Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Decisions, Decisions...

Matt's interview in America went well - he did his best. Now all we can do is wait.

As I spoke to him last night the uncertainty of even going to the US for this interview has spilled over into what will be if he does get the job.

He's not happy with his work at the moment, he hasn't been for a while. However, his current work allows him to work from home in 'the den' so I'm lucky in respect that, most of the time, he's on hand to help me out. In the early days after MC was born this was a complete Godsend.

He applied for this new job never really thinking he would even get a first interview. To be honest, neither did I. The job looked very high profile (not that he's not, of course) and also more than one language. Being from Derby, Matt even struggles with the English language sometimes!*

So when he got a first telephone interview we were both taken aback. Then he got a second interview. Wow. Then a third one down in London. I thought maybe that would be the end of the line but no. He was due to give a presentation to the head office in Virginia over Skype. Next thing we know - they want to see him. They said they'd fly him out to spend the day with them. He could do the presentation in person and then would have 7 (yes 7!) one-on-ones with various people in the business.

So now here we are awaiting the result which should hopefully come by the end of the week.

He loved the company, loved the people (although he wouldn't be working directly with them) but he said to me last night "If they offer it to me and IF I take it".

"Er? Hold on! 'IF' you take it. What do you mean 'IF'?" I said to him.

MC on Skype with Daddy and Cousin Nick on Sunday.
This may be a more regular occurrence!
So he goes on to explain that he was told that he'd have to go over the the US once a quarter. Plus he'd have to spend some time in London and he doesn't know whether he can cope with that as he'd have to leave me and MC (and the new arrival) again. Thankfully we have relatives that live a stones throw from the US office (Matt spent most of his time over the weekend with them) and they've said that he can stay with them and they'd also love to have me and the kids come out too.

He also said that he never thought he'd get this far and now he has, he's apprehensive. So I asked him why he'd even gone out to the US if he wasn't sure about it. He said he needed to prove to himself he could do it.

So, here we are playing the waiting game. This isn't great when we have a baby due in just less than 5 weeks! If he does get it then last thing I want is him disappearing down to London or even worse, America when there's a new baby on the block!

I'm in two minds about what I want the result to be. I'd be thrilled if he was offered it as it's an amazing opportunity but at the same time I think I may be secretly thrilled if he doesn't get it and I think, from speaking to him last night, that he feels the same. At least then there will be no decision to make and I'll have a husband at home.

All we can do now is wait.

*Obviously a joke before anyone from Derby takes offence ;-)


Lauren_W said...

I want to say good luck and I hope he gets it but I'm not sure if that's what I should say? Lol.
So...I hope the decision they make and he makes is right for you all :-) xx

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh do it, my husband lives interstate (1350km away) for 4 years, only he's not even there anyway, he's in another country. Life is an adventure, you can so totally do a seperated/ split/ move if you have to, it's amazing being independent & a tight family unit. I keep saying to my husband "sure we miss you, but it's not forever" & after 18 years of him coming & going from our lives, i still believe this.
It's hard of course with new babies on your own, my husband always found a war to go to when we had new borns, so glad they were sleepers & feeders. If you're going to life this kind of life, i highly recommend it while the children are young, the younger the better, plus you have Skype these days. First time my husband left for war i got a phone call for 10 minutes a fortnight, prisoners have more contact!! I managed much better while the children were young, now i have one in high school, it's much more demanding (particularly emotions) & he feels he's missing more of their lives too.
I'd jump at the chance of an overseas job, in a heart beat, what an adventure for our 4 children (youngest is 8). Obviously we can't go with him to Afghanistan, but America, YES!!
You'll be amazed at how brave & capable you can be, plus how incredibly close you become with your children, being a wife takes up lots of time, so you devote that time to mothering & it's beautiful.
Good luck, things happen for a reason, you're lucky to have such an employable husband. I believe things aren't great in the UK or USA for jobs (we're fine in Australia). Embrace it & all the best with that little baby in your belly, trust me, it will go with the flow of what you decide. Love Posie

mid30slife said...

Oooh I know the feeling!!  When my husband was talking to his company about the UK posting, I was secretly (or not-so-secretly) hoping he wouldn't get it.  It's not a nice feeling is it.    And then I thought to myself "well if we go, he won't be travelling as much" which, I later discovered, was completely wrong.  Oh.  

But still, it's worked out brilliantly in the end.  And can I just say that there is NOTHING like having your husband love his job.  It's worth anything.  

Good luck. xxxx

bod for tea said...

