Thursday, 17 May 2012

I'm Sleeping With Two Men

Well almost...

We are co-sleeping with Tiny Ched.

*sharp intake of breath from the anti co-sleeping brigade*

When Mini Cheddar was born in 2009 we were parents in need of sleep. She hated her Moses basket. It may have been because we didn't give her time. You know how it is with your first born? You practically run to them if they make the slightest little noise. You're on edge constantly, checking they are okay and questioning every action hoping you're caring for them correctly.

MC was also a comfort feeder. I've spoken about this on my blog before. When she was 3 weeks old the health visitor saw how broken and exhausted I was from breast feeding. She told me to get a dummy. When I explained MC was difficult to settle she said "why don't you co-sleep?"

I almost spat out my decaf coffee.


A health visitor suggesting something as controversial as co-sleeping!


I swear...she did.

She went on to explain about how breast feeding women are totally aware of their babies whilst they sleep. How if Matt and I don't smoke or drink then there is no harm in it and it is actually beneficial to both mother and baby.

She told us that if we put MC between our pillows in a wide enough space it was perfectly safe. When does your head ever roll off your pillow and if it ever did it's just your head, not your whole body.

She even directed me to the UNICEF website that talks about it and explained that women all over the world co-sleep with no problems. It's a natural thing to do and breastfeeding mothers and babies get more sleep by co-sleeping.

Thankfully Matt and I are the proud owners of a super king size Tempur bed. Yes, I love our bed - it's totally amazing. This means there is plenty of room for 4 or 5 people (not that we've ever had that many in there you understand!) so co-sleeping with a tiny baby is a doddle.

We co-slept with MC for the first 6 months whilst I was breast feeding. We had no issues moving her to her cot in her room when the time was right. I expected a struggle but it was easy.

TC is a completely different baby to MC. He very rarely comfort sucks, he self soothes and he likes the Moses basket.

So why co-sleep?

Because we like to.

He will sometimes start out in the basket but end up in our bed. Having him close is wonderful. He also sleeps 5-6 hours between feeds at night and has done since he was about 3 weeks old. It may be because he's a typical lazy Lucas male or that we are more chilled out with him being our second child but I like to think that co-sleeping has an impact.

Yes we co-sleep. So what?

For those of you who do co-sleep, you may appreciate this hilarious co-sleeping chart. With thanks to Charlie and Andy at for allowing me to put this on my blog:



Jennypaulin said...

Ha ha that baby sleeping positions guide is very funny! I wish I had co slept with both of mine, then I might actually have got some sleep. I didn't have the confidence and with baby number two I slept in same bed as OH again (with Burton I slept in his room until he was 9 months old) and didn't want to disturb him! Why didn't someone tell me it was ok to co sleep!!
Lovely read and gorgeous photo that made me to awwwww xx

premmymum said...

I love that chart! I miss co-sleeping. I did it with my first and loved the fact he would breast feed and we'd just drop off to sleep together. But I was too scared with my second who was prem, which is such a shame as I would have loved to but she has breathing problems and doesnt regulate her temp so well. - That said, after reading this post ive just scooped her up out of her cot for snuggle :D

LauraCYMFT said...

Awww very sweet picture. At the end of the day, I say, if it gets them to sleep and you are all happy and well rested and it works for you then go for it. I remember falling asleep feeding Miss C (as she was a bit of a comfort feeder!) and often thinking, heck it would just be easier if she slept with me. Her Daddy is a smoker though so it was a no go!

Lauren_W said...

Harry is 10 and a half months old and we're still in the spare room! Although we are waiting for my husband to buy a new cotbed for Harry.
I'm not ready to stop co-sleeping yet. I just wish I had a cot for him to nap in in the daytime xx

Mascara and Mud said...

If you are all happy then go with it I say! Our youngest will creep into ours every now and then and we love it! Sad thing is he'll soon not want to so we're making the most of it xx

would like to be ayummy mummy said...

Your little one is gorgeous and if it works for you then thats great xx

Often called Cathy said...

Love those pictures :) and I didn't realise that co-sleeping was such an issue, I'm all for families doing whatever works best for them xx

tinuke said...

Love the chart, I co-slept but not as a concious lifestyle choice, it was more of a necessity from having a greedy baby who fed every couple of hours all night! This meant we both got more sleep.

