Monday, 22 July 2013

Letting Go

My little girl is growing up.

She only turned 4 in March and I'm now facing a real emotional struggle.

A struggle of happiness and proudness but also a struggle of sadness at letting go.

We moved house just 3 weeks ago and it seemed this weekend, after the children finished school for the summer on Friday, that they all took to the outdoors. There are a lot of children of all ages living here and our next door neighbours little boy, who is 7, seems to really like MC.

They first met briefly on Saturday morning as I was popping out to the shops with her quickly. We hadn't been home long before there was a knock at the door.

"Can MC come out to play?"

Before long there were 4 kids in an out of our house and garden. Cries of "We are just going to so and so's house to play on the trampoline", "We are just going to the park","Can we have buckets and spades to collect some rocks?","Can we have ice lollies?".

It was exhausting but it was also lovely.

I know that this is now our life.

The children were 6, 7 and 8 so all older than MC but they were brilliant with her. I watched her play from the window. So grown up but also so small.

We are lucky that we live in a really safe community and we live right in the centre of a quiet cul-de-sac drive with a park opposite.

It doesn't stop me worrying though.

It all feels very alien to me. I don't know if I'm quite ready to be letting her go just yet.

She's my baby. I know she'll always be my baby girl but she's growing up so so fast.

Even tonight, at 7.30pm they called for her. Today I had the boy from next door here for lunch and then the boy down the road walking in the French doors later in the afternoon to come play.

I know that the summer holidays are only just beginning and she'll be making even more friends with the other children who are closer to her own age. I know she's got her head screwed on for a 4 year old but she's also easily led and distracted as any child her age can be.

She starts full-time school in September and I was going to struggle a bit letting her go then, but it seems I've lost her already.

I'm letting her go but tonight I'm holding her tight.

As I sit here typing this she's in my bed, still awake, as we've stayed up to watch Toy Story and the Royal Baby coverage whilst Daddy is away.

I don't think I'm really ready to let go just yet.


Lauren_W said...

Oh this is quite emotional, and she's not even my daughter!

From what you've said MC has always seemed older than she actually is. I'm sure I will be hesitant when it comes to the boys playing out.

Hugs for you xxx

Hayley said...

Just reading your blog health and can totally relate its lovely but at the same time worrying and like you said a little alien we have kids knocking all the time and I think ruby thinks she's about 9 running off to play its exhausting I had 8 of them at mine last week lol!!! I think it's good for there interpersonal skills mixing with others of different ages and most of my childhood memories were made playing out in the street with friends they grow up to fast tho xx

HELEN said...

Eek! Jack keeps asking to play out & I keep saying no, I know it's only a matter of time....I'm sure the others were much older. I think MC is more mature than jack though but it's scary all the same.....our babies are getting their wings ready to start fleeing our nests!!

SAHMlovingit said...

Oh don't, Helen...I'm quite emotional about it all...don't talk about nests. I'm taking it that Jack is your last so probably even more emotional for you *sniff*. Tell him he can play out when he's 18! MC is out almost every day now xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Aw thanks for commenting Hay. I often wonder if people I actually know in real life read my blog so it's lovely :) Yes, most of my childhood memories are playing out in the street too so I know it will be good for her. It's just scary as she's so so young (only turned 4 in March) - she's loving it though...although she's getting more of a madam attitude for it! Hope to see you soon xx

SAHMlovingit said...

To be fair, I think MC is very much older than what she is. A lot of people always say they think she's older. She's not though, she's still my baby *sniff*. Thanks lovely xx

HELEN said...

I think he will be 18, he has no road sense & is a terrible wanderer! yes, he is definitely the last *sniff*...x

Looking for Blue Sky said...

No, you haven't lost her. She's going out to play - and it's wonderful that she can! - and then she comes back home, to her safe place, where she knows she is looked after and loved.

My 20 year old who originally was mad about the US when she headed over in May, now can't wait to come home. She says she misses us, my home cooking and a tidy (isn) house. I still haven't lost her xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Aaaaw C, that's such a lovely comment and makes perfect sense. Thank you so much. I bet you can't wait to see her too. Surely she must be coming home soon? It seems to be going so fast xx


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