C is for...Cancer

Photo credit: jscreationzs

When most people are asked what their biggest fear is you often hear them say things like spiders or flying.  Not me.

Sure, I don't really like spiders but the thing I'm afraid of most is cancer.

I'd heard of cancer when I was younger and didn't really think much of it.  It was something I read about in the news from time to time. something that didn't register with me much.  It wasn't until my early 20's when it really started to have an impact on my life.

My friend rang me "R**'s Mum has been taken into hospital really poorly, we are waiting for confirmation on tests but they think it could be bowel cancer".   I was in shock.  Not long before this my friend and I had been out with her mother-in-law in the local pub watching a tacky 'Chippendales' type tribute act and getting stupidly drunk and falling about laughing together.  3 weeks after this phone call she died.  She was 50.  She was young at heart and fun-loving woman with a heart of gold.

As I stood in the crematorium singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" (Liverpool FC was her family passion) I couldn't believe what had happened.  How had something like this taken her so quickly?

It was not long after that first moment that cancer impacted on my life that I heard more about it through friends who had other friends or family members who had cancer.  Then the worst happened....my parents turned up on my doorstep one the evening.  I knew straight away something was wrong.  "I've been diagnosed with breast cancer" Mum said, the words ringing in my ears.  I held it together as best I could until they left then I broke down.  My husband said to me "She'll be fine, it's only breast cancer - it's not like it's the worst kind".  He didn't even hug me, he just shrugged it off and walked away.  I could have punched him right there.  I grabbed my coat and drove to my friends house who gave me the hugs and words of support I needed. Needless to say, that husband is now my ex-husband.

Mum had to have a mastectomy and it was hard-going but she got through it.  She was told that if the cancer hadn't returned within 5 years she would be given the all clear.  4 and half years later it was back and she had to have another mastectomy.  That was 4 years ago now.  She still goes for her regular checks and I just hope it's completely gone.

In 2007, just before Matt (my lovely husband I'm married to now) were due to wed my Nan became really poorly.  She was unable to travel up from Luton to the ceremony.  I knew it was something serious.  Just after the wedding we were told she had pancreatic cancer.  It hit us all hard.  My Nan had always been so full of life and active.  Even though I was doing a 126 mile commute each day I still made the 400 mile round trip journey to Luton and back to visit my Nan every weekend for the 2 months she was ill.  Watching this disease take hold of her and waste her away was heart-breaking.  I'll never forget my sister and I having to help her onto the commode. I'll never forget her not knowing who we were toward the end apart from the odd smile. I so wish she'd been around to witness the birth of my baby girl.  My Nan passed away in October 2007.

Then a couple of years ago one of my closest friends Mum was diagnosed with cancer.  I was a massive support for her through a really dark time in her life.  Her Mum died in October 2008.  I remember being pregnant and emotional at the funeral as my heart was aching for my friend and the memory of my Nan was all too raw.

Exactly a year later another one of my closest friends Mums died from cancer.  Another year, another funeral to go to.  Another cancer victim.

It was all too much...3 years, 3 Octobers, 3 cancer victims, 3 deaths, 3 funerals.

Out of my 6 closest friends in my life, 3 of them have lost their mums to cancer.

Now I have a male friend who is currently battling prostate cancer at the age of 50 and a friend who has a cousin battling ovarian cancer at the age of 42.  Last week I read in the news that 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer - shocking stats.

Cancer is evil, cancer is disgusting.  It rips through families and causes so much heartache.  It's the one thing in life I fear the most.

I give a small amount of money to Cancer Research and to MacMillan each month.  I've been donating since cancer first hit my life.   I'm not a religious person but I do pray that one day they find a cure.

Sorry this is a deep and dark post but, if you've got this far, thank you for reading.

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Silent Sunday #4

I know it's no words and I never usually put words on my Silent Sunday post but, just incase you're curious about the 'leg', click here (rant warning!)

Scumptious Beetroot Seed Cake Recipe

When I started blogging the other month I never thought I'd have any recipes on here but I do love to cook.  Infact, I cook quite a bit but I'm certainly no expert in the kitchen.  I have an array of cookbooks that I dabble in but tend to steer toward my favorite recipes.  Most of the dishes I cook are main meals and savoury but there is one baking recipe that I absolutely love.