I'm glad tiny ched has taken to his Moses basket and to co sleeping so well!

bod for tea said...

He he, that chart is brilliant! We never co-slept with DD, mostly because OH gets up so early and needed his sleep and DD fed every 2 hours round the clock, so I slept in the nursery. But that may have to change this time around...

Inside The Wendy House said...

Do what makes you happy!  They are only little for such a short time...before long they will be 24 years old and will have left home like my eldest baby!!  I still remember when he used to sleep on my chest all night long!  Enjoy it :)

Older Mum said...

Little A and I co-slept for the first year of her life and it was brilliant .... she slept okay and I didn't get too tired. Popping her on the boob was easy. I am sure it must have made her feel very secure to know that mummy was right next to her. Have you read Three In a Bed by Deborah Jackson - its brilliant. We are the only species that separate our young from birth and we have been practising this for only a hundred years or so ... so it actually isnt the norm. Co sleeping is really beneficial for a baby. All the research is now saying its better to have your baby close by whther safely in the bed or cot next to the bed. Rant over!

Beadzoid said...

I LOVE the chart! Sooo funny.  Sounds like you've done the research and it's what is right for you, so good on you!  Let's just hope TC is not a fan of the Roundhouse-Donkey Kong combo (bwah ha haaaaa!) xx

Mummyandthebeastie said...

Ooh only just spotted this. I am in fact co sleeping this time too. With Beastie it was a different ball game, he slept in his moses basket pretty well and then went straight to his cot. We had the occasional night where he wouldn't settle and we used put him in between our pillows but I remember being super paranoid and was not at all comfortable. Luckily it wasn't an issue as he stayed in his basket for the most part...that is until Baby Beastie was born! he is so different and only now am I getting him in his crib for a few hours. He absolutely refused to sleep in it at first and I was forced to co sleep. Like you I didn't realise that is deemed ok if the circumstances are safe and you are breastfeeding. In fact I realised it was safe whenever I woke up from nodding off - hours later, that I hadn't moved an inch. So my instinct works pretty well and it's obvious we are tuned into our babies. Now it’s a mixture of both but I am not freaked out about it now and I can see the benefits. If my clingy baby needs this right now then I will co sleep. Nothing beats waking up while embracing him and seeing his gorgeous little sleeping face :-) xx

Mummyandthebeastie said...

Love the chart too, especially the kicking Dad in the face one! too true x

Mum ofallTrades said...

you do what you have to, to get some shut eye don't you. All of my children slept in beside me, the midwife put the eldest in with me on his first night!

Mummysknee said...

Great post, we don't co sleep it's not cause we are against it, but I was so worried of squashing Bubbles. I had no idea you put them between your pillows that makes total sense! Might even give it a go. Glad you are enjoying TC

Angela Webster said...

I just had to comment on your brilliant post, it's so refreshing to see somebody admitting to co-sleeping, my daughter slept with us since being one week old until recently, she suffered with colic and it was the only way me & my hubby could get any sleep. I have felt like I could'nt admit this as people would be shocked, although the experts of these matters can give us advice they don't live our lives and every child is different although I am still frightened of speaking up as I feel that as parents we are judged as being bad parents if we deviate from the 'norm' so to speak. I have attended one of the baby classes run by my local health visitor recently and came away feeling so guilty as she refered to the advice she was giving as 'Rules' not choices, so well done you have inspired me to start standing up for my rights as a parent to choose what's best for my child :-)

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you for commenting. I didn't know whether to blog about it as I expecting some backlash from disapproving people but at the end of the day, as you say, it's a parents right to do what they feel best. My HV advised us to do it and I'll always be thankful for her health and support. Thanks again x

SAHMlovingit said...

That's great the MW did that. They are dead against it at the hospital here and we even had someone around the ward warning us of the dangers. I just smiled sweetly at them :)

SAHMlovingit said...

Glad you are co-sleeping too - it's lovely isn't it. I love having TC close to me xx

SAHMlovingit said...

YES! Funnily enough my HV who suggested co-sleeping advised me to get the Three In A Bed book, it is fabulous! 

Like you, I honestly believe that co-sleeping is SO beneficial to both mother and baby. I'd love to see someone tell me otherwise.

SAHMlovingit said...

Well, I can highly recommend sleeping with two men ;-)

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