Family Frolics - Making Memories For Multiple Mummy

My dear blogger friend, Kerry (aka Multiple Mummy), passed away on this day exactly a year ago.

Such a lot of things have happened in that year.

Some happy and some so terribly sad.

One thing remains the same though and sticks with me, always.

Kerry's love for her family and getting out making memories.

It's her legacy. It's her 'Family Frolics'.

Kerry was only 30 years old. A healthy young woman with a husband an 3 small children. Kerry's passing rocked a community. Kerry and I called each other 'blogging sisters' as we started around about the same time. She was one of the friendliest and genuinely lovely bloggers I've ever met. Her passion for her family and her fellow blogging friends was second to none.

It's such a tragedy that her life was cut short so unexpectedly.

I hate to say we don't get a huge amount of time together as a family of four. We see the inlaws pretty much every other weekend and, up until the other month, Matt was playing football every Saturday. It meant we got 2 days a month together where we could spend a day interrupted.

Because Matt works so hard he'd want to spend those 2 days crashing out pretty much. He didn't want to be dashing out all the time and I didn't want to push him too much.

This year has been somewhat different.

Kerry's passing and then the sudden death of Matilda Mae earlier this year have changed me.

It's a change for the better.

Ultimately it was Kerry's comment on my blog that made us book to go back to Orlando this year. It has been Kerry's passing that has pushed me on with my blog. What better way than to leave a diary online for friends, family and, ultimately, your children when they are old enough to read.

Your life, your heart, your memories to be read and remembered for years to come.

I know I don't blog about things as much as I should do right now but we are creating memories and enjoying our time together and that, above all, is what matters.

So this year we've made more time for family frolics. There are too many to mention but…we enjoyed lots of snow, we went away on holiday. We dabbled in some messy play. We moved to a bigger house. We enjoyed the long hot summer. We had picnics out. We went to the cinema. We explored the local area. We went further afield.

But most importantly we made memories.

When we do anything as a family now I cherish the moments so much more. I take more photographs of us a family of 4 than I've ever taken before. I know that making time for family is important.

These are just a small handful for my blogging sister…

In memory of Kerry Farrow (aka Multiple Mummy)

16th April 1982 - 14th December 2012

Waiting Until The Kids Are 'Old Enough' For Walt Disney World?

If you are then I have one question for you...

Why, exactly?

Now, before I get into this blog post I just have to say that I know for a lot of people that going to Walt Disney World (that's 'world', not to be confused with the smaller - by a miles - Disney'Land's' across the globe) is a once in a lifetime experience.

I get that.

Flights out to Orlando, Florida are very expensive. We're lucky that we get practically free accommodation out there which makes up for it. I also understand that tickets for Disney and the other theme parks out there are very expensive for children over the age of 3 and adults. The first time we went, last year, was just before MC's 3rd birthday. This year we had to pay for her, as she was 4, and her tickets weren't much less than adult prices. Ouch. Thankfully though, TC was only 13.5 months old so he was free. I know next time we go (there will be a next time - we love it too much) it will be very expensive as we'll be paying for both children.

If you are going as a once in a lifetime trip then I would say wait*. Wait until your children are old enough to remember the holiday. Wait until they can go on all the rides. Wait until they are old enough to entertain themselves on the flight.

I have to admit, I was a little worried about taking TC over there. Those of you who read my pre-trip blog posts will know. However, I needn't have worried at all.

He absolutely loved it.

I mean really loved it.

Some people were a little shocked we were taking him over there. All of those people, however, are people who have never ever been there before.

Until you experience Walt Disney World, Orlando you can't even begin to understand just how utterly amazing it is. You can't understand just how immense it is and you certainly can't understand how it caters for all ages. From the very tiny to the very old.

It is, in our opinion, the happiest place on earth.

Sounds cheesy but it's true.

We knew it was going to be a good holiday when TC managed the 9.5 hour flight (without his own seat) by only sleeping 2 hours and managing to entertain himself for the remaining 7.5 hours without so much as a whimper.

With the flight over with I was worried about the heat. We left a pretty grim UK in mid-May and headed to heat that was to be an average of 30 degrees celsius everyday (with a heatwave of mid to high-30's to follow).

He coped amazingly. Although I have to say that taking a great pushchair and the awesome SnoozeShade helped. We also purchased a Mickey fan that clipped onto his pushchair. I won't say he didn't get incredibly hot and sweaty when he had his naps, he was dripping sometimes, but it didn't bother him.

