Thursday, 30 May 2013

Guest Post...The Little Gang In Paris - Se Souvenir Des Belles Choses

Françoise, actually started her blog in June 2012 after moving to Paris with an 18 month old and another on the way. However, she only blogged 3 posts before starting officially in March this year.

The Little Gang In Paris is her blog about all the stories of their life over the other side of the channel and she blogs in both French and English! There's commitment for you.

Having known and met Multiple Mummy, this heartfelt post by Françoise made me cry. I think everyone in the blogging community and beyond (Françoise is also a friend of Jennie) is feeling very sensitive at the the moment. 

The title of this post in English is 'Remember the beautiful things' but I think it sounds much better in French. Considering English is not her first language, this reads beautifully.

Se souvenir des belles choses

This week I have read a blog that I hadn't heard about before (I have started blogging very recently). It was Multiple Mummy's blog. As I didn't know it, I read the "About' page. A minute later I was reading the "tribute to my beautiful wife". I had already grown an empathy for this woman and a minute later I was reading that she has passed away recently. 
I was left in shock.

Life is frail, very fail. 
Most of the time, you don't know it.
Most of the time, you ignore it, you forget it, you just don't think about the fact that you can die unexpectedly.

If we are honest with ourselves, we can only picture ourselves alive for a long time surrounded by our family and children. 

We cannot imagine that we might not be there to witness our children's life.
We cannot imagine that they might not be there with us for the rest of our life.
Yet, we, or they, could die, tomorrow, in a month, in ten years. 

We forget that we are only human until ...  we lose someone we cherish. 

Over the last four years, I have lost my father. He died of a cancer. 
I have lost a very dear friend. He was murdered for who knows what reason last August. 
And recently, friends well known in the blogging community in the UK have lost their baby girl. 

This has left me in a very deep state of sadness that I find hard sharing with other people, This has left me wondering about the beauty and cruelty of life. 

Because there is definitely beauty in life : one of the truest experiences of it is giving birth.
But there is also cruelty : why would you die before you've even had the time to live ? Why would such people, with so much happiness in them, have to die so early ? 
Because this is the common point between my dad, Paul and Matilda : so much happiness, so much joie de vivre.  
It makes it so much harder to go on for their loved ones.

But as sad as I am - and I have never been so sad in my life - I want, I need, to learn something from these tragedies. And they really are tragedies to me. 

We are in charge of our children's childhood. 
Them having wonderful memories of it is all down to us making it happen.
I don't know if I will be able to look back in the future and say that I have become the mother I wanted to be.
But this is what I want to aim for. 
This is the portrayal of the mother I want to be. 
This is the mother I wish my children say I was if I was to die tomorrow : 

A mother who loved her children,

A mother who told them everyday she did,
A mother who they could talk to,
A mother they trusted enough to confide when things were not ok,
A mother who made them laugh,
A mother who gave them a sense of curiosity, 
A mother who gave them a taste for adventure,
A mother who built their selfconfidence,
A mother who made sure they understood life had to be enjoyed fully, 
A mother who made sure they understood that family matters,
A mother who built their relationship as brother and sister,
A mother who truly played with them,
A mother who danced and sung with them, 
A mother who took them to as many places as she could,
A mother who made things by herself for them to play with, for them to wear...
A mother who tried to communicate her passions with them, not necessarily for them to have these passions, but for them to have passions of their own, for them to be open-minded.

I don't mean to sound arrogant. 
I have a lot to do to become this person. 
I'm not sure I will succeed. 
But this will steer me in the right direction.

I have written this yesterday and I realize that the person I want to be for my children is the person my dad was for me. 

He really was an awesome father and I miss him dearly. 


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Jill Pryor said...

This is such a heartfelt post and has really made me think, thank you. I hope you can achieve your goal, Jill x

Françoise ROGE said...

I agree but it also seems that I have to remind myself to be that person all the time because everyday life brings you back to bad habits very quickly. I still often make my children wait because something needs to be done and it really should be the other way round... I feel bad every time I do that now.

SAHMlovingit said...

As you know, this post moved me to tears. Thank you so much for guest posting for me xx

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