We were in a similar position in China where OH would have to travel a lot for work and now that we're back he's usually away at least once a week. We get through it. I started building my own routine for when he's away. It's true what they say, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When they come home it's wonderful. And I agree with Rachel, when they love their job, they're much happier at home too.

HELEN said...

I'm afraid to say that it seems like it's a done deal to me Heather...all those interviews! If he does get it it will be a great opportunity for him & you will adapt...we always do....and who knows what will be down the line....I think that whatever happens will happen because it's meant to....our lives are already mapped out for us. We moved 4000 miles away from all our family and friends when I was 6 months pregnant...I had no idea how I would cope, but I did, and you will cope too if it comes down to it.
Whatever happens I just hope that it all turns out for the best, which I'm sure it will.....and remember, I have that gin on standby..

Mummy Beadzoid said...

I agree with Helen that it sounds like a done deal - I mean flying him out there and making all that effort after so many interviews?  But it has to be the right thing for both of you.  Have to confess I think it sounds like a brilliant opportunity, and though the timing isn't perfect (when are things ever?) you'll both perhaps always wonder if Matt is offered it and turns it down.

Good luck with whatever you both decide.  It's a difficult way of life when husbands/dads are away from home a lot, but it's actually not that bad once you get used to it xXx

grumpinator said...

What's for you won't go past you. If he's offered it he should take it and I am sure you will all work hard to make it work for you. x

Village Mama UK said...

Oh, I don't envy you hun! I guess that however it pans out then that'll be that and you'll just get on with it.  Hope it ends up in a positive situation however the coin drops.  Hope the pregnancy is going well. x

Mari said...

Wow oh wow, that is a toughie! I feel for Matt as he is unhappy where he is and this job would obviously open up an entire new world to him and therefore you too. 
If he was offered the job I'd say go for it, there's always a way around new changes in life and I'm sure the pari of you will cope admirably as you say you're surrounded by family all of whom will be on hand to help.
This might be the change you've been waiting for so try and see the positive ;)

Ca4ole said...

Good blog. You might enjoy this little poem about mothers.

Emma said...

oh how exciting! I hope whatever happens the decision isn't too hard to make, and I'm sure either way it will work out for the best. xxx

Blue Sky said...

Wow, that's a lot to be going on when you've a baby due in a few weeks!  Wishing you lots of calm times ahead, whatever the outcome xx

scribblingmum said...

Oh, gosh, so much going on at the moment! Only you guys will know what the right decision is when it comes to the time. My husband has just taken voluntary redundancy and although it was a scary choice and it will undoubtably change the very positive lucky work/life he has just now, I think it'll be worth the leap of faith overall. My view was that things change all the time anyway and you will cope and adjust as you need to if, in the grand scheme, it means that you're all happier. 

But, man, the waiting must be doing your head in! I shall keep my fingers crossed for an early yes/no at the very least X

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks Caroline - he was told he'd hear by the end of the week but Friday has come and gone and we haven't heard anything so the wait continues :( 
There was voluntary redundancy at his work last month and we are now wishing he'd taken it! x

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you :) xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks Emma :) xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks hun. IF he does get offered the job (we still haven't heard) then I'm going to try and make him take it. I think it will be good for him which will ultimately be good for us all :) xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you. Hope the sleepless nights are few and far between for you at the moment xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks Claire - I think he should take it if he gets offered it. Was suppose to hear by the end of the week but nothing so he's thinking he's not got it. Oh well, what will be - will be xx

SAHMlovingit said...

You would think that but he's still not heard and they said they would let him have feedback by the end of the week so we face the weekend in limbo. He's thinking he's not got it and they are just eeking it out. Thanks hun xx

SAHMlovingit said...

I can't imagine how you did that whilst 6 months pregnant Helen - amazing! 

We are still waiting to hear so he thinks he hasn't got it - he said at least he won't have to make the decision himself. Ho hum xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Yeah, something needs to give as he's getting so frustrated with his work at the moment. I guess we'll have to wait and see if he gets offered it - still not heard so it's not looking good xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you for this:

"there is NOTHING like having your husband love his job.  It's worth anything"

That's really helped Rachel. If he does get it (not looking good though as we are still waiting) then I think I'm going to suggest he goes for it.


SAHMlovingit said...

I think it's just being heavily pregnant which is making this more difficult. I hate him being so far away from me right now and the prospect of it in the future is daunting but I do think it would be a wonderful opportunity. Thanks Posie xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks lovely. Still waiting to hear so it's not looking good that he will get offered it but he did say last night that at least he won't have to make the decision xx

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