#MeAndMine - A Family Portrait (August)

August has passed by in a blur. I really can't believe how quick the summer holidays have gone.

It's gone that fast that even though we've had so many opportunities on days out to capture a special family photograph, sadly we haven't.

Big mummy fail.

Anyway, I've been taking a bit of a blogging/Twitter/Facebook break lately and today I realised it was the end of the month and I didn't have a photograph for Me and Mine. I thought I may skip this month but that's just crazy. Why let a whole month pass without a family photo when it's something I could get easily if I wanted to? So, armed with my iPhone and its reverse camera I took the photo below at 5.30pm.

We are all absolutely knackered but it was the first and only photo I took and it sums up the day for us.

You see, today was a special day.

Matt and I took Mini Cheddar to the cinema for her first time, out to lunch afterwards and then treated her to some Lego Friends. Yes, the day was just under £100 but it was totally worth it. MC starts full-time school on Wednesday and I will miss her terribly. It was lovely to get out and spoil her on her own as we don't get to do that. In fact, although I've been out with MC and Matt has separately, we've never been out with her on our own together since before the end of last March when Tiny Ched was born.

It did feel so strange being without TC though and the day has left me feeling somewhat emotionally exhausted. I kept thinking of others who have lost their children and it filled me with even more sadness than it usually does. The thought of not having TC in our lives just doesn't bear thinking about and I began to miss him so much. Judging by how clingy he's being with me this evening, I think he missed me too.

So this evening is a mix of emotions for me but I think you can tell from this photo that MC has had the best day ever.

And that's what matters most.

Guest Post...Mummy From The Heart - 5 Top Tips To Avoid Social Media Fatigue

Michelle is a true heart and soul blogger and someone I really admire. She is one of the bloggers who immediately spring to mind when I think about blogging and the amazing people I've met. Her blog 'Mummy From The Heart' is exactly that, it's an open and honest account of her life and her thoughts. 


She is so supportive of new bloggers and she is the person who helped me so much when I first stepped into the blogosphere so I'm honoured to have her guest post on my blog. I've met her a couple of times and was fortunate enough to spend a good amount of quality time with her at the MAD Awards in September and she's a wonderful person.


Michelle makes no secret of the fact that she battles with blogging sometimes (as we all do) and she's great at giving advice about how to find a happy balance. Here, in her guest post she shows us her 5 Top Tips to Avoid Social Media Fatigue...

Image credit

It is so easy to get burnt out in any part of your life.  You find something new, enjoy it, get absorbed in it, make friends, find new avenues, overcommit yourself and before you know it, you feel completely burnt out and what was super fun before no longer is.

Balance is what it is all about; this is what I have discovered.  


Blogging and other forms of social media, such as twitter and facebook are highly addictive and offer many false highs and you can become addicted to those.  The buzz you get when the comments roll in or your visitor stats go up all give you that fleeting thrill but truly that is all it is – momentary. The next day fewer people visit your blog and it is easy to wonder why.  Is my writing not so good today? Am I not as popular as I was?  But of course it is not that, as just one person we are just a very small part of a massively growingblogsphere and loyalty is not something that is at the forefront of many bloggers and readers minds.

Most bloggers are out there seeking new blogs to read, searching for new material, trying to make a name forthemselves in a saturated market, perhaps chasing paid work or aiming to write a book.  Everyone has different reasons for blogging and for a few it is to make solid friendships and those people will come back again and again to your blog but many people will just dip in and out and be acquaintances and this is nothing personal, that is the big thing to remember.

So as someone who has suffered social media fatigue a number of times in the last 3 years or so I thought I would share with you my 5 top tips for staying real –

1.

Accept that you are human and you have real life obligations. There is no point in getting resentful that you have to go to work or that you need to bath the kids, as you would rather be sat there chatting at a laptop.  Yes it is fun to chat on twitter and to blog but if it was not for our real lives and our families what wouldwe have to talk about?  Especially for those of us who are parent bloggers, the kids and our journey into parenthood were our inspiration to start a blog and they should remain at the very heart of it.

2.

The minute you feel you must blog or that blogging feels like hard work, take a break. Nip it in the bud if it seems that you are getting too attached to your blog. Being in the top 20 of any kind of ranking system or having an influence score of 60 or 70 does not define you.  It does not make you a better person.  From personal experience I can say that it may just make you feel sad and inadequate. Know what it is that you blog for and stay true to that.

3.