We are lucky that (usually) TC is a happy little boy. He's really chilled, loves his sleep and his food and absolutely loves people. Walt Disney World was a real amazing experience for his senses.

He loved all the sights, sounds and smells. I don't think he stopped smiling for the 3 weeks we were there. It was such a great experience for him and he even started walking over there. He loved the characters (some more than others, admittedly - it seems Wreck-It-Ralph and Chip 'n Dale were his favourites) and they loved him. In fact, everyone loved him and commented on how cute he was. I know I'm totally biased but he is. He has one of the cheekiest grins ever.

When I say Disney caters for all ages, I'm not lying. There are so many family orientated rides there - especially at The Magic Kingdom - which even the tiniest of babies can go on. He absolutely loved all of them. His eyes were wide open and his smile like he'd slept with a coat hanger in his mouth.

I know he won't remember the holiday but we all will.

We have some absolutely incredible memories.

Memories that will be with us forever.

My advice if you are waiting to take the kids to Walt Disney World?

Don't.

Want a little bit of proof? I'll let a few of my photos (and these are just the ones from my iPhone) speak for themselves...

If you're planning a first time visit to Orlando then please make sure you check out my 'Beginners Guide To Orlando' post I wrote last year which is my most visited blog post of all time.




*Part of me wants to scream 'don't wait even if it will be a once in a lifetime trip'. You never know what life will throw at you and my 'Life's Too Short' post is testament to that. Today is a year ago that Kerry (aka MultipleMummy) fell ill. She was one of the loveliest and happiest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her blog comment from last year still sits at the forefront of my mind. What has happened to beautiful Matilda Mae (daughter of Jennie at Edspire) also weighs heavy on my mind as well as Tamsyn's (Anecdotes of a Manic Mum) husband, Alex. You really never know what life will send your way so make the most of it before it's too late.

Guest Post...The Little Gang In Paris - Se Souvenir Des Belles Choses

Françoise, actually started her blog in June 2012 after moving to Paris with an 18 month old and another on the way. However, she only blogged 3 posts before starting officially in March this year.

The Little Gang In Paris is her blog about all the stories of their life over the other side of the channel and she blogs in both French and English! There's commitment for you.

Having known and met Multiple Mummy, this heartfelt post by Françoise made me cry. I think everyone in the blogging community and beyond (Françoise is also a friend of Jennie) is feeling very sensitive at the the moment. 

The title of this post in English is 'Remember the beautiful things' but I think it sounds much better in French. Considering English is not her first language, this reads beautifully.

Se souvenir des belles choses

This week I have read a blog that I hadn't heard about before (I have started blogging very recently). It was Multiple Mummy's blog. As I didn't know it, I read the "About' page. A minute later I was reading the "tribute to my beautiful wife". I had already grown an empathy for this woman and a minute later I was reading that she has passed away recently. 

I was left in shock.

Life is frail, very fail. 

Most of the time, you don't know it.

Most of the time, you ignore it, you forget it, you just don't think about the fact that you can die unexpectedly.

If we are honest with ourselves, we can only picture ourselves alive for a long time surrounded by our family and children. 

We cannot imagine that we might not be there to witness our children's life.

We cannot imagine that they might not be there with us for the rest of our life.

Yet, we, or they, could die, tomorrow, in a month, in ten years. 

We forget that we are only human until ...  we lose someone we cherish. 

Over the last four years, I have lost my father. He died of a cancer. 

I have lost a very dear friend. He was murdered for who knows what reason last August. 

And recently, friends well known in the blogging community in the UK have lost their baby girl. 

This has left me in a very deep state of sadness that I find hard sharing with other people, This has left me wondering about the beauty and cruelty of life. 

Because there is definitely beauty in life : one of the truest experiences of it is giving birth.

But there is also cruelty : why would you die before you've even had the time to live ? Why would such people, with so much happiness in them, have to die so early ? 

Because this is the common point between my dad, Paul and Matilda : so much happiness, so much joie de vivre.  

It makes it so much harder to go on for their loved ones.

But as sad as I am - and I have never been so sad in my life - I want, I need, to learn something from these tragedies. And they really are tragedies to me. 

We are in charge of our children's childhood. 

Them having wonderful memories of it is all down to us making it happen.

I don't know if I will be able to look back in the future and say that I have become the mother I wanted to be.

But this is what I want to aim for. 

This is the portrayal of the mother I want to be. 

