and was away for 3 days. He returned last night full of talk about his new job. He told me tales of going to a meeting in Edinburgh (somewhere we go each Christmas) and how it wasn't the same without me and the kids. Then he told me tales of how his new boss had to buy a birthday present for his partner whilst they were up there. Apparently he walked into a jewellers and thought nothing of spending £6,000 on a Rolex for her.

So when I saw my husband had returned with a large Thornton's carrier bag I was hopeful. I don't need an overpriced watch or expensive presents from him. Sure, the iPad he surprised me with for Mother's Day was nice but I'm more than happy with just a small gesture of affection occasionally.

I was hopeful for some scrummy chocolate. Hormonal and tired after caring for 2 children for almost 72 hours I was looking forward to a treat!

He pulled out a chocolate ghost for MC and she was delighted.

"I can't wait to climb into bed and chill with you" he says to me. That's not code for doing the 'bad thing' by the way *cough* That means sit in bed, watch some comedy on TV, snuggle up and...chill!

Nothing came out the bag though. I guessed he was saving it for a surprise later.

So later on, after both kids are fast asleep, I go into the room to find him already eating the chocolate. The evidence Thornton's carrier bag is on the floor.

"Oooh lovely. Share the wealth." I say to him.

"There is no wealth" he replies...half joking - half not. Stuffing his face with more chocolate from the bag.

I laugh. "Come on".

"Fine" he says in part disgust "Take my favourite chocolates from me".

At this point I realise as this conversation is progressing he's still eating. I also realise he's eating as many as he can and quickly as he can. You would swear he was attempting the Guinness Book of World Records for the most Thornton's chocolates someone can shove in their cakehole in one sitting.

Then he says "Ok, you can have these last two as I've got this other bag I'm opening". He then proceeds to get a fresh bag for himself and passes me two measly chocolates looking rather sad and lonely in the bottom of the bag he's devoured.

That's the point I gave him the bag back and told him it was too late and I didn't want his precious chocolate.

My revenge?

I've been to the shop today and bought 2 boxes of mint Matchmakers (another of his favourites) and I'm going to eat every last one to myself.

The moral of the story? Don't ever deny a woman chocolate.

He's lucky I didn't slice his balls off*




*I wouldn't really slice his balls off nor do I condone this kind of behaviour. Maybe just once a month.

He's Definitely My Favourite

This post has actually been in the pipeline for a while. I've touched on how I met my husband, Matt in one of my very first blog posts but it's now time to tell the whole story so my daughter has a record of it.

I was married first time around at the age of 22 and divorced by 28...thankfully with no children involved. After a brief spell living with my best friend when we first separated and then renting a house in Chester for almost 2 years with a guy (purely platonic), I finally bought my own little two-bed terrace in the October I turned 29. A perfect place for just me and my little dog Betty.

Since my marriage broke down I'd become involved with a guy I used to work with. Okay, we were basically 'f**k buddies'. There, I said it. It's out there now, ain't no denying it. So shoot me? I'm not proud, it's a part of my life I'd rather forget.

At the time he lived and worked in London but would come up to Chester at weekends occasionally or I'd go down there.  I'd have the odd relationship with other guys and he'd become insanely jealous but he never wanted to commit to having a proper serious relationship with me.

If he knew I was with a guy he'd keep texting or ringing me and it became really awkward but still I'd let him do it.  I'd be angry at him but he had a way with the words and a simple charm, a look and a kiss that would melt my heart and make me run to him.  No bloke ever took my attention away from him and I hated that.  I began to tire of his hold over me but I just couldn't break free - he was like a drug.

I don't know whether I was feeling lonely after New Year that year or what but I decided to join an online dating site. I think at the time I just wanted to see what would happen and have a little fun and I picked January to do it!  I chatted to a lot of blokes on the messaging service and filtered out a lot of weirdos.  I arranged to meet a guy for coffee in town one afternoon and, as much as we enjoyed eachothers company, we knew it wasn't going to turn into anything so after a brew and a natter we went out separate ways.

I'd done it.  I'd actually met up with a guy on the Internet, I felt brave finally! I was off the starting blocks!

