Letting Go

My little girl is growing up.

She only turned 4 in March and I'm now facing a real emotional struggle.

A struggle of happiness and proudness but also a struggle of sadness at letting go.

We moved house just 3 weeks ago and it seemed this weekend, after the children finished school for the summer on Friday, that they all took to the outdoors. There are a lot of children of all ages living here and our next door neighbours little boy, who is 7, seems to really like MC.

They first met briefly on Saturday morning as I was popping out to the shops with her quickly. We hadn't been home long before there was a knock at the door.

"Can MC come out to play?"

Before long there were 4 kids in an out of our house and garden. Cries of "We are just going to so and so's house to play on the trampoline", "We are just going to the park","Can we have buckets and spades to collect some rocks?","Can we have ice lollies?".

It was exhausting but it was also lovely.

I know that this is now our life.

The children were 6, 7 and 8 so all older than MC but they were brilliant with her. I watched her play from the window. So grown up but also so small.

We are lucky that we live in a really safe community and we live right in the centre of a quiet cul-de-sac drive with a park opposite.

It doesn't stop me worrying though.

It all feels very alien to me. I don't know if I'm quite ready to be letting her go just yet.

She's my baby. I know she'll always be my baby girl but she's growing up so so fast.

Even tonight, at 7.30pm they called for her. Today I had the boy from next door here for lunch and then the boy down the road walking in the French doors later in the afternoon to come play.

I know that the summer holidays are only just beginning and she'll be making even more friends with the other children who are closer to her own age. I know she's got her head screwed on for a 4 year old but she's also easily led and distracted as any child her age can be.

She starts full-time school in September and I was going to struggle a bit letting her go then, but it seems I've lost her already.

I'm letting her go but tonight I'm holding her tight.

As I sit here typing this she's in my bed, still awake, as we've stayed up to watch Toy Story and the Royal Baby coverage whilst Daddy is away.

I don't think I'm really ready to let go just yet.

Distant Memories

By the time this post goes live I will have been back in the UK exactly a week.

And what a week it's been!

A week of ups and downs coping with jet lag, solicitor stress and house move packing.

It seems like our 22 nights in Orlando is just distant memories already.

But oh what a memory!

We had a truly amazing time. It was just full of sun and fun. Matt and I celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary inside The Magic Kingdom with our two children - it doesn't get much better than that! I can honestly say that I feel like it's the happiest place on earth. The enormity of what Orlando has to offer is incredible. In total now, we've spent just over 6 weeks out there and we've still only just scratched the surface of it.

We can't wait to go back already.

Remember I was a little apprehensive about taking Tiny Ched with us at only 13.5 months?

Well, I needn't have worried a bit. In fact, I think he enjoyed it the most out of all of us. He even finally learnt how to walk, the lazy little monkey.

I plan on writing about our trip in a lot more detail over a few posts but we are due to move house in just 2 weeks so time is something I don't have right now. Remind me never to move house on the back of a holiday again! I have already shared a few of our family photos on my recent Me And Mine post if you missed it.

I also have the amazing BabaSling to review which was a lifesaver on holiday. It's so lightweight and comfortable and was just what we needed, especially at the airport. Full review on this to follow.

In addition to this we took our Cosatto Yo!, which I've reviewed previously, away with us and it was brilliant! One of my major pieces of advice, if you are planning on visiting Orlando, is take a really good pushchair with you. 

We also used the brand new Snoozeshade Plus Deluxe which was fantastic - another lifesaver. TC slept so soundly even at busy and noisy theme parks in 35°C+ temperature! This is another piece of 'must have' advice for summer travelling with little ones.

Anyway, I digress (as usual).

I just wanted to churn out a blog post to announce my arrival back in the UK.

Ta-da! 

*waves*

I am also going to BritMums Live the weekend after next. Let me know if you'll be there and come say "hi". I still can't believe that I'm going down to London in the middle of moving house too! If I'm totally honest, I could do without it but I am so looking forward to seeing old friends (and hugging them tightly) and meeting new ones. I haven't even thought about clothes or even looked at the schedule yet and I don't think I will have time to.

*takes deep breaths and swigs wine*

I'd also like to thank my lovely guest posters who wrote awesome posts for my blog whilst I was away. They are all brand new bloggers so, if you haven't already done so, go have a look and show them some support. 

I also want to apologise for not being on my blog, other blogs or social media much at the moment. I really miss reading and commenting on my friends blogs but that has to take a back seat for now until things calm down. I'm sorry. I will be back! I promise.

I'd also like to say...wait for it...

*passes sick bucket in advance*

...yes this post should come with a boak alert...

I'd like to say that... although I'm busy and stressed to the eyeballs at the moment (and suffering the "why can't I live in Florida?" syndrome) and *breathes sharply* not sleeping properly due to jet lag and stress ... I am happy.

Very happy.

I know I'm one blummin' lucky lady. 

I have one gorgeous and amazing husband who I love even more than the day I married him (and I didn't think it was possible) and two gorgeous, happy and healthy kids. We have just been on, what many would call, the holiday of a lifetime and we are soon to be moving into a big brand new house.

With everything that's happened in the last 6 months (can't believe it's 6 months since the beautiful MultipleMummy passed away), it's really made me appreciate everything so much more and I am trying my best to just be positive and happy that I'm truly blessed. Kerry's comment on my blog in 2012 was on my mind a lot during our holiday. How I wish things were so different.  

Oh yes, how I wish things were so so SO different.

Friends who are going through hard times right now are always in my thoughts and always will be. That's blogger friends and a couple of my very close real life friends (they know who they are). I shed tears of happiness on holiday but I also found myself shedding tears of sadness occasionally. Jennie, especially, has never been far away from my thoughts during our trip. Every bubble I saw blown into the sky at Disney I thought of Matilda Mae and how she would have loved it. I also thought of Tamsin and all that she is going through. I wore my 'Making Waves For Alex T-Shirt' which Mickey Mouse thought was awesome!

Yes, this holiday has made me appreciate everything so much more.

I have the post-holiday blues and feel like our holiday is just distant memories but that's what they are.

Memories.

Amazing memories to cherish. Forever.

I'll always be thankful for them and so much more.