Time

Time seems to be flying by at the moment.

Time is something I seem to have very little of.

I find myself wishing for more time.

But time is something that my friend Jennie wishes she had more of with good reason. She wishes she had more time with her beautiful daughter Matilda Mae.

It breaks my heart to think of Baby Tilda but I do.

Every single day.

Even on days when I'm busy there will be at least once that I think of her. And I think of Jennie. I think of how little time they had together.

A mere 9 months.

No time at all.

Today would have been Tilda's 2nd birthday.

Today SHOULD have been Tilda's 2nd birthday.

But it wasn't meant to be.

There is absolutely nothing that anyone can do to bring Matilda back to Jennie's loving arms but there are little differences we can make. We can be there to support Jennie in person or online when she needs us. We can be sympathetic to how us moaning about how bad our days are would upset Jennie.

We can also continue to raise lots of money.

In the 15 months since Matilda Mae passed away and well over £30,000 has been raised for The Lullaby Trust.

How incredible is that?

The Lullaby Trust are a small charity but their work is invaluable is helping support bereaved families and helping to promote safer sleep for babies.

This month there are two events that you can get involved in. I've already posted about the 'Mile In Memory of Matilda Mae' (Sat 17th May) and the 'Baby Tilda Barn Dance' (Sat 31st May) with details of how you can help. Even if you can't attend the events in Warrington, Cheshire and Egerton, Kent then you can still make a donation to The Lullaby Trust in memory of Matilda Mae.

Those of you who are coming along to the events, I look forward to seeing you.

And remember...

Hug your little ones tight tonight.

And always.

Time goes too fast.

Time can be cut short.

Time is something Matilda did not have enough of.

Happy Birthday baby girl.

Photo credit: Jennie @ Edspire

May Is #MatildaMae Month - Come Join Us

I can't believe it's almost May already.

As I sit in my kitchen looking at my 'Matilda Mae' tea light star on my windowsill, the tears sting my eyes.

2nd May should be Matilda's 2nd Birthday.

Baby Tilda.

A little girl who never got to see her 1st birthday, let alone her 2nd. I still struggle to believe that she was taken from Jennie like that. I still struggle to comprehend how cruel life can be to such wonderful people.

Jennie is one of the bravest people I know.

The amount of money she's raised for The Lullaby Trust with help of family, friends and fellow bloggers is phenomenal and it continues next month.

I haven't been blogging much at all. In fact, this will be my first and last post for April but I I want to try and use my blog to tell you all about these wonderful events that are taking place. One in the North West and one in the South of England.

These events are not to be missed.

First up is the 'Mile In Memory of Matilda Mae'.

This is taking place Saturday 17th May at 11am at Walton Gardens, Warrington. Jennie, David and the twins will be there along with friends and fellow bloggers to walk a 'Mile in Memory of Matilda Mae'.

Walton Gardens is a lovely spacious park with large lawns, picnic areas, a large cafe, play areas, a children's zoo and other outdoor activities. We are excited to be holding the Mile In Memory of Matilda May in such a lovely setting and we hope the weather will be kind to us.

You can read more about the event and find all the details on the Mile In Memory of Matilda Mae Facebook page. If you would like to join us then please register your family on the 'Mile In Memory of Matilda Mae Eventbrite Ticket page'.

In order to join us all you need to do is make a donation of at least £1 to the Matilda Mae JustGiving page and ensure you register your family. Please note that you will be required to pay £3.20 for the car park at Walton Gardens but it is well worth it as you can enjoy all the Walton Gardens has to offer. As we get closer to the event we will be updating details so keep your eyes on the Facebook page.


Then, at the end of May, Jennie is hosting the fabulous 'Baby Tilda' Barn Dance.

The barn dance will be held on Saturday 31st May at 12pm - 6.30pm at the Millennium Hall, Egerton, Kent and will be another lovely event for all the family.

The cost to attend the barn dance is a super-low price of £10 for adults and children over 11, £5 for those between 3 and 11 with under 3's free!

The afternoon is set to be wonderful with live music, a hog roast, afternoon tea, a play marquee and much, much more.

