No More Park Life

It's only a few weeks since the mindless violence of the riots were splashed all over the media. I avoided taking to my blog about it, I didn't see the point as it would have just got me riled. I was just one of the millions of people who sat open-mouthed at the 'idiots' who thought they were above the law for those few days. I'm just glad Mini Cheddar was young enough to be completely sheltered from the images that graced our TV screens and webpages.

See Saw Marjory Daw

Although there's something that's impacting on her right now that is getting me a bit hot under the collar.

We are lucky enough to live in quite a sought-after area with a lovely play park which is just moments from our house. As residents we pay a management fee for the area we live in which pays for the upkeep of the public areas, the play equipment and insurance of the park. We don't mind, it was something that was part of the house we bought. Mini Cheddar gets so much enjoyment from the park that it pays for itself practically on a daily basis.

However, the day we returned from holiday (14th June) there was a note through the door from the chairman of the management committee to say the park was closed due to vandalism.

It's not the first time. The park was shut last year as someone had damaged the seesaw badly.

Even when the park is open it's subject to the handiwork of the youths. The pictures below were taken before we went on holiday as we played in the park one day. 

                           

However this time it wasn't just stupid graffiti.


They have now taken knives or some other sharp instruments and dug up large chunks of the blue flooring - it's in such a mess.


That was well over two months ago now and the damn park is still shut.

As residents we are responsible for the upkeep of the park which obviously has an impact on the insurance so we've had no alternative other than to close the park until we can put new flooring down. This has to be paid for out of our pot of money.

Access denied

I fully appreciate that the young people of today (man, I sound old) are bored, government cutbacks mean youth services around the country are being closed but is that really an excuse to vandalise young children's play parks? I'm 36 (almost 37 *sob*) so grew up in the 80's - we didn't have the video games or gadgets that the youths of today have but I never went around vandalising things.  

I know I sound all high and mighty, I know I sound like a total 'do-gooder' and I know I sound like a miserable bag but every time we pass the park Mini Cheddar looks so sad and asks me why 'her' park is closed. I'm just frustrated that's all.

A is for...Attention

Those who know me know that I'm not one for attention-seeking (apart from when I have a few vodkas in me but that's another story).  I tend to sit back and take things in rather than speak up like others.  I'm like it in all aspects of my life - work, rest and play.  This is a saying that I face a constant battle with in my life:

"Better to keep your mouth shut and thought a fool than open it and remove the doubt"

It's a great saying but I wish it didn't hang over me so much, I wish I could shake it off.  I'm certainly not a fool so why should I feel this way?

I think it's because there are a few people in life who can't help but dominate proceedings and only thrive when they are the centre of attention.  They have the biggest voices and aren't afraid to use them.  There are also the people who other people can be a bit fearful of most of the time.  I'm one of those people, one who will just sit and say nothing but deep-down I'm wanting to be heard.  When I used to work I would be sat in a brainstorming meeting thinking of all these great ideas but very rarely plucked up the courage to put them out there.  Then someone else would eventually think of it, say it straight away and be called a hero.  Meanwhile I'm sat kicking myself.

There are the people who talk a lot, make a lot of jokes at the expense of other people. They are usually the people who feel better about themselves by being horrible about others.  Someone once said some really nasty things about friends of mine and I actually stood up to it.  I told this person in private that it made me feel uncomfortable. What happened?  They panicked (even though I said I would keep it quiet), decided to lie their way out of it and then brought it into a public forum.  So me speaking up came back to bite me on the ass as this person was louder and powerful compared to little old me.  What did I do?  Nothing, I didn't fight back, I turned away.

In addition to this there are some people who just crave attention, they 'like to be liked'. Yes it's nice to be liked but sometimes it can be a bit too much, a bit over-the-top...well that's how it feels to me sometimes.  Some people go out of their way to get their point across and you (well, me) can get pushed to one side. I often wonder if this is just something built into their personality or it's something that goes deeper, stems from a lack of confidence or they are lacking a certain part of their life constantly striving to get attention.  Maybe it's me?  Maybe I shouldn't be so shy, maybe I should try and shout louder and get heard more.

You also have the people who flit from friend to friend without hesitation.  Like some sort of car deal they trade their old friend in for a newer model when something more exciting comes along and can't help but shout about it.  I actually know someone like this, she has been through 5 'best friends' in 10 years.  Someone new comes on the scene and she casts off her old friend like a slightly-worn but still stunning outfit that she's thrown in the charity bag.

I wish I could be more assertive on occasion.  I certainly don't want to be the centre of attention but I'd like the confidence to be able to stand up and speak my mind sometimes. I wish I could stand up for myself more.  I wish I could be heard.  Saying that, even though I may not be loud and proud I am respectful and loyal.

I guess I'm just not built for attention.   For now I'll live with the quote above hanging around me like a bad smell, I'll be thought a fool but at least I'm a happy fool.

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Photo credit top right: FloatingLemons