A young Matt and a young Betty

The website had a 'favourites' folder where you could mark people in your favourites but what made it great was you could see who had added you to their favourites.  When I discovered this feature I was amazed to see I had a lot of guys who obviously liked me....I went through them.  I then came across this guy called Matt who had added me a few days earlier but he hadn't contacted me.  Why had he added me to 'favourites' but not contacted me?  He was definitely my favourite of the favourites!

What had I got to lose?  I typed out a message to him...

"So, were you just going to add me to favourites and not contact me then?"

I may as well not pussy foot about!

A couple of days later he messaged me back saying he'd been away and busy with work and that he did plan to contact me.

And so the messages continued. We just clicked so much I couldn't believe it. I couldn't wait to get home to check my emails to see if I had a message.  We then decided to swap phone numbers.  He called me and we spent 2.5 hours chatting away about anything and everything.  I rang him the next night and again, we spent over 2 hours talking - the conversation just didn't stop.  We had to meet.  Problem was he lived 100 miles away in Derby.

He then contacted me to say he'd drive up that Saturday night (31st January) and we'd go out.

I was so nervous but also SO excited.  We agreed to meet at a neutral place not far from my house and then we went into town.  We went to Zizzi's for a bite to eat and then out for a few drinks around town (obviously he wasn't drinking though).  The conversation just kept flowing and by my 3rd vodka I was willing him to kiss me - he didn't.

We drove back to my house and I invited him in.  We sat on the sofa and talked until 2am.  Then he put his drink down and said "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" I said, wondering what it was going to be

"Can I kiss you?" he smiled.

"Yes" I breathed.

The first time he met
my family at a wedding

Then he leaned over, took my face in his hands and kissed me.  It melted me right there and then.  The best kiss ever.

I wanted him to stay.  He wanted to stay.  But neither of us really pushed anything. He said he'd better get back as it would take him a while and with that, he drove home.  I waited until he text me at 4am when he got back home safely and fell asleep the happiest I'd felt in a long time.

He then asked me if I wanted to visit him the next weekend.  I was ecstatic and couldn't wait - I even booked the Friday afternoon off work.

I'd been so wrapped up in this little bubble of happiness that I was brought back down to earth with a bang when my FB contacted me on the Tuesday. He said he was up in Manchester on the Wednesday night and he wanted me to join him at the hotel.  I said yes to get him off my back but I had absolutely no intention of going.  That Wednesday he rang me to ask what time I'd be there and I told him that I wasn't coming.  When he asked why I told him I'd met someone special.  He wasn't happy.  He tried to wear me down - even going so far as to picture message me with him looking all sad.  It was quite pathetic.

Somehow I just knew that things with Matt were going to be different.  I felt a strong connection with him and I didn't want anything to jeopardise that.  If I had gone to Manchester that night, Matt would never have known but I would have known and it would have tainted my relationship with him even though I'd only met him the once.  My FB tried desperately to wear me down over the next weeks that followed, even saying he'd start a serious relationship with me. Ha! I didn't crack at all - I thought too much of Matt already and I just knew he was 'the one'.

Friday 18th May 2007

In Hawaii

The upshot of it all is that Matt moved from Derby up here to live with me after only 5 months of dating as we couldn't stand only seeing eachother at weekends.  I sold my house and we bought a house together just over 5 years ago.  4 years ago in the January just gone he proposed to me over dinner here for our 'anniversary' (31st January - when we first met) and we were married in the May of that year - no hanging about for us!  Just after our first wedding anniversary I was pregnant with Mini Cheddar who turned 2 years old in March.

It's our 4th wedding anniversary on 18th May and I can honestly say I love him more and more each day.  I couldn't imagine him not being in my life.  I adore him with every part of me... he's my friend, my lover, my soul mate, my companion, my rock - my heartbeat.

Corny, but true.

I still have all the messages we originally sent each other, all the letters, notes and important things from our relationship in a box upstairs - he kept everything too.  Even now, when we are apart for even just one night he will leave me a note in my luggage if I'm away or a note on my pillow if he's away.

I love him completely.

I was going to post this for our wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks but the very lovely SuperAmazingMum and ManicMum have started a new 'Peeping Tom' meme and they bullied me into joining up!