Monday 27 February 2012

Absence Really Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder

According to Elton John, 'sorry' seems to be the hardest word.

I'd like to challenge Mr. John (or should I say Mr. Dwight?) over that song. For me 'goodbye' seems to be the hardest word.

As those of you who read my Pregnancy Patter post last Monday will know, Matt had to go away for a short while.  He's still away now, as I write this, and I can honestly say it's been really hard.

It sounds so silly being so upset about him going away for what works out to be not even 5 days but he works from home so I'm used to having him here. Of course, he goes away on business a bit but he usually only goes for one night and the most he's ever been away in the past 8 years has been 2 nights. Also, the furthest he's ever been is Holland.

This time he's over 3,500 miles away.

In America.

We all had a last dinner out together before we
took Daddy to the station - this was just before
we left the restaurant to catch his train
Saying goodbye to him at the end of last week was really difficult. I hate the thought of him being so far away from us. Being 35 weeks pregnant is really making this so hard. I miss him terribly and every time I think about it I get all blubbery and snotty. It doesn't help that Mini Cheddar keeps cuddling me, stroking my hair and saying "It will be okay Mummy. Daddy will be home soon".  I feel like MC is looking after me at the moment! Thankfully yesterday we had 2 video calls with him on Skype which helped a lot.

It's really made me appreciate everything I have. Really made me realise just how much I love my husband. I've always loved him, right from when we first met, but this ache in my heart is horrible. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones heightening everything (I think it is) but the distance and the different time zone that's between us right now is something I can't get my head around. It's also been hard that it's completely taken away our 'family time' at the weekend. Having inlaws in Nottingham means one day every other weekend is spent seeing them so it reduces our weekends together enough as it is.

All I could do last week when we parted was think about how it must feel for people (especially those with children) to be separated for long periods of time. I have a friend who's husband is in the US Army and they went for 15 months without seeing each other - they have 3 children. I just don't know how you get through that. I have a new found appreciation for all the people who spend long periods of time away from their families. Especially those in the forces who can't guarantee that their loved one will return home to them.

A final kiss for Daddy at the train station
I know Matt is finding it equally hard. He was fighting back tears (as was I) as he kissed us goodbye at the train station to get his train down to Heathrow. Before I'd even returned to the car he'd sent me a text saying "I just want to get off this train and come home with you". A couple of days before he was due to leave he started questioning whether he should go or not. He just kept saying "I don't think I can leave you both". The thing is, this is a great opportunity for him - if he gets the job. He's not happy doing what he's doing at the moment and I can see how much it's frustrating him. Problem is, if he does get this job it will eventually mean more travel as the role covers Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Thankfully his immediate focus will be in the U.K. but my mind keeps thinking about the possibility of being separated from him again in the future...and we will have two children by then.

I'm guessing what will be, will be. He has to get the job first.

For now I'm just concentrating on getting through the next couple of days until he's home safe with us again. I can't wait to pick him up from the station on Tuesday afternoon.

It's true what they say - absence does make the heart grow fonder. I didn't think it was possible to love my husband any more but I do.

I miss him so much it hurts.




26 comments:

Emma said...

Awww Heather. I really feel for you. I know I'm not pregnant, but my hubby went to San Francisco last month for a week and it was awful. I hope the time goes by quickly for you. xxx

HELEN said...

oh no Heather, it really sounds as though the hormones have kicked in....I'm not sure what my excuse for snivelling is though!
I know when I was heavily pregnant with my first & we lived in the US my husband had to go up to Canada for a couple of days & it was horrible...in the days before Skype & then he didn't even have a mobile phone!
Just one more sleep & he will be back with you and hopefully it will be a while before he needs to go away again...and by then  you will have something else to keep you busy & help pass the time quicker!
MC sounds so lovely & caring ...can't wait to meet her one day xx

Mummy Beadzoid said...

Oh bless, hormones probably have a part to play as you are feeling very vulnerable right now.  But like you say, you're not used to your husband being away and although he works from home, you still only get limited family time together.  You obviously have a wonderful marriage for you to both feel the absence so strongly. And MC, what adorable and caring little girl.

When I was younger my dad used to go away for 3 or 4 weeks at a time as a fisherman.  Then when that industry died he got a wonderfully paid job on ships that would go all over the world - Africa, Brazil, you name it.  The closest he ever was was Holland, funnily enough, as that's where his company was based.  Several times he went away for 3 months, two or 3 times missing Christmas.  I don't know how my mum coped really.  So I can sort of understand how you feel.  I missed my Dad, and I think it made it difficult for us to remain close in those awkward teenage years.