We are going down to Kent for it and we cannot wait to go! I wouldn't miss it for the world. Although I'm a little concerned that since Jennie, Susanne and Lisa found out I used to line dance years ago (oh the shame) they expecting big things and I will be disappointing them!

If you wish to find out more about the Baby Tilda Barn Dance you can join the Barn Dance Facebook page. If you wish to purchase tickets you can buy these from Beebies Baby Store page dedicated to the barn dance.

If you are unable to attend the Barn Dance then please look into sponsor opportunities for the Baby Tilda Barn Dance. You can do this by visiting Beebies Baby Store where you will find sponsorship opportunities at the bottom of the page ranging from £10 - £100. If you are unable to sponsor then please consider a donation to The Lullaby Trust in memory of Matilda Mae on Jennie's fundraising page.

I really hope as many of you as possible can make it to the events and I look forward to seeing you there. Please share these events with family and friends as much as possible - thank you.

Matilda Mae

2nd May 2012 - 2nd February 2013

9 months here. 9 months gone. But never forgotten.

One Week On - #MatildaMae

It's been a week since we said goodbye to Matilda Mae.

A week.

7 whole days.

It seems like an age already but at the same time it only seems like yesterday.

I knew that if Jennie was happy for blogging friends to go to the church that I wanted to be there. I wanted to give Jennie a big hug. I'd not seen her since she was pregnant with Tilda. I got to give her lots of hugs last week.

It was actually the saddest and most emotionally draining day of my life. But, it was also an amazing day. A day when I saw how much love, strength and dignity Jennie and David have. A day when I saw family and friends celebrate a beautiful little girls 9 months on this earth. A day when I saw tears and a day when I saw smiles.

I'll admit it. I cried. I actually sobbed.

A lot.

Jennie had put so much thought and planning into Tilda's goodbye and it was amazing.

It was beautiful.

The love inside that church was incredible and is something that will stay with me forever.

Seeing Jennie and David walk down the church aisle. Seeing a broken family. Seeing Baby Tilda's tiny woollen coffin carried by David. Seeing the love and tributes. Seeing the pink and purple. Seeing the beautiful photo montages and words put together by family and friends. Seeing and sharing the beautiful memories.

At one point I didn't think I'd be able to get up and speak but I did. Susanne and I took to the front of the church (shaking like jelly) and we read. I read a goodbye introduction I'd written, Susanne read a small piece she'd written and then we both read these amazing words by Merry. I'm thankful to Merry for providing us with something so powerful. Something to make the blogging community come to life for those that didn't understand it's importance.

I'm so thankful for a lot of things.

I'm thankful to Susanne (and her wonderful Mum who gave me a bed the night before) for her immense support. We held each other. We held each other so much.

Tightly.

I'm also thankful to the lovely ladies I met for the first time. Millie, Monika, Keira, Ruth and Sarah. We shared something very special that day. We shared tears, hugs and smiles. We shared friendship.

Most of all though, I am thankful to Jennie for having me as part of Tilda's goodbye. I'm thankful to her for the love, strength and beauty that radiates from her. Her smile. Her love. Jennie was the ultimate reason that Susanne and I were able to speak. She is one amazing woman.

I will never forget that day.

I will never forget Jennie.

I will never forget her hugging us goodbye and telling us to hold our little ones tight.

But most of all I will never ever forget Baby 'Tiger'.

Jennie, Susanne and Ruth have written beautiful posts which capture the day perfectly. I didn't want to duplicate too much of what's already been said so I urge you to read their words:

Jennie @ edspire.co.uk
Susanne @ ghostwritermummy.co.uk
Ruth @ rocknrollerbaby

In my last post I mentioned about 'Mile In Memory Walks' that are being organised across the UK for 11am on May 11th. I will be part of the North West one in Salford. We will be raising money for FSID's (the cot death charity). There's a little DONATE button on the top right of my blog. Please read more about why we are doing this and please give whatever you can - even if it's just £1. Every little helps to stop another family being broken. Also, if you can donate something to the online auction which will take place the same day - please contact one of us. I will blog more about it in the coming weeks. Thank you for any support you can give us.