It's a question that I sometimes answer with a passion. Ready for a fight that never comes.
It's a question that I sometimes answer with weakness and dread. Then I kick myself for not being proud and not fighting my corner when that question I dread is asked of me.
"What do you do?"
Such a simple question.
It should be a simple answer.
"I'm a stay at home mum" comes my reply.
It's either met with enthusiasm or jealousy...
"Oooh how fabulous!"
"You're so lucky! I wish I could afford to stay at home with the kids - they are only little for such a short time"
...Or it's met with misunderstanding or ignorance.
It happened to me again the other month.
An older brother of an ex-boyfriend I hadn't seen in years.
"So what are you doing now?" he said eagerly.
"I'm a stay at home mum".
"Ooooooh" he laughed "A lady of leisure!"
"Ha, yeah" came my feeble response as I wasn't prepared for a fight…but then I never am. "I wish!" I added on the end and then quickly changed the subject.
I'd like to think I would be ready to stand up for myself but I never am. I then spend the rest of the
It makes me feel like crap.
Why should I have to explain myself?
Why should anyone judge me for giving up a career to be with my kids?
Why should anyone think that being a stay-at-home-mum resembles the lifestyle of a WAG?
I don't judge women who return to work. In fact I salute them. I'm not entirely sure I could do it, especially full-time.
I just know that I hate being judged for the decision I've made. I hate people thinking I swan around each day meeting friends for coffee, having my nails done or going shopping.* It can also make me feel like some kind of second class citizen. Like I don't belong if you know what I mean?
The fact remains, I hate the "What do you do?" question and I don't think that feeling will ever change.
However, I love being a stay-at-home-mum (the clues in the blog!). I love that I am here for my kids and I can watch them both grow. I know that I have these feelings on my side and all the people who are ignorant to my decision can, quite frankly, do one!
If they want to think I lead a WAG lifestyle then let them. The thing is, I lead a lifestyle far more richer than any WAG. I lead a happy and healthy lifestyle with my children and that's something I'm mightily proud of.
* I still have spa vouchers I was given as a gift in March that I haven't used yet!