Gone Far Too Soon

It's strange how things happen sometimes.

Every year about this time I always think about an old school friend of mine.

Then, as I'm clearing away some things in the house this week this photograph on the left drops out onto the floor - it's a photo I've not seen in a long time.

A group of friends, about 14 years old, I'm guessing, crammed into a photo booth just for fun. All 8 of us, so full of hopes and dreams.

Incase you're wondering, that's me on the left with the fuzzy fringe.

So what's strange about this photo making an appearance this week? Well, the girl above me is no longer with us. Katie was killed on this very day back in 1995. Her life snatched from her in a car crash at the tender age of 20.

I think her death affected me more than I let on as I still think about her now, 16 years on and think about what she would have achieved. Her life was pretty perfect, she was young, beautiful and extremely talented.

I still think about how her funeral was the first funeral I'd ever been to and I still remember the faces of her parents and her younger sisters walking behind the coffin.

I remember how one of my friends mothers picked us (two friends and myself) up after the funeral. My friend had a mother you didn't mess with, she was permanently moody (I kid you not) but her mood that day was so warm and affectionate, like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was probably the fact that the 3 of us were all propping each other up in pool of tears or maybe it was just a strange relief that it wasn't her daughter who had been taken from her. Now I'm a parent myself I understand more about how all our parents must have felt when this tragedy hit the community.

I still remember how I hadn't seen Katie for such a long time as she'd been away at Uni then about a week before the accident I'd bumped into her in the local pub. We'd shared some talk and a hug.

Then this happened. 

As I say, it's strange how things happen sometimes.

9/11 Versus 5/2

It's the news everyone is talking about and I don't doubt that thousands of bloggers will be typing their fingers off over the next couple of days or maybe not? I certainly wasn't going to blog about it as I try to keep my blog fairly light-hearted and it's a highly controversial subject. However, you know when something's niggling at you and you need to write to get it off your chest? I wrote this post this afternoon and have been wondering whether to press publish but I've been inspired by this blog by Readily A Parent to post it.  You should go and read it, I feel it's a poignant reminder to us all.

The worlds most wanted man, Osama Bin Laden, is dead.

My knee-jerk reaction when I heard this morning was this was brilliant news but the more I have thought about it over the course of the day, the more my stomach is beginning to fill with dread. Dread that things are only going to get worse. A lot worse.

You see, I have very strong connections with America. Half my family live there.

Like everyone else, I remember the attack on the twin towers on 9/11 vividly. I was holidaying in Kefalonia in Greece when I switched on my mobile phone to see a text from a work colleague telling me of the events. My heart was in mouth. I ran back to the apartment and switched on the TV and the realisation of what was happening hit me like a kick in the stomach. I sat on the bed and cried.

My Uncle, whom I adore, was an airline pilot at the time (he's since retired) and he flew that route so many times. I rang my parents straight away but they told me they had tried endlessly to contact Uncle David without luck.

I couldn't relax. I was stuck in a foreign country on a holiday to try and save my marriage with a guy I didn't love. I've never felt so alone in my whole life. Even thinking about it all now makes me fill up.

Eventually my Mum rang me to let me know Uncle David was safe. He'd actually just landed in Boston when the first plane hit.

My Uncle was fine but thousands of people weren't that day. The repercussions of the tragedy rippled through the world. Stories were told, stories of immense sadness and devastation. As someone who's visited ground zero and also visited the Newseum in Washington DC (see some of my photos here or click on the photo opposite) I stand by my initial reaction - I was glad he was dead.

However, now I feel somewhat numbed by it all and I haven't turned the news on at all today because I think that the 'celebrations' I've heard about are wrong.

I've been a little subdued today since the news properly sunk in. I can't help that even though some people think this is the end it is actually only the start. I grow fearful that an already crazy world full of a lot of hatred and crime will only be fueled by todays events and I worry about the future in which my daughter is growing up. I know that's a very deep and dark statement to make but I can't help but feel that way.

I don't doubt that I'll remember this day too. Where I was and what I was doing on 5/2 when I heard the news that 'he' was dead.