Don't make an idol of any other blogger.  Some people are destined to do well with their blog, they have that natural talent and their writing is amazing. In every walk of life there are people who have that special je ne sais quoi and chances are if you do not effortlessly have it then you may never. I am not saying you will not be good or even great at what you choose to do but that special intangible quality that some people have just comes without effort.  Imitating another blogger will leave you frustrated as you will never do what they do,quite as well as them. However, when you use your own original voice and are comfortable to reveal you, that iswhen you excel.

4.

Enjoy making friends and reading their blogs. I have been blogging a fair while but it is in the last year that I have developed some serious blogging friendships.  People that I know I would wish to keep in touch with even if I never blogged again.  When I feel down, these people get in contact with me and I love to come and visit their blogs and see what they are up to. You cannot be best friends with everyone, just accept it and work on the relationships that make you happiest.  Hankering after being in the popular crowd is a sure way to feeling depressed.

5.

Set yourself a time limit.  If you know that hanging around twitter for too long gets you down, don't do it. Come on the laptop and do what you need to do first and then visit twitter second (if you feel you must).  If it is making you happy while you are there, stay, have fun.  If not make sure you have given yourself a get-out clause and you know that after ½ hour (or so) you will switch off!

So there you go.  These are the things that I keep in mind nowadays.  When I start to feel unhappy in all things blogging and social media I come back to the reasons why I blog and I remember that I do not want to be the number 1 UK parenting blogger, I want to be someone who shares her faith, makes good friends and gives and receives love and support during tough times.

How about you?  Do you know what you want from your blog? Is it time for a good hard think?

Strange Case Of Dr Mini And Mr Cheddar

I've always been thankful I've been blessed with a lovely, well-behaved toddler. Mini Cheddar is a delight to take out anywhere - especially restaurants and cafes (clearly shares her mummy's love of food) - hasn't had a public tantrum and is genuinely a thoughtful child even at such a tender age.

As from last Thursday evening I'm retracting that statement.

I don't know if it was the fact she'd had a trial at play school in the morning and then crashed out on the sofa in the afternoon but it was as if someone had fed her a bag of pure sugar, whispered nothing but evil thoughts into her delicate ears and told her in true Gladiator style "At my signal, unleash hell".

She wouldn't listen to me, she just laughed when I was stern, she screamed and shrieked at everything, she slammed doors, she kicked the dog and she even hit me!  For a moment I thought Regan MacNeil was in the house.

She's never behaved like this, I was mortified.

Her sleep patterns seem to be changing and last week has seen her pretty much ditch her afternoon nap in favour of 'quiet time'.

She turned 2 in March so maybe it's the 'terrible two's' finally rearing their ugly head and my gorgeously calm little girl is turning into a little monster. I guess I can count myself as lucky that I've escaped it until now.

I'm hoping it's a one-off but I very much doubt it.

As I sat and watched her playing this afternoon I was wondering what was going on inside her adorable little head.  Wondering if she's just ticking away quietly waiting to explode like an atomic bomb of pure naughtiness again.  It's the only way I can describe her outburst last week.

I'm wishing they had meetings for troubled toddlers, like AA meetings, only the kiddos stand up in the circle and babble "My name is Mini Cheddar and it's been 4 days since my last tantrum".  Obviously there would be milk and cookies afterwards.

Whatever it was that fuelled her outburst I'm hoping she remains in her Mini 'Jekyll' Cheddar state for as long as possible because I'm not sure I can cope with Hyde right now.

"Mummy's Got A Visitor"

The moment my husband said to my daughter "Oooooh Mummy's got a visitor", I could quite easily have rammed the cooking tongs I was holding in my hand firmly somewhere the sun doesn't shine.

Yup, PMT is guaranteed to drive you nuts at the best of times but add a piss-taking husband to the equation and it's a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

Why do all men most men does my husband think it's acceptable to assume I'm expecting my monthlies when I'm in a bad mood?

What's worse though? He's always right! He always knows. Like he has some built-in period radar. Again, something else to make me even madder!  Maybe it's a gift he has? Or maybe it's because I'm such a lovely, sweet, adorable and calm wife the rest of the month he can easily tell? *cough cough*

I think maybe the tiredness from CyberMummy caught up with me last week and made my hormonal outburst even more venomous.  The thing is though, I'd been feeling relatively calm all day and in quite a happy mood.  My husband had been out at meetings all day but as soon as he walked in the front door I felt the rage build up inside me.  Yes, it was just him that was destined for the wrath of my menses!

Apparently I'm not alone in this.  I was talking to a couple of my closest friends last Thursday and they admitted the same.  They will feel fine all day in work and as soon as their hands touch the front door to their house it's like something inside them is unleashed.

