A Day Of Love - The Matilda Mae Welly Walk #MMWellyWalk

Just over 9 months ago a community was rocked.

Family and friends were heartbroken.

And a family was torn apart.

I still struggle to believe what happened to Matilda Mae. I always knew life could be so painfully cruel but I never realised just how much until I heard the news that lunchtime 3rd February.

Baby Tilda's death has had such an impact on so many people. Not just family and friends of Jennie but strangers who heard about what's happened.

I've mentioned briefly before just how much of an impact it had, and continues to have, on me. TC is just a month older than Tilda. Whenever he does something new I feel happy but a part of my heart aches a little...I struggle with my emotions knowing that a friend is missing her baby girl with every part of her body and soul. Each and every milestone lost. Never to be.

I'm going to openly admit now that I've been struggling lately. You will notice that I have been absent from my blog. Even though I often find blogging therapeutic I haven't wanted to blog a 'woe is me' post. Why should I be so sad? I still have my baby boy. My life is good. I should be happy, right?

But like many people far and wide I can't help it.

I've known the Welly Walk was coming. I knew that the date was such an emotional milestone for Jennie. The day her baby girl has been gone for longer than she was alive.

It's been pulling at my heart.

We put our names down to go to The Welly Walk pretty much from the start. I knew we couldn't miss it, despite the distance from home. I wanted to be there. To see Jennie again, to show our support, to honour baby Tilda and raise more money for The Lullaby Trust.

It was an incredible day.

It was a sea of pink and purple. Stars and hearts were everywhere. Family and friends pulled together to help Jennie create something truly amazing.

Something beautiful.

Just like Matilda Mae.

I spoke at the end of the day about how Tilda had witnessed love in abundance in her short life.

That love was evident everywhere on Saturday.

It completely filled Beale Park.

You could see it in every look. Every smile. Every tear.

I don't need to go into detail about the day. I think the few photos I'll share speak for themselves.

Family, friends and strangers created something very special on Saturday. Every person there, every brand and everyone who couldn't attend but showed support through donations, tweets and messages should be very proud.

Very proud indeed.

Matilda's legacy lives on and this is just the beginning!

So many families. So many friendships. So many memories. 

So much love.

All because of one special little girl.

Matilda Mae

2nd May 2012 - 2nd February 2013

9 months here. 9 months gone. But never forgotten.

I'm Going To BritMums Live!

You know me? Always late to the party, especially recently.

In fairness though, this linky made an appearance a couple of day before my extended holiday and, what with drowning in boxes since my return 11 days ago, I'm just glad I'm able to get this up 4 days before the event.

Yes, I'm going to BritMums Live!

Yaye!

I booked the ticket when they first came available. In hindsight, had I known I would be going to Orlando for over 3 weeks and moving house at the same time, I probably wouldn't have signed up.

But I'm so glad I did!

It's going to be stressful and I'll probably be completely knackered (I'll be the one snoozing in the corner), I haven't even glanced at the agenda yet but I can't wait to wrap my arms around some old friends and meet some new ones. There are people going that I have known for over 2 years in the online world who I class as 'friends' but I've never actually met in person. How mad is that?

Anyway, enough ramble. Here goes with the linky...

Name: Heather

Blog: SAHM Loving It

Twitter ID: @sahmlovingit

Height: Just under 5ft 6" (the good thing about moving house is there's a tape measure to hand!)

Hair: Longish - highlighted. Probably with roots as I won't have time to get to the hairdresser.

Eyes: Two. Brown.

Is this your first blogging conference?
No, but it may as well be as I didn't attend any last year so it's 2 years since my last one.

Are you attending both days?
Most definitely - the more days I can avoid packing boxes, the better.

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live?
Giving very special people very special hugs. I'm also looking forward to staying in a luxury boutique hotel with my lovely friend Photopuddle (we both deserve a treat) and I'm looking forward to meeting her - although it seems like we know each other inside out pretty much. We have separate rooms but will probably be in and out of each others. I may take some wine to calm our nerves before the conference.

What are you wearing?
Clothes. Whatever hasn't been packed for the move!

