Monday, 4 February 2013

A Difficult Post

I find my head full of thoughts right now.

Thoughts that are unimaginable.

Yet again I find myself writing about something so terrible and tragic that it doesn't bear thinking about but thinking about it is all I find myself doing.

Yesterday I spent from lunch time in a numb and frozen state of mind. Yesterday I found myself practically glued to the sofa just watching or cuddling my children. Yesterday I kept getting asked "Why do you keep crying Mummy?" by MC.

Again I find myself writing about a wonderful blogger who I've met in the flesh. Someone who is just as lovely in real life as she is on her blog. Someone who was pregnant at the same time as me. Someone who shared a pregnancy journey together. Someone who had a beautiful daughter so full of smiles and giggles and only a month younger than my gorgeous boy. Someone who has been hit by a tragedy that's just too cruel for words.

Once again hundreds of bloggers felt only a fraction of the excruciating pain and sorrow that Jennie and her husband, David, must have felt this weekend when their beautiful daughter, Matilda Mae, passed away suddenly in her cot at the age of just 9 months.

It's a difficult post to write but I have to write it. I know I'm rambling already but I just can't seem to think straight. I've said before that blogging is a way of not only documenting life but finding some comfort through writing about thoughts and feelings. I know Jennie is taking comfort from all the well wishes and support shown by this amazing community through blogs, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

My blog silence last week was due to being ill. Not just me but Matt and TC were really poorly too (and MC had been poorly the week before). We are still not right but, thankfully, TC has steroids and antibiotics and is on the mend. If I'm completely honest, I spent Friday night sat on the stairs sobbing as I felt really low. I was feeling unwell and exhausted, Matt was laid up in bed and TC just would not settle at all. All the time I kept trying to think of Kerry passing away at the end of last year and how I said life was too short to sweat the small stuff. All the time I was trying to pull myself into a positive state of mind.

This news has rocked me completely, as I know it has done everyone, and again I find myself unable to sleep and giving myself a good shake to remember what's important.

Life is so fragile 
Life is so short 
Life is for living 
Life is for embracing 
Life is for family 
Life is for friends 
Live is for forgiving 
Life is for forgetting 
Life is for sharing 
Life is for caring 
Life - don't take it for granted

candle for Matilda Mae

RIP Matilda Mae
Sleep tight beautiful angel


Charlotte Taylor said...

It's such sad, sad news. I spent the weekend despairing over Wilbo's teething and lack of sleep. But last night, he slept through (so very rare) and I woke with a fright and ran to him. because I'd never sleep again if it meant my boy was safe. I can't even imagine what Jennie and her family are going through. Sleep tight Matilda Mae. xxx

LauraCYMFT said...

It is so, so sad. I can't imagine what Jennie and her family must be going through. I remember reading on FB that the kids' gran was coming to the UK for a month just a few weeks ago and this happens. So awful. Sleep well Matilda Mae x

Notmyyearoff said...

It is so very sad and I don't think I can still quite believe it. I only met Jennie and MM once but she was so so cute and lovely. It's made hug z that much tighter and step back and take a look at what I have and be grateful for it. Xx

Helpful Mum said...

Such awful news. I found myself in floods of tears last night and checked on my two twice in the night because I simply couldn't sleep. I can't begin to comprehend what they must be going through.

Mummyandthebeastie said...

Those words are so true and we shouldn't forget them. You know I have been feeling the same as you. What has happened to Jennie and her family is so so terrible. RIP beautiful Matilda Mae xxx

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indulge is malnourished to feed-bag ten days you can sick with sick I was a meagre spider climbed climb seaside send up scarcely [url=]beijing massage[/url] wench to grasp the neptune's a lot of

Mummy Beadzoid said...

Gorgeous and so so true xxx

HonestMum said...

Beautiful and so true, we are all grieving x

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