This is the mother I wish my children say I was if I was to die tomorrow : 

A mother who loved her children,

A mother who told them everyday she did,

A mother who they could talk to,

A mother they trusted enough to confide when things were not ok,

A mother who made them laugh,

A mother who gave them a sense of curiosity, 

A mother who gave them a taste for adventure,

A mother who built their selfconfidence,

A mother who made sure they understood life had to be enjoyed fully, 

A mother who made sure they understood that family matters,

A mother who built their relationship as brother and sister,

A mother who truly played with them,

A mother who danced and sung with them, 

A mother who took them to as many places as she could,

A mother who made things by herself for them to play with, for them to wear...

A mother who tried to communicate her passions with them, not necessarily for them to have these passions, but for them to have passions of their own, for them to be open-minded.

I don't mean to sound arrogant. 

I have a lot to do to become this person. 

I'm not sure I will succeed. 

But this will steer me in the right direction.

I have written this yesterday and I realize that the person I want to be for my children is the person my dad was for me. 

He really was an awesome father and I miss him dearly. 

You can find Françoise here
http://thelittleganginparis.blogspot.fr
https://twitter.com/Themafiainparis

A Difficult Post

I find my head full of thoughts right now.

Thoughts that are unimaginable.

Yet again I find myself writing about something so terrible and tragic that it doesn't bear thinking about but thinking about it is all I find myself doing.

Yesterday I spent from lunch time in a numb and frozen state of mind. Yesterday I found myself practically glued to the sofa just watching or cuddling my children. Yesterday I kept getting asked "Why do you keep crying Mummy?" by MC.

Again I find myself writing about a wonderful blogger who I've met in the flesh. Someone who is just as lovely in real life as she is on her blog. Someone who was pregnant at the same time as me. Someone who shared a pregnancy journey together. Someone who had a beautiful daughter so full of smiles and giggles and only a month younger than my gorgeous boy. Someone who has been hit by a tragedy that's just too cruel for words.

Once again hundreds of bloggers felt only a fraction of the excruciating pain and sorrow that Jennie and her husband, David, must have felt this weekend when their beautiful daughter, Matilda Mae, passed away suddenly in her cot at the age of just 9 months.

It's a difficult post to write but I have to write it. I know I'm rambling already but I just can't seem to think straight. I've said before that blogging is a way of not only documenting life but finding some comfort through writing about thoughts and feelings. I know Jennie is taking comfort from all the well wishes and support shown by this amazing community through blogs, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

My blog silence last week was due to being ill. Not just me but Matt and TC were really poorly too (and MC had been poorly the week before). We are still not right but, thankfully, TC has steroids and antibiotics and is on the mend. If I'm completely honest, I spent Friday night sat on the stairs sobbing as I felt really low. I was feeling unwell and exhausted, Matt was laid up in bed and TC just would not settle at all. All the time I kept trying to think of Kerry passing away at the end of last year and how I said life was too short to sweat the small stuff. All the time I was trying to pull myself into a positive state of mind.

This news has rocked me completely, as I know it has done everyone, and again I find myself unable to sleep and giving myself a good shake to remember what's important.

Life is so fragile 

Life is so short 

Life is for living 

Life is for embracing 

Life is for family 

Life is for friends 

Live is for forgiving 

Life is for forgetting 

Life is for sharing 

Life is for caring 

Life - don't take it for granted

RIP Matilda Mae

Sleep tight beautiful angel

xxx

Love Letter Straight From The Heart

Well, I thought it was straight from the 'drink' but nope, Matt wasn't drinking last night.

He's been away the past 2 nights. MC was ill Monday and Tuesday (yes, 4 days back in school and she's ill already!) and then TC decided to suddenly become intolerant to strawberries (I think) last night and spent an hour early on chundering his guts up.

Anyway, this morning I awoke to this email on my phone. I'm posting it so the kids and I have a record of just how incredible their Daddy is (and what a softie!).

From: Matt
Date: 15 January 2013 23:58:29 GMT
To: Heather
Subject: Hi

Hi only me.
For some reason I'm wide awake. Mind has gone into overdrive.

I'm also craving food, had a toby carvery for dinner as it's next door and I'm still hungry now.

But while I'm awake I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. 

I know life sort of takes over and with work and then the kids demanding time it's hard to make time to tell you this but you along with TC and MC are everything to me.

We would be lost without you, all the stuff you do for us, cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing etc. I know it doesn't do itself and I would hate for you to think I take it for granted. You also do an amazing job of bringing up the kids and the reason MC is so advanced is all down to you, I still find it hard to believe she is only 3 and I know TC will be the same.

You won't believe me but you look great and I find you even more attractive than when we first met given all we've been through together.