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live?
Apart from meeting old and new friends, I'm hoping to reignite the spark I had for my blog sometime ago. The two of us have become quite distanced from each other in the last 6-12 months.

Tell us one thing about you that not everyone knows
That's a toughie as I think I've blurted out lots of secrets on this blog. Erm, ooh I know...I can't stand it if there's a plug socket with no plug in it but the switch is on. It makes me twitchy.

A Difficult Post

I find my head full of thoughts right now.

Thoughts that are unimaginable.

Yet again I find myself writing about something so terrible and tragic that it doesn't bear thinking about but thinking about it is all I find myself doing.

Yesterday I spent from lunch time in a numb and frozen state of mind. Yesterday I found myself practically glued to the sofa just watching or cuddling my children. Yesterday I kept getting asked "Why do you keep crying Mummy?" by MC.

Again I find myself writing about a wonderful blogger who I've met in the flesh. Someone who is just as lovely in real life as she is on her blog. Someone who was pregnant at the same time as me. Someone who shared a pregnancy journey together. Someone who had a beautiful daughter so full of smiles and giggles and only a month younger than my gorgeous boy. Someone who has been hit by a tragedy that's just too cruel for words.

Once again hundreds of bloggers felt only a fraction of the excruciating pain and sorrow that Jennie and her husband, David, must have felt this weekend when their beautiful daughter, Matilda Mae, passed away suddenly in her cot at the age of just 9 months.

It's a difficult post to write but I have to write it. I know I'm rambling already but I just can't seem to think straight. I've said before that blogging is a way of not only documenting life but finding some comfort through writing about thoughts and feelings. I know Jennie is taking comfort from all the well wishes and support shown by this amazing community through blogs, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

My blog silence last week was due to being ill. Not just me but Matt and TC were really poorly too (and MC had been poorly the week before). We are still not right but, thankfully, TC has steroids and antibiotics and is on the mend. If I'm completely honest, I spent Friday night sat on the stairs sobbing as I felt really low. I was feeling unwell and exhausted, Matt was laid up in bed and TC just would not settle at all. All the time I kept trying to think of Kerry passing away at the end of last year and how I said life was too short to sweat the small stuff. All the time I was trying to pull myself into a positive state of mind.

This news has rocked me completely, as I know it has done everyone, and again I find myself unable to sleep and giving myself a good shake to remember what's important.

Life is so fragile 

Life is so short 

Life is for living 

Life is for embracing 

Life is for family 

Life is for friends 

Live is for forgiving 

Life is for forgetting 

Life is for sharing 

Life is for caring 

Life - don't take it for granted

RIP Matilda Mae

Sleep tight beautiful angel

xxx

#SilentSunday 81

Inspired by...

The Power Of Bloggers #Healing4Kerry

Every blogger has that moment.

The moment when they want to say something but the words just don't seem to come easily.

This isn't one of those posts.

Although this is a hard thing to blog about, the words flow easy because of the subject.

Kerry.

AKA Multiple Mummy.

Kerry has been a big part of my blogging life right from the start. She started blogging just a few weeks after I did so we instantly hit it off. We entered the world of blogging together and never looked back. Her blog became an huge success because of her being so lovely, genuine and down to earth. We would spend ages chatting on Twitter and striking up an online friendship. Six months later we finally got to meet at Cybermummy 2011.

It's always the same when you finally meet someone you've 'known' online. You wonder if they will be the same lovely person in the flesh as they are online. I've blogged before about how the online world has brought me some amazing friendships - it even brought me a gorgeous husband!

Well, Kerry is one of the many wonderful bloggers who totally live up to their online persona.

She's beautiful, funny, genuine, kind and lovely.

However, something happened this Summer that made me, once again, realise just how precious and fragile life is.

Kerry suffered a brain haemorrhage at the end of July.

The whole blogging community was in total shock.

Kerry was in a coma for some time and continues to have setbacks. Unable to speak or feed herself, Kerry's husband (Multiple Daddy) is doing an amazing job of raising their 3 gorgeous little ones - and managing to keep up Kerry's amazing blog.

