It's been a week since we said goodbye to Matilda Mae.
7 whole days.
It seems like an age already but at the same time it only seems like yesterday.
I knew that if Jennie was happy for blogging friends to go to the church that I wanted to be there. I wanted to give Jennie a big hug. I'd not seen her since she was pregnant with Tilda. I got to give her lots of hugs last week.
It was actually the saddest and most emotionally draining day of my life. But, it was also an amazing day. A day when I saw how much love, strength and dignity Jennie and David have. A day when I saw family and friends celebrate a beautiful little girls 9 months on this earth. A day when I saw tears and a day when I saw smiles.
I'll admit it. I cried. I actually sobbed.
Jennie had put so much thought and planning into Tilda's goodbye and it was amazing.
It was beautiful.
The love inside that church was incredible and is something that will stay with me forever.
Seeing Jennie and David walk down the church aisle. Seeing a broken family. Seeing Baby Tilda's tiny woollen coffin carried by David. Seeing the love and tributes. Seeing the pink and purple. Seeing the beautiful photo montages and words put together by family and friends. Seeing and sharing the beautiful memories.
At one point I didn't think I'd be able to get up and speak but I did. Susanne and I took to the front of the church (shaking like jelly) and we read. I read a goodbye introduction I'd written, Susanne read a small piece she'd written and then we both read these amazing words by Merry. I'm thankful to Merry for providing us with something so powerful. Something to make the blogging community come to life for those that didn't understand it's importance.
I'm so thankful for a lot of things.
I'm thankful to Susanne (and her wonderful Mum who gave me a bed the night before) for her immense support. We held each other. We held each other so much.
I'm also thankful to the lovely ladies I met for the first time. Millie, Monika, Keira, Ruth and Sarah. We shared something very special that day. We shared tears, hugs and smiles. We shared friendship.
Most of all though, I am thankful to Jennie for having me as part of Tilda's goodbye. I'm thankful to her for the love, strength and beauty that radiates from her. Her smile. Her love. Jennie was the ultimate reason that Susanne and I were able to speak. She is one amazing woman.
I will never forget that day.
I will never forget Jennie.
I will never forget her hugging us goodbye and telling us to hold our little ones tight.
But most of all I will never ever forget Baby 'Tiger'.
Jennie, Susanne and Ruth have written beautiful posts which capture the day perfectly. I didn't want to duplicate too much of what's already been said so I urge you to read their words:
Jennie @ edspire.co.uk
Susanne @ ghostwritermummy.co.uk
Ruth @ rocknrollerbaby
In my last post I mentioned about 'Mile In Memory Walks' that are being organised across the UK for 11am on May 11th. I will be part of the North West one in Salford. We will be raising money for FSID's (the cot death charity). There's a little DONATE button on the top right of my blog. Please read more about why we are doing this and please give whatever you can - even if it's just £1. Every little helps to stop another family being broken. Also, if you can donate something to the online auction which will take place the same day - please contact one of us. I will blog more about it in the coming weeks. Thank you for any support you can give us.