I hope that these days go relatively quickly for you.  He will be back soon, and you'll have a wonderful time relishing each others company.  Helen's right though, try and keep yourself busy, do some fun stuff.  That will help xxx

PhotoPuddle said...

I feel the same a you when it comes to my husband going away. I hate it when he has to travel with with work. Luckily it's not that often and it's usually just a night or two in Europe. The furthest he went was a China and I really felt like stamping my feet and saying he couldn't go which would have been very wrong of me. LOL! I can't imagine having a relationship where your other half is always away from long periods of time but I guess you get used to it.
The think the pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping are they? It's amazing how pregnancy makes you really crap at coping with things that would normally be OK.
Don't worry, not long to go now. Pleased that MC has been looking after you so well.

Michelle Twin Mum said...

Not nice that you are hurting but I love how much you and Matt love each other - a perfect match and as for MC and looking after you, she is devine.  Mich x

Mama Syder said...

Awwww Heather sending you a big cuddle. Being pregnant is probably making you feel it more atleast MC is looking after you, bless her x

Sharon Donnelly said...

It's nearly Tuesday, one more sleep (actually you probably are asleep at 35 weeks!) and he'll be home. There was so much love in that post. I am excitedly keeping tabs on you to hear your news when it comes! ;)

Lou Strachan said...

Soon be home honey.... I totally understand how hard it is to be parted from someone you love x

farfromhomemama said...

I hope you've got through it okay. I know how awful it is when your other half works away. It's like something's missing. I enjoy the first hour, the novelty of being in control of the tv remote, but then I'm ready for him to come home. Huge hugs xx

Blue Sky said...

I really feel for you: my ex was a pilot and when we were young and in love, I would be devastated every time he was sent away on 'overnights' - 3-5 nights away, usually in Europe. It was especially difficult when we'd first moved to Ireland and I knew almost no-one, and there was no internet xx

Inside The Wendy House said...

 You enjoy having your man back home Heather!  xxx

Mummyandthebeastie said...

I missed this yesterday! So you will be picking him up soon?! yay. It sounded horrible and I can totally get where you are coming from, especially if you're not the sort of couple that is used to spending time apart. The one great thing to come from it all is that it makes you appreciate what you have sooo much more and it all just reinforces your strong relationship :-) Enjoy your evening, having hubby home and I hope the job interview went well xx

SAHMlovingit said...

No Internet! *shudders* :) Thanks C xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks Hannah :) Yup, I picked him up and it's SO lovely to have him back xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Thanks hun. Yes, we got through it and he's now back home with me. You're so right, it is like something is missing xx

SAHMlovingit said...

Aw, thank you Mich :) xx

SAHMlovingit said...

No, I think pregnancy hormones aren't helping but he's back home now - yaye! It's so lovely to have him back...although my nice tidy house is already a mess again. I always thought it was MC who made the mess but nope, it's definitely Matt.  
Hope you're doing well lovely xx

SAHMlovingit said...

That must have been awful C, to have your Dad away so much like that - especially over Christmas. 
Matt is back home now so I feel much happier xx

SAHMlovingit said...

He's back home so you can put your towels (and your gin!) away for now :)
Blimey, I remember the days before mobile phones - how did we cope?We SO have to meet up. I must go past your house every time I visit the inlaws (Notts).xx

HELEN said...

yaaay! Hope he's brought lots of pressies!
Yes we really do need to meet up & let Jack & MC wreak havoc! Which way do you go? A50 past Uttoxeter? x

SAHMlovingit said...

He bought me a gorgeous A&F top (for after baby arrives) and bought MC some Tangled things. She didn't expect anything so was so made up.
Yes, we go M56, M6, A50. We used to meet up sometimes at The Racecourse pub but now when we do a half-way meet we get together at the Toby Carvery in Longton xx

HELEN said...

well you don't go far from us then...the Racecourse pub is about 10 miles from us x

Alice Harold said...

I know how you feel - mine stays away once or twice a week and I HATE it! I never sleep as well when he's gone and miss him terribly. xx

Mummy Beadzoid said...

Glad you are re-united! :D xx

grumpinator said...

by the time I caught up with this he's home but hopefully you managed OK and that you are glad to have him back with you again. Not long to go now!! x

MummyVsWork said...

Aww must have been so hard :(

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