Today, Liska (AKA NewMumOnline) has asked bloggers to hand their blogs over to Kerry and come together to pray, wish, meditate etc. to send positive thoughts. I'm not a religious person but Kerry is constantly in my thoughts and my heart aches for her and her beautiful family. I wish with all my heart that her rehab goes well and she does not suffer anymore setbacks. We are a month away from Christmas and the best present ever would be that Kerry makes dramatic progress along her healing pathway.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - bloggers are awesome. As a collective we have the power to make a difference. I've seen it countless times across blogs and twitter, we make make waves for positive change, we spread the word about things, we get our voices heard. Today we are using ours to shout out for #Healing4Kerry. We need to believe that we can make a difference.

So please, join with me and the rest of the blogging community as we join together to make that wish a reality for Kerry. Please spare some time on Twitter at 22.00GMT today using the hashtag #Healing4Kerry and send your wishes or prayers her way.

This post was written as part of the #Healing4Kerry Blog Hop

Silent Sunday #27

The Gallery - April

I have to admit, when I saw the The Gallery prompt this week I was in two minds if this was going to be the first week I'd skip it as nothing immediately sprang to mind for April.  

However, the more I thought about the prompt the more I knew what I could do and I knew I wanted to include a top tune. So if you fancy being lifted a little on this Wednesday morning then feel free to click play...

You see, April for me has been somewhat a turning point in my recent mood in life.  April has brought with it good weather which always helps but lately I've come to realise what really matters. 

Those who know me know that I adore my friends and I'm extremely loyal to them - not just my best and closest friends but all my friends so when one let me down last year it hurt. 

A lot. 

Someone I thought was a good friend turned out to be someone else - she wasn't the friend I thought she was and I've really struggled to understand it all.  I don't think a week or two went by since last September/October where I hadn't thought about how she hurt me.  

Then April came. That was the month for me.  The month where I realised I'd dealt with it, a whole month where I didn't even spare 'her' a single thought. 

I believe that looking up and seeing that glorious blue sky in the past month has something to do with making me appreciate what I've got. I now realise that the good friends, the honest and trustworthy ones, are the ones that really matter in my life and that's what I should focus on.

So Hello Mister Blue Sky...

Many people will walk in and out of your life, 

but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart

- Eleanor Roosevelt

And for those without sound:

Sun is shinin' in the sky

There ain't a cloud in sight

It's stopped rainin' ev'rybody's in a play

And don't you know

It's a beautiful new day hey,hey

Runnin' down the avenue

See how the sun shines brightly in the city

On the streets where once was pity

Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey

Mister blue sky please tell us why

You had to hide away for so long

Where did we go wrong?

Hey you with the pretty face

Welcome to the human race

A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin'

And today is the day we've waited for

Hey there mister blue

We're so pleased to be with you

Look around see what you do

Ev'rybody smiles at you

Mister blue sky, mister blue sky

Mister blue sky

Mister blue, you did it right

But soon comes mister night creepin' over

Now his hand is on your shoulder

Never mind I'll remember you this

I'll remember you this way

Mister blue sky please tell us why

You had to hide away for so long

Where did we go wrong?

Hey there mister blue

We're so pleased to be with you

Look around see what you do

Ev'rybody smiles at you

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Now head on over and check out all the other entries...

Claire Penn Photography...Plus a fantastic 25% off at Etsy!

Let me introduce you to one of my closest friends Claire.

Apart from being one of the most amazing friends ever she's also one extremely talented photographer.  She never ceases to amaze me with the beauty and creativity of her photos and inspires me each day.

Based in Chester, she's a natural light on-location custom portrait photographer covering mainly the North West and North Wales but has also traveled a lot further afield - that's just how in demand she is!

Just one look at her website Claire Penn Photography will show you the amazing photographs she has taken since setting up her business a couple of years ago. She's also taken some gorgeous photographs of Mini Cheddar for me - 2 of which I've displayed here.  You can view some more here.

I've used Venture Photography once before and although they are good (studio based though), the price that they charge for one framed photograph of any size is absolutely ridiculous.  I shudder to think of what we paid for the photograph we have in our lounge.  Claire offers something unique, no garish studio lights - just her the camera, natural light and creativity and talent and most of all, excellent value for money.