I am so lucky to have found you and really am looking forward to Disney again. It still hasn't sunk in yet that we are going again so soon but I can't wait.

We also need to book Upstairs at the Grill as a steak warmup prior to going.
Let's book that before the end of the month as I do miss quality time with you. I really enjoyed our trip to Liverpool together and perhaps when TC is a little older maybe we can go away for a night while the kids stay with your Mum and Dad.

I'd like us to go out at least once a month if not more, we haven't done The Stables and I'm not bothered about drinking so we can drive but just getting some time together would be nice.

Anyway hopefully TC is ok now and you are fast asleep.
I miss you all loads but should be home mid afternoon all being well tomorrow.

Love you always, see you tomorrow and in my dreams xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

M

If you read all of that you may need a sick bucket *passes a virtual one*

So, I guess posting this also answers the question from my last post. We are off to Florida again! It actually took almost a week of discussions but we know we've made the right decision.  It's a rather indulgent thing to do and I do feel guilty that we are going again given so many people go as a once in a lifetime trip but life is definitely too short to scrimp and save and sweat the everyday life. It's for living!

Can't wait until he's home later. This was an amazing email to wake up to. He's such a great husband and Daddy.

Well, either that or he just wants to get in my knickers tonight! ;-)

Taken Sept 2012

Life's Too Short

'Life's Too Short' is a phrase you often hear. It's a phrase that's heard when you can't make a decision on something, usually a treat, that has you battling the extra expense etc.

I'm facing such a battle at the moment.

Regular readers will know that last January, when I was 27 weeks pregnant with TC, we went to Orlando, Florida for 3 weeks. It was incredible. None of us wanted to come home, even after 3 weeks.

It was a fairly last minute decision for such a big holiday. A lot of people plan a trip over there years in advance but we booked it just a couple of months before. The thing about my husband is, he sees an opportunity and he grabs it with both hands. The company where he worked (he's since left) has a number of gorgeous houses and condos he could get for less than £100 a week - we are talking 3 and 4 bedrooms with swimming pools. He thought, once TC, was born it would be at least another 2 or 3 years, if not a lot longer, before we could do anything like it again so he went for it.

He's now looking at going back...

...this year!

I knew this January would be a bit hard. It's the anniversary of our trip and he keeps reliving it - as we all do. Even MC still talks about it now! I can't watch the videos of our trip without getting emotional about it all.

Anyway, it's no secret, Matt and I absolutely love to travel and since having children our travels have been slightly less adventurous - opting for a villa in Lanzarote or a farm in Tuscany over a Route 66 road trip or the Arctic Circle to see the Northern Lights. America is a great love of ours. We've been to many States (we both have family over there) and so to get the chance to go to Florida was a big treat!

The thing is, he can still get the cheap accommodation as he has a few shares in his old company so he logged on last night, on a whim, to check availability.

"Hey, if it's all booked then it wasn't meant to be" he laughed.

I'd heard this before. This is exactly how the conversation went just before we booked the last trip!

"It looks like the condo is available in May for 3 weeks".

Feck.

He then says he better just double check with them and drops them an email.

Then he's online looking at costs of flights and car hire. I go to bed last night with my head spinning.

6am this morning I'm woken by his voice.

"They've emailed me back. Those weeks are available".

I'm having quite a hard time with what to do for the best. I didn't think we'd be going again until maybe just before TC's 3rd birthday (the same age MC was when we took her), if not longer. I would love to go - it's an incredible place - but TC will only be 13/14 months old. I know he'd love it but he won't remember a thing about it. I'm not worried about the flights as, apart from the odd bout of bad teething, he's the worlds most chilled out little baby but I am worried about the heat for him.

However, one thing is eating away at me.

One thing is telling me to stop being silly and just DO IT!

A couple of weeks after we got back last time I wrote a post 'A Beginners Guide To Orlando And Walt Disney World'. It was a post that sparked quite a bit of attention and discussion on my blog and across Twitter. Funnily enough, it's a post that has been my 'most popular post' for the last couple of weeks. When I saw it pop to the top the other week I began to think about the people who were using it to plan their trips. Then I started to scroll through the comments.

One stuck out a mile and had me crying at my laptop.

This...

A comment left by Kerry (aka Multiple Mummy) who passed away at the age of 30 (with 3 children all under the age of 5) only a month ago.

I haven't told Matt yet but Kerry's words are getting to me.

You really never know what's round the corner.

Matt and I are going to talk it over tonight and make a decision but something tells me that life is definitely too short to let opportunities pass you by.