Being Me

You know when you see someone on social media raving about a new fitness routine or a new diet that is making them feel great?

You know when you read it and you just want to reach through the screen and slap the person who posted?

Yeah...well...erm...prepare to slap me!

I'm feeling quite good right now.

I actually 'like' being me.

I'm still a long way from loving my body but I feel happier already.

I've never been overweight. I'm lucky like that. In fact, I used to get teased for being 'skinny' when I was younger. But I hate my legs with a passion. You will very rarely see me in skirts or shorts above the knee. I just feel like my thighs are MAHOOSIVE. I know deep down they aren't really. Not that bad anyway but it's just this thing I have. You know? I think everybody has a part of themselves they really hate or dislike. Also, since breast-feeding two children, I've lost my boobs somewhere along the line so this only puts the emphasis on my bottom-half. Padded bras are my friends at the moment. Boob job anyone?

Anyway, before I ramble on anymore I need to get all this out there on my blog. I don't know why. I just do. I hope that my kids will read this blog when I'm older.

This worries me though.

It worries me because I don't what them to be embarrassed about their bodies. But at the same time I want them to be able to realise they need to take care of their bodies too. At the moment, their diets are shocking. If MC could eat pasta every single day, she would. If TC could eat sausages and breadsticks every day, he would. MC will eat fruit but the only vegetable I can manage to get into her (under duress) is broccoli. TC, on the other hand, is refusing to eat fruit and veg. He's not long turned 2 so I can't reason with him yet. I can get soup into him so this has become my vegetable arsenal. It's so difficult though.

Again, I digress.

What did I want to say again?

Oh right. Yes.

I'll be the first to admit that I spent last year in a bit of a fog. Friends of mine suffered major tragedies and instead of grasping hold of life and making the moments count, I spent a lot of last year feeling a bit 'meh'. My diet was poor and exercise non-existent. I lacked energy and illness seemed to catch me at every opportunity.

Sure, we holidayed in Florida again, which was great, but I wouldn't say it did my diet any favours!

We moved house which didn't help my diet or stress levels.

Then serious food poisoning wiped most of September out (and October out thanks to a relapse).

The weight I lost during the food poisoning was piled back on (and then some) over the Christmas holidays.

As 2014 hit I wanted to make a change but didn't know how to get motivated. Then, in April, it suddenly hit me that I was turning 40 in six months time.

What was I doing?

Some days I'd hit a wall just after lunch and my body would give in to a nap as TC slept. I'd wake up for the school run feeling groggy and moody. I would be a bit snappy with the kids for no real reason.

They were making noise.

They were constantly asking me questions.

They were being silly.

They are kids, that's what kids do! I shouldn't be feeling like this.

Did I really want my kids to remember me as a bit grumpy?

So, since early April I've really made an effort. I've embraced a healthier lifestyle and I am loving it. I'm exercising everyday thanks to Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I've cut out carbs pretty much completely (for someone who lived on bread, rice, pasta and potatoes this is HUGE!) and am trying my best to eat paleo style food as best I can. I've also upped my water intake massively. Previously I'd get to the evening and realise I'd only had one coffee all day.

The change has had a huge impact on me.

I feel pretty good.

My body shape is changing. I'm leaner. I'm fitter.

But best of all?

I just FEEL healthy.

I have more energy. I'm not feeling like I need a nap. I'm sleeping better each night.

You definitely are what you eat.

I'm not saying I don't have the occasional treat...because I do. I'm not saying I have given up alcohol...because I'm not stupid.

People have started to notice over the past couple of weeks. Not everyone. But then I wouldn't expect them to. A couple of friends, my mother-in-law and my hairdresser. Just little comments about weight loss or complexion looking better. It all helps my confidence.

I have a number of lovely friends to thank for their support (you know who you are) in helping me with meal ideas and motivation.

The fog of 2013 has officially lifted.

I'm embracing life and I'm embracing healthy eating.

I'm happy being me.