As a lover of photography myself, I know how much better natural light is at creating stunning photographs.

I know Claire is my friend but I can honestly say she offers a fantastic service for your portrait needs.  I wouldn't recommend her like this if I didn't think she was amazing.  I've recommended her to a few friends now and they have all been ecstatic with the results.

Please visit her website where you will find everything you need to know.  But be warned, you'll get completely lost in there looking at all the gorgeous photographs!

In addition to this, Claire also offers her Etsy Shop where you can buy some of her fine art photography prints at incredible prices. Also, she's currently offering a fantastic 25% off prices using the discount code 'ANNIVERSARY25'. I have attached just a small example below of the fine art photography prints but make sure you have a look at the rest at her Etsy Shop.

Please take a look around her shop as I'm sure you'll find something you will love and don't forget to claim your 25% off!

You can also follow Claire on Twitter at @clairepennphoto or become a fan of her Facebook page here.

Remember to say hello and tell her I sent you!

Fine art photography examples from Claire Penn Photography

This is not a sponsored post. I received no payment or goods. All words and views are my own

F is for...Friends

It's quite apt that I'm posting this on International Women's Day 2011!  My friends are all amazing women.

I've mentioned my friends in quite a few of my blog posts before.  That's because friends are so important in my life.  Friends are the people you choose to share your life with you - whereas you're kind of stuck with your family. Thankfully though, I'm blessed with a great family.

Friends are the people in life who should always be there for you, when you're happy, when you're sad, when you're excited and when you're angry.  They will be the first people to congratulate you on good news and the first person to offer you their shoulder when you're upset. They'll also be the first person to hold your hair back when you throw up after too much vodka...but that's another story!

I've known friends who drop off the face of the earth when a new man comes along in their life and I've always tried not to be one of those people.  My husband doesn't really 'do' friends.  He's a bit of a loner in that sense.  He has is best friend who lives over 100 miles away but other than that all his friends are partners of my friends and he very rarely sees them.  It's the only bone on contention I have with him really as I just don't understand it.

My friends are all fantastic and I love each and every one of them dearly.  I'm not mentioning any names as only one of them reads this blog occasionally.  I've kept my blog quiet from my closest friends and family...for now anyway.

My best friend and I have been friends for 30 years this year.  It's hard to believe really, especially as our lives have taken us on totally different paths. She had her Son at the age of 19 whereas I was out every night pubbing and clubbing.  Now her Son turns 18 this year and she is the one out most nights whereas I'm in most nights with my (almost) 2 year old.  In our adult years we've only ever had 2 disagreements.  One of which, was last year.  But you know what? They've just made our friendship even stronger and I'm so grateful for that.  I'd be lost without her.

Then I have my close set of 3 girls.  We used to be really close but we don't see eachother as often anymore but when we do get together it's like we've never been apart. I love them all so much and couldn't imagine my life without them. I've known them 20 years, 18 years and 13 years.   We are all so different but the greatest of friends.   One of them has emigrated to Australia and I miss her but we keep in touch via the occasional email, text and Skype.  Hurrah for modern technology!

Last, but by no means least, have my 'ho's'.  My fabulous ho's.   I used to work with the 3 of them and we've have known eachother over 8 years (I think?) but I feel like I've known them longer.  We all started calling eachother 'ho' as a term of endearment (honest!) and it just stuck.  We try and get away together each year, just overnight somewhere - we've done London a few times, Buxton and other places. We also meet regularly for coffee catch-ups and always have a massive blow out night out at Christmas. We just all click together so well despite our age differences....the oldest is 43, then we have 38, I'm 36 and the youngest is 26 (but to be honest she acts the oldest!).

All these girls mentioned in this post are my nearest and dearest.  The girls I turn to when I need a laugh or I need a hug.  I'd be devastated if any one of them was no longer part of my life.  They are my rocks and they have my heart completely.

I really want my daughter to understand the importance of friendship which I touched on in this post. Friends are such an amazing part of life and I want her to have the same love and support in life from her friends as I do in mine.


Photo credit top right: vichie81

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