Someone described the chef Nigel Slater to me recently as a 'National Treasure'.  A perfect description of the most down-to-earth chef that currently graces our TV screens. No swearing, no pukka pukka, just wonderful Nigel.

This is his recipe for an amazing Beetroot Poppy Seed Cake which I've made a number of times.  It doesn't taste of beetroot but has a great earthiness to it.  It's sweet but doesn't contain as much sugar as most cakes and it's made without butter so it will keep in your pantry (not that I have one!) for a long time.  It's also full of so many amazing seeds that give it a nutty texture.  My daughter loves it and loves helping me bake it.

My daughter ready with the ingredients

INGREDIENTS

Self raising flour - 225g
Bicarbonate of soda - half a teaspoon
Baking powder - 1 level teaspoon
Ground cinnamon - half a teaspoon
Eggs - 3 (separated)
Light sugar muscovado - 225g
Sunflower or brazil nut oil - 180ml
Raw beetroot - 150g
Juice of half a lemon
Sultanas or raisins - 75g
                                                       Mixed seeds (sunflower, pumpkin, linseed) - 75g

                                                       For the icing (optional):
                                                       Icing sugar - 8 tablespoons
                                                       Lemon juice or orange blossom water

Set the oven at 180˚/Gas 4. Lightly butter a rectangular loaf tin (20cm x 9cm x 7cm deep) then line the bottom with baking parchment.

Mixing the sugar and oil

Sift the flour, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder and cinnamon.  Beat the oil and sugar in a food mixer (I just do this by hand) until well creamed, then introduce the beaten egg yolks one by one - reserving the whites for later.

Mixing in the seeds

Grate the beetroot coarsely and fold into the mixture then add the lemon juice, raisins or sultanas and the assorted seeds.

Fold the flour and raising agents into the mixture whilst the machine is still turning slow (again, I do by hand).  Beat the egg whites till light and almost stiff.  Fold gently but thoroughly into the mixture using a large metal spoon (a wooden one will knock the air out).

Stirring in the raising agents

Pour the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for 50-55 minutes,  covering with a piece of tin foil after 30 minutes.  Test with a skewer for 'doneness'.  The cake should be moist inside but not sticky.  Leave the cake to settle for a good 20 minutes before turning out of its tin onto a wire cooling rack.

Optional icing

Make the icing (optional but I always do it). Sieve the icing sugar and stir enough lemon juice or orange blossom water to a achieve a consistency where the icing will run over the top of the cake and dribble slowly down the sides (about 3 teaspoonfuls), stirring to remove any lumps.  Drizzle over the cake and scatter with poppy seeds.

Spot the person who used to work in marketing!

Enjoy (with a cuppa)!

Part of Ella's Friday Club Carnival

    

Here are the other recipes in this Cakes and Cookies Carnival:

Nova at Cherished by Me gives us her Cherry, Coconut and Marshmallow Traybake.

Kelly at Domestic Goddesque posts her recipe for heart-shaped jammy-dodger-style biscuits in Baking with a heart!

Jules at I Need Curtains for the Window in my Head posts her recipe for Almond Macaroons. 

Helen at Cheeky Wipes gives us her recipe for Coffee Cake.

Gemma at HelloitsGemma's Blog posts her (easiest) Banana Cake (ever).

Sian at Pumpkin and Piglet posts her Chocolate Digestive Biscuits.

Jax at Making It Up gives us her recipe for gingerbread.

Cass at The Diary of a Frugal Family posts her Nutella Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Clare at Seasider in the City gives us her Mars Bar Cake.

Bod for Tea shows us how she makes Iced Animal Biscuits.

Maggy at Red Ted Art has a guest post from Maison Cupcake's Sarah showing us how to make Love Heart Cookies.

Rebecca at twobecomefour gives us her recipe for Beck's Banana Bread.

Jenny at Gingerbread House gives us her Gingerbread cupcakes.

Tiddlyompompom shares the fun she has making cakes with her daughter in Have your cake and eat it.