Whatever it was I've warned him not to ever utter those words again. Nor is he to say "Hmmm clearly rag week" which I've heard him say before.  I know, I know, it's a wonder he's still breathing.

In turn, I've promised to stay away from all sharp objects in the house at certain times of the calendar.

Sleep Envy

It's not until you become a mother that you really understand and appreciate the power of a good sleep in helping the human body work.

Sleep deprivation sucks.

Big time.

I remember the lack of sleep induced haze of those early days, weeks and months with Mini Cheddar.
She didn't start sleeping through properly until I stopped breast-feeding her at 6 months and even then it could be a bit hit and miss due to the dreaded teething.

When she was 5 months old someone really upset me. I remember her, a mother of a 2, saying to me with a look of half horror/half smugness "She's not sleeping through yet? Both of mine slept through at 8 weeks old!".

Photo credit: graur codrin

Well, whoop-de-bloody-do for you! Thanks for going out of your way to tell me that, no seriously, I really appreciate it. That's what my best sarcastic voice was screaming inside along with thoughts of stamping on her toes!

Obviously I didn't. I just smiled sweetly and mumbled something like "well, they are all different aren't they".  I didn't sleep that night.  This time it wasn't Mini Cheddar's fault either. The comment had wound me up.

Why do others feel the need to compare their sleeping angels to the sleep devil you've been blessed with?  Why do they feel the need to tell you exactly how 'Little Johnnie' sleeps through every single night without so much as a peep and emphasise how amazed they are that yours don't?  I'm sure she didn't mean any harm.  I'm sure she was just trying to be 'helpful' but at the time, comments like that are anything but.

Every now and again (thankfully very rarely now) we have a spell when Mini Cheddar has a small block of disturbed nights, usually when she's ill. It ruins us. We had one the other week and it made for a hellish day the day after.  My heart goes out to anyone who's little one doesn't sleep through, it really does.

In addition to this I happened to marry a man who's a bit of a sleep-o-holic. He can say he's not tired (usually waking me up in the process) and then within a couple of minutes he's fast asleep. Maybe it's a man thing? Maybe us women are wired differently?

I'm usually trying to get to sleep whilst thinking about any number of stupid, unimportant things.  I just can't seem to switch my brain off at night anymore. So, if my husband is really tired, he will snore a bit.

Cue me getting REALLY irate!

I don't swear but put me in a situation when I'm tired and someone else is sleeping soundly then the air turns a tad blue.

"STOP F'IN SNORING"...normally coupled with a wild waft of the duvet and a full-on stamping stonk into the bathroom just to make sure I've woken him up properly.

Sleep envy really can make even the relatively calmest of people turn into a monster.

I know.  I am that monster.

Pushing My Buttons

Photo credit: m_bartosch

This isn't really me.  I try to avoid blogging about the really bad stuff, even though I have blogged about cancer before.  However, sometimes I need to vent.  Sometimes I just need an outlet to let off steam...call it cheap therapy if you will.

There is someone in my life who has the ability to push my buttons.

Unfortunately they are the wrong buttons.  These are the buttons that send my anxiety levels to maximum overload and cause a feeling inside me that I can't describe.  It's been happening for a while now and there is little I can do for respite.

I don't know what I can to do to appease the situation.  It's the only real area of my life that I can't control, the only area that I wish to sort so I can feel happier...but I can't. It's awkward.

I'm an extremely easygoing person, I like to think of myself as loyal and friendly and I would hope that those who know me would describe me as exactly that. I have the sort of personality though that appears to let this person wind me up. I tolerate things for an easy life but if the pushing and prodding goes on for much longer I'll be tipped over the edge and explode.

At the moment I'm dangerously close to the edge.

Today was pretty awful. Matt and I had suffered one of the worst nights sleep ever (or should I say lack of) due to Mini Cheddar coughing relentlessly. It would have to happen the night before I'm due to do my volunteer work the next day but c'est la vie (and no it's not someone in the shop, they are all lovely).  We are talking a night with an absolute maximum of 3 hours sleep and broken sleep at that.  A night when you feel sick you're that exhausted. So today wasn't a day I need to be antagonised but I was.

Sometimes I think that being pushed entirely over the edge is the only way to 'clear the air', the only way to gain some sort of balance in my life but I'm scared.  I'm scared of the consequences of what would happen if I'm caught on a wrong day. I'm scared that more than 2 and half years of being hurt and wound up will come pouring out of me in a tirade of feelings I've kept bottled up.

I've gone this long and not bitten though so maybe I can hold out some more.

However, it's inevitable that one day I'll erupt and this is one ash cloud you won't want to be in the vicinity of.