Thursday, 12 September 2013


I've never been known for my strong stomach.

In fact I always recall an incident whilst shopping with my mum and older sister years ago where a bird decided to empty its bowels from a great height into my sisters hair. My mum, armed with the kind of tissue that mums generally carry around with them (you know the ones they put up their sleeves and then pull out, spit on them and wipe your snotty face), proceeded to wipe the offending bird crap out of my sisters hair.

I gagged.

I mean I really gagged.

It was disgusting. My stomach was convulsing and it still traumatises me when I think of it all these years later. I don't ever remember feeling so repulsed.

Things have changed though.

I think once you have children you seem to obtain a stomach of sheer steel. No longer do I buckle at the sight, sound or smell of poop*. No more do I wretch when I see a big greeny hanging from a nose* Even upchuck doesn't faze me*

No, I am a changed woman.

I wish the same could be said for my daughter. Mini Cheddar appears to have developed my weak stomach and she will gag at pretty much anything. I tried to get her over this problem when Tiny Ched was about 8 months old. I asked her to wipe the smallest (I mean, it wasn't even the size of her fingernail!) bit of spit-up from his chin. She wretched like he'd just curled one out in her lap!

We haven't had an incident for a while so I didn't think anything of it when TC had a bogey hanging from his nose in the bath last night.

Not able to reach for a tissue easily, I wiped it with my hand to wash it away.

A simple enough action.

Every mum has done it.

MC didn't think it was simple though. She saw what I'd done and started gagging.

"Oh don't be so silly, it's just a bogey!", I said laughing.

I think the mere mention of the 'b-word' sent her over the edge!

Next thing I know I'm seeing her vomit her entire dinner up. She vommed everywhere. Yup, everywhere in the bath.

"MATT!" I screamed, hoping my husband could hear me from his office.

He came running upstairs and into the bathroom to see MC, now standing, still gagging and upchucking into the water whilst I'm trying to grab sponges and toys out of the vom and pull the plug.

Meanwhile, little TC who is only 17.5 months wondered what this strange part lumpy, part wispy stuff floating in the water was and decided it would make an interesting play toy.

MC saw him grab the vomit which only made her chunder more.

It was a scene worse than a disaster movie.

MC is scarred for life about bogeys and I'm left with a bath, toys and a baby covered in vomit.

The incident will be forever referred to as 'bogey-gate' in our house and will go in the book of legendary stories with the 'pootastrophe'.


* So long as it's from my own kids, obviously :)


Hurrah for gin said...

Oh no - how funny! I won't even ask if she gets car sick?!

LauraCYMFT said...

Hahahahah! Oh dear. Luckily my 2 have strong stomachs after many a poo in the bath incidents when they were younger. Poor MC!


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