Tuesday, 11 December 2012

All I Want For Christmas Is A Wonderbra

I've always been happy with my relatively average bosom.

Knowing people who have been - let's just say well and truly 'blessed' in that area - complain of backache or getting unwanted male attention, I've been grateful that I was given what I was.

I breastfed my daughter, Mini Cheddar, and stopped gradually over a few weeks. My boobs stayed in a relatively good condition and size afterwards. With Tiny Ched though, I stopped abruptly. For two weeks I went around looking like Katie Price - albeit a bit less cheery and not wanting anyone to come within 2 feet of my norks for fear of the excruciating pain!

I got through it though.

But what have I been left with?

Not much.

Seriously, I think there is a Tit Fairy who came along and grabbed my reasonable breasts and replaced them with two small bags of flour overnight.


I'm starting to think I'm being punished for quitting breastfeeding, even though it wasn't really my choice *shakes fist at mastitis again*.

What would happen if we had any more children?

Would by chest become inverted?

So, if you're reading my blog Santa...can you please make sure there's a Wonderbra in my stocking this year so people don't start thinking I'm a boy.

I'm just glad Matt didn't marry me for my boobs!

All joking aside though, the disappearance of my norks is totally worth it because of this little dude...

He took my heart and now, it seems, he's taken my breasticles. 

Yes, he's worth every cup size.


Clare said...

You have my sympathy on the mastitis front, but not the breadsticle front! I hate my oversized pair so you are welcome to them. Clothes just aren't made for people with boobs.

Anton1a said...

Oh I can relate to this. Was a 32E pre-kids. Post bfeeding child #1 was a 34C. Post bfeeding child #2 was a 34B. Post bfeeding child #3 I shall look to the A cup market- then what next? I must breed no more or will face inversion, surely?

LauraCYMFT said...

I can so relate. I used to have lovely boobs and now they just look like...well...not very nice. I need a boob job me thinks!! Right now whilst they are cute it is worth it but when they are stroppy teens angry with the world...I might not be so pleased with my children ruining my boobs lol

Lucy said...

Hahaha. I know I probably shouldn't laugh but...... "he's worth every cup size" did make me giggle.
When I stopped feeding my little man it was really gradual but I was also already pregnant with my little lady, so I guess I won't really be able to assess the damage of feeding to my bosom until I finish feeding her. Although I definitely do think that there were a few weeks there between him stopping and them starting to inflate again with pregnancy where they seemed pretty teeny. Nowhere near their former selves anyway.
Although saying that I've always hated boobs so even though they weren't that big to start with, I won't be too disappointed to find they have shrunk a bit. X

HonestMum said...

Hehe, he was worth it and baby number 3???hehe will bring them back to life. And failing that there's always wonderbras! x

Christina E said...

Hehe, cute. Big bangers are overrated though. Take it from someone who was known at school as "Big Tits". Still, my poor not-yet-hit-puberty-sister was "Big Tits sister" so I guess it could have been worse.

I'm going to make you hate me even more by saying "mine are still quite perky"
I'll be off now then..;)

grumpinator said...

I went a bit like that after I stopped feeding JC. I had two triangular, empty sacks! Over the past year I seem to have got my tone back so maybe not all is lost? Baby #3 ooo exciting! xx

farfromhomemama said...

Big boobs are such a burden ... take it from someone who is extremely top heavy. They make me look fat even though I'm not. I was offered a reduction on the NHS a few years ago but decided to wait until after children. Could be on the cards for 2014 though after I finish breat feeding the next one.


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