Monday 30 April 2012

You Know You've Just Had A Baby When...


...you permanently walk around with a boob out of your nursing top

...you forget to put said boob away when you answer the door to the postman

...you walk around with a milky sick stain on your shoulder all the time

...your hairbrush has a battle to de-tangle your hair because of the dried sick in it

...dry shampoo is your new best friend

...when you hear the dreaded 'sick' noise over your shoulder you hope it's fresh milk and not curdled smelly milk

...you make new friends from America, Canada and Australia on Twitter because of tweeting at 4am GMT

...you hear the birds wake up

...you get annoyed at how happy the birds are first thing in the morning

...you wonder why there's a wet patch on your lap/groin, then realise you forgot to put your boob away. Again

...if you have to spend more than 48 hours in the house you get severe cabin fever

...you eat constantly but still lose weight (yaye for breastfeeding!)

...your washing machine is constantly on

...you never seem to reach the bottom of the washing pile despite the washing machine being on all the time

...there are clothes drying EVERYWHERE around the house (sod off rain!)

...you decide to wear the same item of clothing 3 days in a row because 'it will only get sicked on anyway'

...you hear your husband snoring peacefully at 4am and deliberately cough/sneeze/yawn loudly/fart to wake him up

...you don't so much as flinch when you get baby poop on your hand

...you are obsessed with the colour/consistency of said poop

...you never want to eat a chicken korma again

...4am is the new time to draft blog posts

"Ok, I hold my hands up - it's all MY fault"

This is a follow-on post from my You Know You're Pregnant When... post




17 comments:

grumpinator said...

Brilliant! Laughing my head off hear - I can relate so much to this post (not right at this moment for me thankfully) x

Lucy at Dear Beautiful Boy said...

So, so, so, so true! And I have all this fun to look forward to again.
I have to say though, that this post has mostly filled me with joy, that I am not the first woman to do these things and that I will no doubt not be the last. X

Blue Sky said...

He he, I still have some of these!  For years my suits always had little grey patches on the shoulder until my special girl was too big to carry :)  And as for the washing machine?  Well I've just worn one out completely in the last couple of months...

Older Mum said...

Oh gosh ... that brought back memories. The dawn chorus rives me bonkers. I now have yogurty stains all over me. 

HELEN said...

great list Heather....but what I want to know is why you have your booby in your lap? I find a good shove & 'your turn' usually wakes the husband up in the middle of the night...by the time he realises that it's not his turn he's awake anyway!
x

scribblingmum said...

So true and I can remember them all! But would you look at that boy of yours, who cares about being a boob flashing sick smelling mama when that's sleeping beside you ;)

Notmyyearoff said...

Omg I remember ALL of this! I got through so
much blog reading because I seemed to be awake most of every single night. I was also very up to date with friends across the Atlantic. I still do have all sorts of food stains all over my clothes though. Usually I can't be bothered changing as they'll only get mucky again.

Leyla Preston said...

Haha this is fantastic and so true! I said yes to all of this :-)

MsXpat said...

LOL here here, so true :0) Its nice to laugh at these things some times :0) You made me smile and I meant it!

Somethingblue_2 said...

Genuine LOL at this. All so true! But what a gorgeous little boy you have, how can you blame him?! x

Beadzoid said...

Hehe brings back memories! Yeah, so not broody after reading that and having my rose coloured specs smashed up and stomped on ;)


C'mon, you're LOVING it :D xxx

Jennypaulin said...

Ha ha so so true!? Oh I don't miss those things but I am sad no looking back that they went by too quickly! I hope you ask and baby boy is gorgeous awwww xx

Honest Mum said...

Hehe-brilliant list and remember those times well. Nervous as come Sept that will be me again. What a gorgeous baby! x

Talesofataitai said...

Oh I SO know where you're coming from. I am constantly covered in baby vomit. Fletch loves a vomit. I have begun to not be so bothered!! And yes, there is religiously a lone boob hanging out where it really shouldn't be. Oh the joy....

Village Mama UK said...

Love this post and love, love, love that photo and caption-it's brightened up my afternoon. Amen to hearing the birds wake up.

PhotoPuddle said...

Brilliant post. I have been nodding and chuckling all the way through reading this! 

Charlotte said...

Great post! Lovely to find your blog! I am going to subscribe.

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